


Crushing Butterflies

by DaelynPaolini



Category: Naruto
Genre: Action/Adventure, Drama, F/M, Fantasy, Romance, Sakura joins Akatsuki, Tragedy, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-27
Updated: 2013-06-14
Packaged: 2017-12-11 23:35:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 53,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/804543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaelynPaolini/pseuds/DaelynPaolini
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sakura didn't intend to be the catalyst for the end of the world. Itachi didn't intend to make her fall in love with him. Neither meant to curse the world that raised them. But it all happened. Itachi took off his hat, Sakura cared for his health, and everything unraveled.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Epigram

**Box Car Racer**

**I feel So**

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

 

Sometimes  
I wish I was brave  
I wish I was stronger  
wish I could feel no pain  
wish I was young  
wish I was shy  
I wish I was honest  
I wish I was you not I   
  
  
Cause' I feel so mad  
I feel so angry  
Feel so callused  
So lost confused, again  
Feel so cheep  
So used unfaithful  
Lets start over  
Lets start over  
  
  
Sometimes I wish I was smart  
I wish I made cures for  
How people are  
I wish I had power  
I wish I could give  
I wish I could change the world  
For you and me  
  
  
Cause' I feel so mad  
I feel so angry  
Feel so callused  
So lost confused, again  
Feel so cheep  
So used unfaithful  
Lets start over  
Lets start over  
  
  
(Fall- out)   
  
  
  
Cause' I feel so mad  
I feel so angry  
Feel so callused  
So lost confused, again  
Feel so cheep  
So used unfaithful  
Lets start over  
Lets start over  
  
  
Cause' I feel so mad  
I feel so angry  
Feel so callused  
So lost confused, again  
Feel so cheep  
So used unfaithful  
Lets start over  
Lets start over  
Lets start over...


	2. Beginning of the End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reference OkojoUchiha's Final Naruto World Map for international traveling.
> 
> (Can be found on DeviantArt)

**Chapter One**

**Beginning of the End**

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Sakura liked to start her days off from work with a hot bubble bath and a handful of bath beads thrown in. She would soak herself for at least an hour before actually getting to cleaning herself. Sometimes she might thrown in a little personal "me" time, but she liked to save that for de-stressing during her work week. This day happened to be one of those "me" time days, though. Looking back on it, Sakura was glad that's how it turned out. Starting the day off with loose muscles and a nice warm pulsing behind her ears was always refreshing. And with how this one particular day was going to turn out, she needed that happy thought to reflect on.

She carefully pulled her leg out of the soapy water, soap suds and hot water slipping down her milky calf, slowly dragging her fingers down the wiry muscles. Her leg felt smooth as marble, and she was enjoying the feather-light sensation. Sighing, she rested her head on the lip of the tub and let her limbs slip back under the fluffy white surface of the water. There was an echo in her small bathroom at the noise of the motions. She hummed under her breath, summoned a clone for this particular special time, and relaxed.

Afterwards, she enjoyed a healthy breakfast of hot tea and the last remaining chocolate chip cookies in her cabinet. She would have to go shopping later, which she wasn't exactly looking forward to. She was aching and sore from the mild chakra deprivation of the previous fortnight of overexertion. Working overtime for two weeks straight with no time off at the hospital tended to have that effect on a person. It was only by Lady Tsunade's orders that she wasn't going to clock in any time during this weekend. She wasn't even allowed to teach her classes for chuunin interested in the medical career track of the shinobi life. However, come Monday, she was going to make certain she would be back in the saddle.

It humored her that this exertion didn't bother her in the slightest compared to the need to shop. The latter just seemed so negligible in comparison to her work as a medical ninja. There were lives she could be saving right now instead of shopping for a can of diced tomatoes and sour dough; she could list off a number of critical patients in Konoha Regional. Or maybe it was just because she was bad at taking care of herself. Either way, she knew that because she wasn't going to be seeing her headband this weekend, the next three days were going to be as lackadaisical as Neji's humor.

How terribly wrong she was about it all.

The knock that forever changed her life came shortly after noon. Ironically enough, it was Naruto who bore the news.

"Grandma Tsunade wants you," he grumbled. Sakura smiled and cocked an eyebrow.

"Hello to you too, Naruto." She placed her hands on the pale robe draped over her hips and stepped aside for Naruto to enter the threshold of her apartment. Even though she had just started renting this place four months ago, it was already a mess because of Naruto's frequent and unclean visits.

"Hey, do you have any food to eat? I just got back from that mission to Suna and I'm starving." He waltzed into her kitchenette like he owned the place.

"No." Sakura shut the front door and glided across the shiny wood floors to sit at the small fold-out table in her closet-of-a-dinning-room. "What does Lady Tsunade want?"

"Ah, I don't know. Something to do with lemons and oranges…"

"You couldn't possibly mean the fruits," Sakura deadpanned. Naruto glanced up at her with an innocent expression.

"Guess it shouldn't be that important then, right? Take me out to eat, Sakura!" Naruto whined and drawled her name, facing his pink-haired friend with large, watery eyes.

"Pbft, as if. I'm not skirting my responsibilities to throw my hard-earned money down a black hole-" she gave Naruto an expression out of the corner of her eye that blamed him for the cause of cancer- "Help yourself to whatever you find, but I promise you there's not much." She waved at him and stood from the plastic table to walk down the small hallway into her bedroom, shutting the door as she did so.

Her apartment was a junior that put more space in her bedroom than in the living area, like she was some hermit. She enjoyed nights out with friends and party games played in her living room, as cramped as it shouldn't have been. She went to the spas often and liked to go to the library to study and finish Tsunade's research assisgnments with Neji. She trained physically with Lee or Naruto and occassionally with Kakashi, and mentally with Shikamaru. With those four, it was always some sort of challenge she was excited to face. Actually, when she thought about it, the only reason she came home was to sleep and bathe. She even ate out most of the time, whether it be with friends or by herself.

Sakura dressed quickly and dried her hair. She was less happy than she thought she would be, or even ought to be, about being called to Tsunade's office. Hadn't she already expressed her desire for work? Then again, it was more Tsunade's broken promise that irritated her.

"Naruto, is my tonto-" She walked into the cramped living room to see that Naruto had already vacated the premises. He probably hadn't found anything to eat and went to mooch elsewhere. Most likely Kiba's, since they had grown so close safter Naruto returned from his training with Jiraiya more than two years ago.

"There it is," she said, and picked up her tonto knife from the bookshelf in her living room.

The day carried the first sunny and warm weather Konoha had seen since summer of last year, forcing Sakura to regret letting her hair grow out to its previously long and braided length. Maybe she could cut it on her way to Lady Tsunade's office; there was a decent salon nearby. She knew she definitely wasn't going for the hack-and-slash approach like last time (thinking about her lousy self-care in the Forest of Death a little under four years ago caused her to grimace and droop her shoulders). She took a breezy alleyway as a shortcut to the salon, which was ten minutes off course, but she could always teleport to Lady Tsunade's if she was in a hurry.

She could just make out the sign advertising the salon's location when someone shouted her name. She turned around, her hair sticking uncomfortably to the back of her neck with perspiration, and smiled at the sight of Hinata.

"Sakura! I heard Lady Tsunade also wants to speak with you," she smiled weakly at Sakura and lifted a shoulder. "We could walk together, don't you think?"

"Sure," Sakura said, choosing to forget her desire for shorter hair as not to be an imposition on Hinata.

Sakura motioned for Hinata to move beside her. When she did, Sakura could see the sun shine in Hinata's long midnight hair like twinkling stars. Her hair hadn't done that when it was short. And come to think of it, neither did Sakura's. Did length make a difference in sparkly hair? She screwed her lip as she thought about this while walking and making light conversation with Hinata. Eventually, she couldn't help but also let her eyes wander to Hinata's breasts. They'd never been that big before. Looking down at her own body, she grimaced at their smallness in comparison. Maybe hair length was also associated with breast size. She inwardly huffed with dissatisfaction.

When Sakura entered Lady Tsunade’s office Sakura smiled at Shikamaru and TenTen, who leaned against the wall.

Tsunade greeted the two girls with a grunt, reading hastily through a very long scroll. "I'm glad you could finally make it," she said with a clipped tone.

"I'm sorry, Lady Tsunade. We-"

"I don't care about excuses, I just care about the fact that you decided to show up half an hour after I requested your presence." She dropped the scroll in a clatter on her large desk and glared across the room at Sakura and Hinata. Immediately, Sakura regretted her deviation from Lady Tsunade's request. Her cheeks flared with humiliation and disdain. "There is a horrible outbreak of disease in Lemon and Orange Country. Generally speaking, the longer a disease has exposure to the world, the shorter its life. However, this is not the case with the disease that's recently been discovered in Lemon and Orange. In fact, the disease has an increased casualty rate and a more widespread infection area the longer it's left unattended."

"So, you're saying that someone is... _purposefully_  making people sick?" Sakura shifted uncomfortably at this thought. It was all too easy for a medical ninja to harm another as is, but this...this was horrifying and disgusting in an entirely new degree.

"Exactly. The level this disease is on does not exist. It is unprecedented. The threat of this going mainland is inevitable if we don't do  _something._  The Desert Kingdom as well as Nature Country have come together with Lemon and Orange and decided that quarantine is the only logical action to be taken with the way things are right now. There's too much trading between those countries for the disease not to be in the former two. They've created a council amongst these four countries during this period of Martial Law, which has requested the assistance of the top medical ninja in the Five Great nations. I am unavailable. That leaves you, Sakura. And since the consensus is that this disease is either man-made, since there are no records of such a disease ever existing before, or man-caused, you would be the ultimate threat to the operation of whoever created or caused this outbreak, which is why I'm sending Shikamaru, TenTen, and Hinata as back-up." Despite the seriousness of the situation and Lady Tsunade's frank choice of words, Sakura couldn't stop the words that came out next.

"I-I can't be the best medical ninja out of Fire, Wind, Earth, Lightning, and Water. I can’t be the best medical ninja. What about Shizune?” Sakura held her hands up helplessly. Tsunade folded her hands beneath her chin and watched Sakura with softer eyes.

" _Next_ best," Tsunade corrected with a playful smile and paused for a moment of silence. "You are. I wouldn't send someone out of patronizing pity in a situation this dire. When you were training for the jounin exams you were a better combat medic than Shizune, and we all knew it." Sakura was quiet after this, backing in her master’s praise; there was no time for squabbling over semantics. "Shikamaru, TenTen, and Hinata will be acting as your body guards during this mission. TenTen is a distance fighter, so she'll be able to keep the infected at bay for a time, if you encounter any violent ones. Shikamaru is a long- and mid-range fighter, so he'll be able to help TenTen in this respect; he's also the team captain. Hinata has the Byakugan, allowing her to sense the presence of incoming people. However, I want this fact clearly stated, noted, and at the forefront of everyone's mind...

"Hinata, you were not chosen for this mission because of yourself. It is because Neji is already on a mission in Lightning.  _But..._ I did choose you because not only will you be able to assist satisfactorily in this mission, but this mission will also help  _you_  grow as a shinobi. You are not the strongest or fastest or smartest in your year, but I do expect you to hold your own." Tsunade held Hinata's shimmering gaze for a moment before looking over the other three young adults in the room.

"Lady Tsunade, before we leave, may I go over a full report of the disease?" Sakura said after a moment of tense self-conscious silence.

"A partial report is all the time we have to spare." Tsunade pointed at a thin file on the corner of her desk. Sakura quickly went for it, and stared at the sparse contents with disdain.

"This is-"

"All the information that is  _not_  classified—everything else will be disclosed in Orange. This disease is...startling, to say the least. The initial signs of the disease are listed. The final stages of Type Three are...as obvious as they are disgusting, so there's no need to mention it. Assumed transference is listed: we still don't know the exact cause of the disease, or the entirety of what it does to the human body. That's your job: dissect the disease, figure out as much as you can, find a cure if at all possible, and report all information to me."

Lady Tsunade's voice fell to background noise as Sakura became engrossed with the reading. The information she was reading was disturbing in itself. She could scarcely imagine  _seeing_  it, or actually suffering from it. Swollen lymph nodes, blood oozing from the skin, bones as fragile as glass in the hands of a tailed beast, ingested contents expelled from either end of the body, deafness, loss of sight, migraines, the list went on and on. There was so much going on with this disease, Sakura wasn't sure where she should start when she made it to Orange, the eastern country of the intertwined Lemon and Orange. There was massive hemorrhaging, multiple broken bones, and so many other fatal injuries.

"You will boat south through Kawa Pass to southwestern Tea Country, and then take another boat to Nature, then finally Orange. In Nature, you will stay a night in Dakujan in preventive preparation for your stint in Orange. It will take you a few days to reach Nature, and I expect it will take even longer to find correctly observe this disease. If you have any questions while you're in Orange, do not hesitate to send a red-ribbon hawk to Konoha. This mission takes precedence over all others currently in our mission brackets. It is an A-rank mission, so prepare for the worst. Leave as soon as possible."

When it was clear that no one had any questions, and that the briefing was over, they all went their separate ways to pack for the mission at hand. Their plan was to run the rest of the day to a port village on the eastern tip of Kawa Pass, where they would find a vessel waiting for them. The journey south along Tea's western border was long and monotonous, but the quickest route. They stopped twice to spend a night each in local inns. Sakura's saving grace was the several medical scrolls she had brought with her to study.

There were no existing illnesses with similarities to this one—the disease which had coined the name  _Red Death_  due to the immense amount of blood loss. The Red Death completely stood apart in comparison to every other disease in Konoha's archives. It was startling, eye-opening. Whoever had created this (it was entirely obvious that a disease like this was created) paid attention to the most minuscule of details. Not only was advanced medical knowledge required, but chakra control, concentration, and stamina. The Red Death was wreaking havoc on every part of the body, it seemed. Sure, she didn't know everything she needed to, like what it did to the circulatory, nervous, and chakra vascular systems; however, she knew with certainty that Type One R.D. ravaged the body and killed the person within twenty-four hours of their initial exposure to the disease.

What  _could_ be done for these people? She scrunched her face as she tried to imagine an infected person lying in the boat at her feet right now. They were bleeding profusely, had multiple broken ribs, they were deaf, and vomiting blood, because they had thrown up everything else. They would be dehydrated, possibly seizing, terribly weak from the blood loss, and wouldn't be able to communicate coherently. What would she do? The bleeding would be the wisest maneuver, but what about the internal bleeding? The blood veins popping from the pressure, the rapidly beating heart? No, those would be her first-

"Sakura."

A hand on her quivering forearm slung her back into reality. She looked up and saw Shikamaru staring at her with his lazy gaze, but his brow was furrowed in worry. Sakura had bit her lip until it bled; she was shaking and pale, freezing from the icy gulf breeze and spray, and she'd barely slept these last two days. She was a wreck. She was in no condition to treat the infected people. Besides, even if she was in top condition, what could she do for them? She wasn't that good of a medical ninja. She had as many faults as the next person. She could barely use medical ninjutsu in a fight, not to mention-

"Sakura, calm down," Shikamaru whispered, placing his hand over hers and tightening his grip. "You'll be in no condition to save these people and cure the disease if you don't rest. We're all counting on you. Everyone is."

"That's exactly what I don't want," she said.

She looked up to the starry sky above them. The deep violet hue was speckled with twinkling stars, and Sakura couldn't help but be reminded of Hinata's beautiful hair that somehow correlated to breast size. She dropped her head down and sighed. They would be coming to shore soon for the third night's rest. Tomorrow at mid-morning they would be in Nature. And she wouldn't be in any condition to help. She would  _hinder,_  if anything.

Beside her, Shikamaru sighed and stood. He turned around to face the ocean, but looked up at the millions of stars that were sprinkled across the clear night sky. He was lost in thought, considering how to go about the rest of this conversation. Sakura knew this, because it was obvious. He didn't want to say the wrong thing just as much as she didn't want to do the wrong thing. In theory, hundreds of thousands of lives were in her hands. She was presently the only thing standing between them and a swift but painful death.

"You don't have to want responsibility to be accounted for something. Responsibility isn't a desire, a wish, a dream. Responsibility is...an irrevocable possession. Be proud you possess at least that much." He looked at her from the corner of his eye, quirked his lip at her, and walked away to stay in his cabin for the next few hours.

Sakura stayed on port side of the ship, looking at the stars, but not really seeing them. She was worrying about the future, about what she would do. About what would happen to her, and Shikamaru, and Hinata, and TenTen. But no matter how long or hard she thought, what happened would have never crossed her mind in a thousand years.

She was hopeful that way. Naïve, even.


	3. Eating Brains and Losing Fingers

**Chapter Two**

**Eating Brains and Losing Fingers**

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

 

Sakura woke up, not in the bed she had left her conscious body in, but in the cabin of a rocking ship. She sat up, held her hot, throbbing head, and groaned. Plainly put, she felt like crap. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a clock on the wall next to the door. It was eleven. In the morning. She had slept for nearly twelve hours.

"What?" She said disbelievingly, slowly standing up.

She padded across the wooden room and slipped her sandals and bust length flak jacket on before running her fingers through her long, unbraided hair and exited her room. She found TenTen on the deck, leaning against the railing. The salty breeze tossed her chestnut hair around, tugging a few stray strands loose. She looked over her shoulder and threw Sakura a smile before glancing back at the sea. She was physically content, but inside, there was an anxious storm brewing.

"Wakey, wakey, eggs and bacy," TenTen trilled in a singsong voice. Sakura guffawed and lightly punched TenTen's arm.

"I've got a lot on my mind."

"And your shoulders. I don't blame you," she threw Sakura a sympathetic look before watching the wriggling horizon. "It's beautiful. I rarely get to see the ocean, but when I do..." she trailed off with a dreamy voice.

"It's refreshing, that's for sure." Sakura nodded in faux agreement, holding her chin in her bare hand.

They stood together under the yellow sun for quite a while. They were both content to lose themselves in the restless tossing of the waves. It was almost like a manifestation of how they felt; pressured, confused, afraid. Thinking. Always thinking and analyzing. Who would do this and why? How and when? What would they do with the people there? What would they do if they got infected? They would die in a foreign country, three days away from their loved ones.

Could this be a move by Akatsuki? If their aim was to distract, then goal achieved. But then what? Capture Naruto? The disease hadn't even gone mainland yet. Which meant that yes, Sakura and the rest of her team were in grave danger going to Orange. They were supposed to find out how this disease worked, which would ultimately thwart Akatsuki's plans, whatever they were. That would mean Sakura would need even more thorough protection than what she was given. So, Akatsuki wasn't the only suspect in this. Who else was? Who else  _could_  be?

"Akatsuki can't be the only suspect," Sakura said under her breath. TenTen balled her fists tighter.

"That's what Shikamaru said last night." Sakura looked over at her teammate, considering feeling betrayed, but she decided to leave it. She was stressing over this the most out of all of them. They simply wanted to spare her the extra pain. "Who else do you think could be capable of this?"

It was sad the way TenTen phrased her question. Who  _could_. It wasn't questioning morals. There was no doubt that anyone would stoop to the darkest and most disgusting level if they so chose. No, it was a matter of ability. Who  _could_  do this much damage to humanity? Or even the human body? Sakura was ashamed to admit it, but she doubted even Tsunade's ability to create such a horrible disease.

"I honestly don't know," was the only response Sakura could voice with honesty.

"Sakura, look! I think that's Nature!"

Because the island country was a dark blue blur on the horizon, it took well over an hour before they could just make out the port they would be docking at. The air felt more relaxed and comforting the closer they got to Dakujan. The wind was gentle and sweet, brushing stray hair behind Sakura. She felt better than she had before she woke up, but that wasn't saying much.

In Dakujan, the preventive preparation measures consisted of a thorough cycle of washes, chakra deprivation and reapplication, and medicine believed to fight against some of the symptoms. When it was all said and done, they went to their room smelling like formaldehyde and fresh plastic. Sakura collapsed onto her mattress beside Hinata's and covered her eyes with the crook of her elbow. She hoped the other three would go to bed soon, because she was exhausted and needed to sleep off the stress before tomorrow. In the morning, they would travel across the rest of Nature, boat to Orange, and be at the capitol, Shiori, dealing with the Red Death by noon.

"Is she asleep?" TenTen whispered tentatively.

"Sounds like it." Sakura could just imagine Shikamaru glancing at her across the coffee table he was sitting in front of. She decided to play the sleeping fool to see what they had to say.

"I feel so bad for her," Hinata said sadly. "She's under so much stress."

"Yeah. I wish Shizune could have come with us as well," TenTen supplied.

"She has her own responsibilities to attend to," Shikamaru said in a tired tone.

"Oh, Shikamaru. Sakura had the same idea as you- about Akatsuki not being the only suspect. Do you have any idea who else might be the cause of this?"

"Who else is evil enough to do something like this?"

"I don't know...we've been getting a lot of heat from Stone, but they don't have the medical knowledge required to counter a complex poison," he said dissatisfactorily. "Sound has been really quiet lately, too. Maybe they're up to something, enlisting help from somewhere. But I couldn't think of where. They have few allies, and those they're friendly with don't have much more medical knowledge than Stone." The irritation in Shikamaru's voice was palpable.

"What about Blood? They're a pretty aggressive country, and they're also sophisticated," TenTen supplied as she rubbed her chin.

"And they're teetering on the edge of waging war against all the island countries, too..." Shikamaru mumbled, referencing Blood's recent power plays.

Sakura couldn't wrap her head around their secret conversation, much less the politics of the situation. She tried to remember Blood's most recent attack on its surrounding neighbors, but drew a blank. She was exhausted, stressed, and in need of decent sleep. She blinked once to adjust to the darkness of her closed lids and rolled onto her side, putting her back to her team.

It took her a long time to fall asleep. She simply lay there, breathing, listening to the humming voices behind her. They were her lullaby, and they orchestrated the former of her dreams that night, calling forth altered magical tales Sakura hadn't thought about since she was afraid of the dark. How silly a fear. Now she craved the dark for rest. For peace. For security. For confidence as a shinobi.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

From Dakujan, they needed to travel the morning's journey to a small boating dock on the southwestern coast of Nature. Because no one was willing to take them to the most severely affected countries, Shikamaru's team was forced to acquire an appropriate vessel and steer it to the northern island of Orange Country themselves. It wasn't the most gratifying job they could have preformed, but in the end it would prove worth it. But before they even had a chance to hit the sea water, they needed to make their way through the thick, verdant forests of Nature.

Half way through their journey, they would come across two lakes, one of which they would follow on its southeastern side. Tree Lakes, is what they were called, and they were lovely no matter who they asked. The northwestern of the two lakes sat in a valley at the foot of miles worth of beautiful miniature mountains that harbored diamond mines. Along the western portion of the smaller lake was a series of active geysers that sprayed water and steam constantly. This is what Sakura wished she could see the most. She heard you could feel the earth rumble beneath you, as if it were purring like a cat. But sadly, they would stick to the larger of the lakes, which sat on the edge of the bowel surrounding the valley. Large evergreen trees hugged the lake's shore, not even giving the river that fed into it much room to work with.

On their way to Tree Lakes, Shikamaru's team was able to see several different species of beautiful animals. There were mountain lions, grizzly bears, foxes, wolves, and millions of birds, insects, and squirrels. Along smaller rivers, they found the stick houses of families of beavers, and even holes in the riverbeds that Sakura guessed belonged to badgers and creatures of that family. Once, TenTen shrieked, putting everyone on alert for enemies or the infected. Humorously enough, it turned out she simply didn't want to be sprayed by a skunk. Sakura laughed at this, but joined the side of getting the hell out of there when the black and white thing hissed at her and lifted its tail in warning.

They were forced to take a break at midmorning when Hinata pleaded that they stay and explore the maze of waterfalls a few hours from Tree Lakes. Reluctantly, Shikamaru agreed. The girls had fun dancing around the cascading falls, but Shikamaru was bored to death with the physical activities. He ended up sunbathing and napping away the sound of squealing women. After the marine entertainment, the girls joined Shikamaru on the rocks to dry off. They were soaking and had wasted an hour and a half playing, which Shikamaru found troublesome to point out, so he just laughed at them. Sakura ensured he would never do that again with a quick dose of brain damage, prescribed and administered directly by the medical ninja herself.

The journey was quiet from there on out. The day was peaceful, filled with the pealing songs of birds and the soft steps of deer and elk. Overall, Sakura was actually enjoying herself, rid of the stress from the night before. She tried not to think about what it would be like in Orange, the mass casualties and the sleeplessness of solving this disease. She shook her head to snap herself out of these unproductive thoughts. That's the exact opposite of what she needed to be doing. Her muscles were starting to tense again and she'd barely begun to scratch the surface of what was going to happen in the next several days.

"Can you smell it?" TenTen asked breathlessly. Her face was lit up with an adoring smile.

"Yeah, it smells so fresh. All of the lakes in Fire smell like ash and sulfur. This is...I didn't even  _know_  this existed!" Sakura's emerald eyes sparkled with excitement. The prospect of such a clean, beautiful lake sent her for a loop.

Half an hour later, the smell of the lake filled her head. She could just imagine herself lying on a blanket under a shady evergreen, the water tickling her toes and herons cawing in the distance; ducks splashing in the water, chasing each other; deer lapping at the reflective surface. A cool breeze kissed her face and Sakura broke out into a giddy smile.

Without warning, a large explosion disrupted her reverie and sent the entire team tumbling through the air. Sakura and Hinata were slammed into the ground beside each other. TenTen was thrown into a tree and Shikamaru crashed into a thick branch, catching on its limbs. Ears ringing, Sakura looked up at the fuzzy tree tips and the blurry blue sky. She winced and held her bleeding ears. The explosion happened so quickly, and so close to them. What exactly happened? They were running through the trees and...and... Sakura groaned, unable to think through the pain clouding her mind.

"Oh, no, Sakura! Sakura, get up!" Hinata hooked Sakura's arm around her shoulders and leapt into a nearby tree with her.

"What's going on?" Sakura looked over at Hinata. Her teammate's eyes were wide with terror, surrounded by bulging veins. "Hinata, what's going on?"

"The-These people-" she lifted a hand to point in the far distance- "I can  _see_  the disease in their bodies...it's a foreign chakra. It's somehow multiplying; their chakra is growing nonstop! And it's- the chakra signature, it's in their  _b-brains_. It's eating..."

Sakura was finally really coming to. Her brain began to wind up, absorbing Hinata's words. The disease was eating parts of their brains and multiplying their chakra. But how was any of that possible? This disease was unlike any they'd ever encountered. If only Sakura could figure out which parts of the brain the disease was deteriorating, then she would understand exactly what it was doing to them.

"Can you tell which-"

Sakura's words were cut off by a kunai whizzing past her face, cutting her cheek open. She winced and held her face, falling down to the branch beneath them. Hinata was still above her, defensive, but Sakura couldn't take care of her. Sakura had to find each of the enemies and avoid them as best she could. If their chakra was constantly multiplying, then it would be stupid to engage them in combat. Their chakra supply was essentially bottomless, and the way Hinata shook at the sight of the enemies didn't bode well for the amount of chakra they had now.

Sakura looked around and found the person who had thrown the kunai at Sakura's face. He was a muscular man, short but obviously powerful. There were two more fighting with TenTen several dozen yards away. She couldn't find Shikamaru, which was bad. However, with two more enemies converging on a single point, she imagined he was cornered wherever he was and in dire need of assistance.

Silently and with brevity, she moved underneath the man above her, willing to leave him alone with Hinata, and followed the two shinobi. They were moving in fast on some spot in a large tree that seemed negligent at best. Shikamaru had to be there, or they were going to communicate information that may have proved useful to their mission. No. She was wrong. She could just see Shikamaru, slumped over a tree branch. Both shinobi pulled out several kunai and flung it at him.

"Shikamaru!" Sakura threw her arm out at him, hoping somehow that would help him. She was too far away to do anything for him. If he didn't move he was a goner.

The man on her right heard her scream loud and clear, and turned to engage her. Sakura danced around him and through the trees to get away from him, but it was no use. He was faster. And stronger. He grabbed the back of her flak jacket and easily maneuvered her to the ground. Sakura barely caught her footing and stumbled into a tree. She held her hands up and prepared for another attack. When the man hit the ground a few yards in front of her, she couldn't find a headband anywhere on his body. His clothing was plain and black, civilian in nature.

"What does an unaffiliate want with Leaf shinobi?" Sakura called and threw her nose into the air. She radiated confidence and strength, and she hoped he would get the idea to back off. But with the Red Death coursing through his veins and seeing his brain as an all-you-can-eat buffet, she figured that wasn't plausible.

His black eyes were glassy, his expression blank, and his posture slumped. He definitely wasn't in a right state of mind, which frightened Sakura more than the prospect of his half-eaten brain. He had to be in pain, though he didn't show any signs of discomfort. His body was being destroyed and he didn't seem to care. In fact, he was willing more harm to come to him if he was engaging shinobi in open combat like this. What did he want? He was an infected unaffiliate. Did he plan on forcing her to cure him? She might have if he asked nicely (or just plain  _didn't try to kill her team_ ), but now he was low on her priority list. But that couldn't be true either. They had set off an explosion. These unaffiliates meant them serious harm.

"Alright then, bring it on!" Sakura screamed and reared back her gloved fist. The front of her angled skirt billowed around her left leg. The familiar sign of combat made the skin on Sakura's forearm come alive and tingle, and the pale hair stand up tall. She was excited and ready to fight. She wasn't a jounin for nothing.

They fought hand to hand for several seconds when Sakura made the decision that she needed to find the rest of her team and convince them to retreat to Dakujan. She imagined there wouldn't be any convincing necessary. If the other unaffiliates were half as strong as the one she was fighting, it wouldn't even take the magic word for everyone to agree to get out of here. These guys were strong, fast, had insane stamina; their chakra really was bottomless. This guy signed off dozens of jutsu and it had only been five minutes into the battle. Because of their far-ranged fighting style, it was difficult for Sakura to fight them. She was grateful for Tsunade's heavy emphasis on evasion during her training days. This man through Water, Earth, Fire, and Wind jutsu at her like he'd been doing it since he waltzed out of the womb. She hated this guy's crazy, because he was arrogant and had every reason to be. This disease was  _dangerous_.

_Who the hell made it?!_

Panting, Sakura threw a few exploding kunai at the man before flipping over a few branches, on her way to the last place she saw Shikamaru. She turned around and threw several more knives at the man before landing on a tree and slapping multiple exploding tags on its trunk and several of its neighbors. She figured the only way to keep this guy off her was if he was in multiple pieces. Sakura flew through the trees as quickly as possible. She was breathing heavily and dripping sweat, but she couldn't slow down a heartbeat. This guy wanted to kill her and he would if he got his hands on her.

A hand gripping her shoulder caused Sakura to swing around and nail a body in the abdomen with a chakra-infused kick. To her satisfaction, she heard the cracks of at least two ribs. To her dismay, she heard Shikamaru grunt and immediately swiveled around to catch him. Apologizing profusely, she healed him as quickly as she could, on the brink of tears for nearly killing him when she had been  _looking_ for him to  _save_  him. He waved her off after she finished his ribs and healed his sprained wrist and dislocated shoulder. He was in much worse condition than she was. This was evidenced further when she saw his other hand held to his chest. She pried it away from his body without using chakra, and found that he was missing his pinky and ring finger on his left hand.

"From the explosion," he breathed. "I have no idea where the fingers are, but that doesn't matter. I'm not a south-paw anyway." He smiled at her and winced as he stood up.

"These unaffiliates are infected with the Red Death, that's for sure. But's it's not One or Two...it's like a third mutation. Type Three. The disease is literally eating parts of their brain. There's foreign chakra in their system that's multiplying like mad and essentially giving them an endless supply of chakra," Sakura rattled these facts off as quickly as she could, breathing heavily and wiping the sweat off her brow. "We have to get out of here as quickly as possible. We don't stand a chance."

"No kidding," Shikamaru shook his head and looked around with his lazy stare. Despite his injuries, he seemed aloof, but Sakura knew this wasn't the case. He was currently concocting a plan to get all of his team out of here alive, if not in one piece. Actually, he already screwed them over in that respect. "Don't have to tell me twice."

"Hey," Sakura winked at him just before she took off. "Better hurry up, three fingers."

Shikamaru was left with the memory of Sakura sticking her tongue out at him after she disappeared into the trees. He huffed and let his chin fall to his chest. He smiled, shook his head, and followed her.

"Women..."


	4. The Shinobi's Life

**Chapter Three**

**The Shinobi's Life**

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Blood edged its way into Sakura's mouth from the cut on her cheek. She swallowed it instead of fighting it, because she really needed to find Hinata and TenTen. Despite logic screaming otherwise, Sakura hoped they were alive. Sakura and Shikamaru had faced one each, and that was hard enough. How had TenTen faired with two? She was a distance fighter like the unaffiliates, but she only had so many scrolls and so much energy. These guys could do whatever they wanted for as long as they wanted. And had the third moved to her as well? Did they plan on overpowering her, and then to move on to Hinata, picking their team off one by one?

"What happened with the unaffiliate you were fighting?" Sakura asked while she ran alongside Shikamaru.

"He's gone." Sakura nodded at her friend's words. "And the one  _you_  fought?"

"I don't know. I had to get away so I could find you and the others. I set up for some explosions for him, but I'm not sure if he set them off or not."

Sure enough, TenTen was cornered against the side of a small cliff by three unaffiliates. Sakura ground her teeth at the sight and nearly charged right in to rescue her friend from a gruesome death, but Shikamaru caught her arm.

"We need to do this as quietly as possible and catch them off guard. Like you said, we can't do this head to head. There has to be a plan."

With a hard expression, Sakura nodded her assent.

Moments later, Shikamaru was placed high above the scene, on top of the small gray rocks. He planned on using the rocks' elongated shadow and his own extended by the height to catch the shinobi in his Shadow Possession jutsu. Sakura was hidden in the trees, ready to strike as soon as Shikamaru gave the signal. TenTen, oblivious to what was happening around her, threw weapon after weapon at the three unaffiliates. One kama imbedded itself in the thigh of the man whom Sakura had fought. Inwardly, this sight excited her, but she repressed a sadistic smile. She needed to concentrate right now.

Above them, trees were thrown into the sky, clouds of dust billowing after them. No matter what it was, this did not bode well for Sakura and Shikamaru's plan to rescue TenTen. Suddenly, Hinata skidded into the small clearing behind the three unaffiliates on her back. She stopped and lay limp on the ground, unconscious. Sakura sent a brief wave of chakra out to her dark-haired friend to assess her condition. A sharp flash of battered skin and low levels of chakra flared behind her eyes. Hinata would survive this encounter with few scars.

"Hello," a voice like grinding boulders whispered, his breath brushing against the back of her ear.

An arm wrapped around Sakura's neck, but not before she issued a short series of hand signs. He brought his other arm up and snapped the spinal cord in her neck, completely severing it and rendering her clinically decapitated. Just as her head began to fall limp against her shoulder, the image of Sakura exploded into a cloud of opaque dust, revealing a hollow, dead tree branch. Sakura landed a good hit on the side of the man's boney head, throwing him out into the clearing. Before he was fully standing, she pulled her leg up and flung it, chakra-infused, at him. This time, it was his turn to explode into thousands of monarch butterflies.

_So he's a Nature unaffiliate._

Sakura was surprised to see the unrealistically deep voice belonged to the scrawny man before her. She barely had the opportunity to guard against his heavy roundhouse kick. She skidded several feet to the side with her arms up and knees softened, then lunged at him with a kunai and managed to jab it into the back of his knee, but this didn't stop him at all. In fact, it made him even angrier. He roared and pulled both of his fists above his head, then slung them down onto Sakura's arms protecting her head. The bones in her arms banged against each other like tree limbs in a storm, and her knees hit the ground hard under the force of the man's strength.

In swift retaliation, she delivered an uppercut infused with chakra to the man's jaw, and was able to disorient him. Conserving chakra, she threw out her leg in what felt like a naked side kick to his Adam's apple, crushing his windpipe and sending him crashing to the ground behind him. She jumped on top of the man and pulled out two kunai, twirling them around her fingers before shoving them into the skin of his neck. He gagged, choking on blood and a crushed esophagus, and tried to grab Sakura above him, but found nothing but air and the loss of life.

She was lifted into the air in a tight bear hug by a tall and heavyset man behind her. She elbowed him in the side, but he was wearing some form of armor and would be impervious to any blow of hers not fueled by chakra. Happily, she elbowed him once more, but this time the attack was backed up by chakra, and it cracked his armor. He dropped her, and as he did so, he kicked her in the back and sent her to the ground next to the scrawny man she had just killed. She looked over into his glazed eyes with pupils like dinner plates. She couldn't tell what color his eyes were; they were black and ringed with the tiniest fringe of color that she just couldn't make out. She felt a sharp sting in her own eyes that she couldn't place.

Suddenly, that same titanic man was on top of her. He flipped Sakura onto her stomach and thrust her arm up her back, dislocating her shoulder and giving her a spiral fracture, issuing a scream from her. She shoved his nose into his face with the back of her head. He screamed and pulled up from her. Looking over, Sakura saw Shikamaru fighting off a man; he was between the man and Hinata, seeming to protect her unconscious body. But what TenTen was faced with terrified Sakura. She was pinned to the ground by an unaffiliate who was nose to nose with her. Blood from his mouth dripped into hers, causing her to sputter and jerk her head away.

Sakura ran to TenTen's side and had to use chakra to pry the man off her teammate. She dug her fingers into the muscles of his neck and wrapped her fingers around his spine just to lift him off TenTen. She threw him to the side, leaving him to bleed out. She knelt down beside TenTen and immediately pushed her chakra into her system to track the disease she had just been infected with.

"M-Maybe if I expel the contents..."

Nervously, Sakura blindly pushed her chakra into TenTen's stomach and made her vomit. She held her to the side, hoping to get rid of the infection then and there. All TenTen threw up was blood and blood coated food from their breakfast. She sent her chakra into TenTen once more and discovered that her stomach was severely lacerated. Blood was pooling in and acid was falling out. She acted as quickly as possible to patch the wound. Then she began to pull the blood out of TenTen's stomach. She held her down with her elbow, which probably didn't help ease her current discomfort, but Sakura could care less about that. She was dying and Sakura needed to fix that.

"Sakura!"

Sakura looked back as her name was called and saw a kunai flying at her face. She ducked just in time, burying her face in TenTen's bloody shirt. She gripped TenTen's clothes, but forced her shaking hands to move back to pulling the blood out of TenTen's stomach. After several moments, the blood had been fished out and Sakura began to encourage her body to reproduce stomach acids. She moved to the damage done to TenTen's intestines from the acid, and healed all the damage she could find. Whimpering, Sakura looked at TenTen's face and found that her eyes were closed.

"TenTen," Sakura whispered with a trembling lip. She was unconscious, alive, and breathing, but Sakura was still terrified of those still eyes...the unmoving expression...the shallow breaths...it always scared her no matter how many times she faced it in the hospital. No matter how often she faced it, Death was her worst fear.

"Is she alright?" Shikamaru breathed heavily beside Sakura. Behind her, she could see that the last two men had disappeared. Sakura met Shikamaru's black gaze, and Sakura felt a tear slide down her cheek.

"She-She's been infected...I tried to get the blood out...I tried to save her, I really did! But it's...it's too late..." Her voice trailed off quietly as she let her face fall to her chest.

"If only Hinata..." Shikamaru clenched his fists at his sides and squeezed his eyes shut.

Sakura looked back at Hinata, sitting up now with her knees pulled into her chest. She was awake now, her hands shoved into her face, the outline of her shoulders quivering with the force of her shaking. She was sobbing. Because she was guilty. Because she  _knew_  it was her fault.

If only. If only.  _If only..._

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ _  
_  


Before they started moving, Sakura had to pick up the pieces that were their team, and heal everyone. Then, Shikamaru carried TenTen on his back as they began their way to Dakujan. It was mid-afternoon, and they all knew they would have to stop and make camp a couple hours away from their goal. Hopefully Dakujan would have somehow been informed of their absence at any of the boating docks on the western coast and would send out a search party for them. Hopefully help was only a few hours away. Hopefully TenTen would not die before morning. But that was all wishful thinking, and everyone knew TenTen probably wouldn't make it to see the sun again.

"I'm sorry," Hinata whispered from behind them for the thousandth time. As with the first time and every other time after, she was met with a thick wall of silence.

Sakura didn't know if she blamed Hinata or not. Nor did Shikamaru. They were both on the fence as to where the responsibility of TenTen's sickness, and ultimately death, fell. An expectation due to the nature of the mission? Or was someone really responsible? If Hinata had been more capable to face the man she fought before being thrown into the clearing, maybe Shikamaru wouldn't have had to protect her unconscious body. But that was neither here nor there. TenTen had been infected. TenTen would die.

Sakura sat up with TenTen for her entire watch shift. She eased TenTen's pain as much as she could. She healed all of TenTen's wounds, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't extract the foreign chakra in TenTen's system. It was attaching itself to TenTen's chakra and to her white blood cells. She tracked the progression of the disease as well.

On record, there were two mutations the disease could take in its incubation, although Sakura and her team had discovered a third. The first was the most common, where the person bled to death and suffered immense pain from their organs shutting down; the second created mindless, decomposing people; the third was what the four men they fought had that accelerated chakra production and created monstrous fighting machines. The way TenTen bled from unseen wounds, she had Type One R.D.

Singing filled the small clearing they were camping in. Instead of adoring the beauty of the evergreens around them, the orange glow the firelight threw against the bark reminded Sakura of her blood soaked body. It was a terrifying sight and feeling to have TenTen's blood drench her skin, yet somehow remain alive. It was frightening; it was a feeling Sakura couldn't pinpoint, and one she didn't like. The songs didn't help ease the tension of the grieving atmosphere either. If anything, it made the mood more foreboding. They were mourning the death of a friend who was still alive, and everyone knew it. Even TenTen, though Sakura kept telling her everything would be fine. She kept telling her that the bloodloss wasn't as bad as it seemed. She kept telling her that she would make it to the morning, and that at dawn they would run as quickly as possible to Dakujan. That there, where she could receive proper medical attention that did not exist, she would live. She promised her the cure for a disease that no one knew the cause of, or who even created it and why.

Sakura clenched her fists, her hums silenced as she thought of the Akatsuki. Why would they want to kill hundreds of people? What did they gain by loosing this monstrosity on the world? Sakura thought long and hard on this question. It was the only one buzzing around in her head, and drove her to the brink of her sanity. She teetered on the edge of falling insane, and that simple question threatened to push her over the cliff. _Why? What did they gain?_  It broke her heart that so many people would suffer like TenTen before dying a gruesome and painful death. How did that have any meaning? How did Akatsuki gain anything from the deaths of random civilians?

But Akatsuki wasn't the only suspect, not so soon in the investigation. Blood was a good candidate for the creator of this disease. As Shikamaru said, they were sophisticated. The first outbreaks of the disease had occurred in the southern island countries, which Blood was currently having a political temper tantrum with. It was all over land, resources, rights inherited from ancestors, and customs surrounding island culture. They were far enough removed from the mainland countries to have developed their own culture foreign to anything Sakura was familiar with, though she had studied Lemon, Orange, and Nature, and Blood because of politics.

Blood was economically on par with Wind. They were nearly self-sufficient, although their island lacked necessary resources to thrive without the help of its neighbors; this was also another reason for their arguments with the Island Council. Blood was a fighting country that demanded strength, determination, perseverance, independence, and brute force of every single one of its people. Civilians and shinobi alike, everyone was hardy and thick-headed; Tsunade's words verbatim. But none of that meant that Blood would be willing to decimate the human race. They wanted the islands on Wind's southern coast line, and the islands North and East of the Unforgiven Sea. And Blood was the only one who thought that was a good idea.

After Sakura's watch, it was Hinata's turn. Shikamaru and Sakura were both hesitant to allow her to do this, but they thought it would be a bad idea to add insult to injury in this instance. It was unlikely that they would be attacked again tonight. So, everyone fell into a shifty sleep that wasn't ideal. She dreamed a little, things she couldn't exactly remember. She could put her finger on the idea of her dream, but what actually happened escaped her. She hated those types of dreams, because there was an endless possibility of what could have happened to her unconscious mind. She decided that she would rather have an unremembered dream over being waken up to Hinata's desperate screams any day, though.

"Sakura, Shikamaru! Wake up, come on!" Hinata shook Sakura, then Shikamaru.

"What is it?" Shikamaru mumbled as he stood up. Sakura watched them through sleep-lidded eyes.

"Two chakra signatures. Same as earlier today." Hinata was shaking again, looking with fear at the thick evergreens around them.

"Damn it," Sakura grumbled, moving to Shikamaru's side. "We need to move Te-" As Sakura swiveled around to face TenTen, what she felt with her chakra froze her blood. There was no chakra signature radiating from TenTen's body.

"Sakura, what's wrong?" Shikamaru registered the pallid tint of Sakura's face and its cause immediately. "No. No, she's not-  _she is not_ -"

"We have to move!" Sakura ordered. "Before they get here. How far away are they?"

"Five miles and closing in fast," Hinata whispered quickly. Sakura nodded her head and turned to Shikamaru, but saw that he was missing. She looked over at TenTen and saw him shaking her arm.

"TenTen, wake up. We have to get out of here. Come on, damn it!"

Seeing Shikamaru crack like that tightened Sakura's throat with terrifying strength. She could hardly breathe at the sight of Shikamaru begging TenTen's corpse to move. She imagined if he was a puppet master, he would have moved her body himself to further convince himself she was still alive. It was sick, and at the same time it was heartbreaking. He couldn't cope with her death. Faced with it constantly, Sakura was able to at least accept it, even if it scared her. She knew the line between life and death clearly. Right now, for Shikamaru, that line didn't exist.

"Shikamaru, there's nothing we can do for her. We need to get out of here as quickly as possible, and she would just slow us down." Shikamaru swiveled around and shoved Sakura away with teary eyes. He was infuriated.

"How can you say that about her, Sakura?" His voice was deadly quiet, which was much worse than if he had screamed at her.

"Shika-" Sakura cut herself off, and shook her head, face contorted. There was no convincing him. She just needed to incapacitate him and drag him to Dakujan herself. "I'm sorry, but-"

"They're almost here!" Hinata screamed.

" _I got that, Hinata_ ," Sakura ground out, then held Shikamaru's gaze. "I'm sorry. I have to do this." She moved to hit him, but a cry for help behind her stopped her dead in her tracks. Hinata had been tackled by the taller of the two unaffiliates. "Hinata! Shit!"

Sakura turned around to tear the guy off her, but the second one she hadn't paid attention to flew into her and pinned her against a tree. His left arm pressed hard into her neck; the other held a kunai to her right eye. She sputtered and reached up to pry his arm away, but his arm was securely in place. His strength was superior to her enhanced strength. Kicking him wasn't an option, either. His hip was pressed into hers and he was holding her other foot down with his own. She couldn't move a muscle in her body, and the kunai shakily covering the small distance between them hovered dangerously close in front of her face.

"Shi-ka-maru-" Sakura gagged out her teammate's name, but all she heard in response was his plea for TenTen to wake up.

She squeezed her eyes shut, afraid to watch the blade enter her eye. She was afraid to watch herself die. She prayed to whatever god was watching them right now, that whoever it was had enough mercy to spare their lives in exchange for those attacking them. What had they done? What had Sakura, Hinata, Shikamaru,  _TenTen_  done to deserve the fate they were dealt? Why were these men senselessly after them? Had they been hired, or was it pure coincidence? She hated whatever god did exist. How could such a cruel coincidence exist and be justified? She cursed under her breath and opened her eyes in time to see the kunai blade begin to slip inside of her enlarged and trembling pupil.

It was excruciating. Pure, untainted agony. The blade slipped seamlessly into her eye like it was a perfect fit, like it was meant to happen that way. It was like her eye was made to be taken away from her in the most horrible way possible. She screamed and wanted to shake her head, but knew that would only worsen the damage. With some horrific amount of willpower, she was absolutely inert, but screamed as loudly as she could. The throttling of her uvula was the only release she could imagine in this moment.

The tip of the kunai cut even deeper into her eye, to the point where Sakura knew she could never come back with her full sight ever again. She felt the blood and tears mingle as they slid down her red cheek. A clear, yellow substance spilled out of the gouge the kunai created. The man pinning her against the tree lapped up the mess of liquid on her cheeks and laughed. That was the moment. That was the man's mistake. He paused, laughed,  _enjoyed her pain_. He shouldn't have done that, or else Sakura would have been wholly his.

"Ba-star-d!" She bellowed, using all of the chakra she could come up with to push him off her and deliver a bone-crushing back fist to his cheekbone. She heard as much as she felt the crunch against the back of her hand. The sound was the most satisfying thing she had experienced in many hours.

The man fell onto his back and grasped at his cheek. Sakura was in no mood for martial etiquette, and stomped on his chest with as much natural and chakra infused strength as she could muster. He died instantly, which didn't satisfy her in the least, but at least he wouldn't kill her now. She breathed heavily, comforting herself with the thought that he had died and she would live if she managed to fight through this one last opponent. The man looked over his shoulder from Hinata's twirling form before him, and blanched at the sight of his comrade, dead behind her. He smirked and moved through the trees around them so she would lose sight of him.

"Wait, no...Shikamaru!"

Before she got his full name out, the man had sunk a kunai deep into Shikamaru's side. He looked back at Sakura, smirked, and motioned for her to come forward. Sakura watched Shikamaru fall to the ground beside TenTen. He had been unwilling to abandon his dead comrade. He had wanted to protect her corpse. He was dedicated to her, even in death. This was his team, after all. In his mind, he died protecting those he loved. In his mind, he didn't regret a thing. In Sakura's mind, she cursed Shikamaru's lapse of sanity, but sent her love out to him. He was determined, she'd give him that.

The fight with the second man went much faster than the one with the first had. Hinata helped her by stopping his chakra. This was enough to rupture several of his chakra veins, burning his insides with the energy. This was the quickest and easiest way to defeat a Type Three R.D. victim. Even though his chakra continued to multiply, there was no where for his chakra to go but into his physical body. This unexpended energy burned him from the inside out. With an easy blow to the back of his head, Sakura made sure he didn't suffer much. To her chagrin.

She ran, tears streaming, to Shikamaru's side. He was gagging on blood, much of the red liquid already pooling around his heaving body. Sakura sent her chakra into his body to see the damage, and she fell back on to her haunches at the sight. No matter what she did, he would die. But she couldn't accept this.

"Shikamaru, stay with me! Do you hear me? Shikamaru! Open your eyes! Talk to me! You have to talk to me!"

Sakura shoved her hands onto his bleeding stomach, covering them in blood as she sent her healing power into his body. She tried as hard as she could to close the gaping wound. Blood wouldn't spill out anymore, it would simply catch in his abdomen. She had to heal the blood vessels that had been severed and the major damage that had been done to his intestines. She looked up and saw his eyelashes fluttering shut, but she screamed at him to keep them open. She begged him to look at her eyes, to make eye contact, to speak to her. He didn't say a word to her. He just died gasping for air through the blood pooling in his lung. Sakura healed that, too, after she fixed all of the damage in his abdomen.

"SHIKAMARU!"

Sakura grabbed his face with her bloody hands and shook him. She shook him as hard as she could, begging his blood-coated face to wake up and speak to her. She demanded that he look at her, that he shouldn't be so lazy. She needed him to show her that he was okay so they could start moving. He didn't listen to her. He just kept lying there in her arms, looking at the starry night sky above them. She would never forget that look- his hazy black eyes, all pupil, his mouth slightly open as if it was the door for his soul to pour out of his body. Sakura buried her face in his chest and sobbed heavily.

There had been life in that body moments before. There had been light in those eyes the last time she looked at them. Where did it go? Where did Shikamaru go? He wasn't in her lap anymore. He was gone. Sakura looked over at her other dead teammate. He was gone just like TenTen. She screamed into the cold air and grabbed her hair with her bloody hands, then tore at her face.

She had failed them! She had failed her team. She hadn't been able to keep them alive. They had died protecting her, and what had she given them in return? Tears, regret, and a life not worth living. It was as much her fault as it was Hinata's that Shikamaru and TenTen had died. Hinata may have been the catalyst for their untimely deaths, but Sakura had the ability to bring them back from the brink. In her hands, she had the ability save life. But not these lives.

Not Shikamaru and TenTen.

"I-I'll carry TenTen," Hinata said breathlessly, leaning against a tree. Sakura looked up at her teammate's tear-stained face. She was trembling and staring wide-eyed at the gory sight before her.

"What the hell, Hinata? What are you talking about?" Sakura's voice was ruthless and cold. In that moment, she hated Hinata more than anything in the world. Even herself.

"We can't leave them here. Sin-Since there's no chance of us getting infected, we can continue the mission to the-the docks and-"

"Wait. You actually want to keep going to the docks from here, and to Orange?" Hinata nodded her head at Sakura's words. Sakura was left silent for several seconds. "That's not fucking happening, Hinata! They died. We're all that's left of Team Shikamaru. We have to go back to Dakujan,  _now_ , or we'll die, too!" More tears streaked Sakura's face as she said Shikamaru's name. She could scarcely imagine never hearing his calm voice again. What was it he said? Responsibility is an irrevocable possession? To be proud of having at least that much? Their  _deaths_  were her irrevocable possession.

"Sakura, yo-you're willing to give up the mission so quickly?"

" _Half of our team is dead, Hinata._  There's not much of a mission left. You all were my body guard to Orange. Guess what.  _You_  didn't do much guarding!" Sakura took the few long strides to Hinata's side and poked her hard in the chest. Her friend winced at her words, but Sakura couldn't care less. She wanted to cause her pain. " _They_  actually protected me! You didn't, Hinata. In fact, you hindered the group. You're the one who got TenTen killed, because you couldn't take care of yourself. So Shikamaru refused to leave her side. She was  _dead_  and he couldn't accept that! It's your fault- both of their deaths are!" Sakura did her best to push the responsibility of her teammates' deaths on Hinata, but it didn't work. She still blamed herself. She still knew it was her fault in the end. She was the medic, after all. The chosen medic.

Sakura broke down after that. She fell to her knees and held her face in her hands. She screamed and sobbed and cried and begged, and hit the ground as hard as she could. But that wasn't enough damage. She needed to drain herself so she couldn't cry anymore, she wouldn't have the energy to do anything but run. She jumped to her feet and flew across the ground to the nearest tree. With pure fury, she tore the tree from its roots and swung it around the small area of forest, felling tree after tree. Birds cried out and flew from their decimated homes. But their trauma could never match that of Sakura's.

Exhausted, she fell to her knees once again, panting, face caked with dry blood, tears, sweat, and the substance of her eye. In all of the madness she had forgotten that she was half-blind and that her body was torn to shreds. She wouldn't heal before they went to Dakujan, though. She wanted to hurt. She needed the pain to concentrate on something other than the fact that they were going to leave their teammates' bodies behind so they could escape more easily from the next ambush. She stood up, rubbed her dirty face with the top of her arm, and glared at Hinata with hate-filled eyes.

"Let's go," she said in a hard voice.

Hinata nodded and followed silently.


	5. A Hollow Chest

**Chapter Four**

**A Hollow Chest**

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Sakura and Hinata didn’t sleep in camp that night. In fact, they left as quickly as possible. They fled from the gruesome scene behind them, but it would never really leave their minds. They would never really leave that clearing. They would always have Shikamaru and TenTen’s deaths on their hearts. On their hands. This horrible reality was Sakura’s irrevocable possession. But through the evergreen forests of Nature, Sakura was able to disown everything. She was numb. She didn’t know why the needle like branches that cut her arms didn’t hurt. She looked down, saw the blood, but it was like it wasn’t really there. It was like none of it was actually happening. Had any of it happened? Or was it all just some screwed up nightmare?

No matter the case, all was well in Sakura’s current state of mind. Time blurred to a fast-paced eternity, something comfortable to slip into. She fell into the blurry haze of green and brown and black. She fell into the humming of the wind in her ears. The caked blood tugged at her skin, but she didn’t mind. She didn’t feel anything, so it was simply a twisted form of second-rate entertainment.

Too quickly, they reached Dakujan after what felt like days. At the gates, the guards gasped at the sight of the two bloodied and battered girls. The village seemed to come alive at their return, even though it was pre-dawn. People were terrified that the Leaf Shinobi they had hired to help stop the Red Death were now bringing it into their very homes. Sakura wished it would scare them enough so they would kill her. She didn’t want the one possession she had right now (their deaths- every other thought was riddled with their bloody demise). Unable to respond to any questions the guards at the gate asked, Hinata reluctantly took over as speaker of the two. It didn’t take much to convince them they needed medical attention, and that a search party was required to recover the bodies of their dead friends. They looked the part of the defeated and cowardly shinobi.

As much as Sakura would like to say she couldn’t really remember anything that happened that night, it was all too clear. She wouldn’t forget anything that happened in those hours before she slept. It wasn’t natural sleep, either. She was having a panic attack and had to be sedated. She remembered that panic attack the most. Shikamaru had tapped on her arm and asked her why she owned his death. He asked her why she let it happen.

_If you would have started with the lung,_ he begged, _I would still be alive._

He brushed her matted hair behind her ear and asked if she would try harder to save him next time. TenTen spoke up then, wondering why Sakura hadn’t tried harder. She supplied her with a few choice curses and medical tips, but Sakura was hardly able to listen. She screamed and begged for them to leave her alone. When TenTen refused, Sakura asked if she wanted her life as repayment. _That will never suffice._ That’s when the nurses stuck the needle in her arm.

Waking up that next morning was unlike anything Sakura had ever experienced before. She was terrified Shikamaru or TenTen would return to haunt her. Her heart pounded so loudly she thought it was entirely audible without a stethoscope. She jumped every time the door opened or heard a natural noise outside. It was truly a beautiful day that morning. There were a few trace clouds in the sky, but otherwise it was as blue as Naruto’s eyes, though it lacked the life of her best friend’s. Her head felt heavy and foggy, and she figured she was running a fever. Because the doctors were afraid they may have contracted R.D., Sakura and Hinata both were placed in quarantine for a week until it was certain they were clean. Sakura was simply experiencing the reality of mind over matter. She was making herself sick with guilt, the lack of sleep, and malnourishment. She felt it impossible to stomach anything thicker than gelatin, which the nurses had to coax her to down to begin with.

That week in quarantine was terrible. The only injury given care was her eye, and that was less than what it should have been. They frequently disinfected it and changed the bandages, but everyone was too afraid to expose themselves to her for too long to get any real healing done. Sakura refused to do it herself. She barely let them work on her eye to begin with, tempted to let it become infected and allow herself to die, but she knew that would be ridiculous; Naruto would kill her if she let herself die like this. In a foreign country. Alone. Without apologizing.

A few days into quarantine, Sakura was informed that Shikamaru and TenTen’s bodies had been safely returned to Konoha. Tsunade was holding off the joint funeral until their return. Sakura just watched the nurse as she said all of this, wrapping the fresh bandage around her head.

Adjusting to one-eyed sight was uncomfortable and occasionally nauseating. She had to really turn her head around if she wanted to glance at the clock on her right. A nurse moved it to the left side of the room shortly thereafter without her consent. Walking was wearisome. She often lost her balance and had to lurch for the objects around her to keep from falling flat on her face. Once, she let herself fall just to see what it was like. She was just curious. And she also felt like hurting. Re-fracturing her arm hadn’t been good for her patient status. She wasn’t allowed to move around unless a nurse or doctor was with her for the duration of her stay.

Thankfully, Sakura and Hinata were able to escort themselves to Konoha at the end of the week long quarantine. Sakura wished she had an interest in the medical scrolls she had brought to ease her boredom, but they all screamed of her failures as a medical ninja. _You should have done this…that…if only you would have…maybe this wouldn’t have happened if…_ That’s all her scrolls told her anymore. What if’s and if only’s. Her dreams were riddled with blood, explosions, sadistic killers, Shikamaru, TenTen, and herself killing her teammates. So instead of resting her head on her pillow at night, she would sit up against a wall and stare at the dust motes the lamplight cast into existence. They danced around the room, emotionless, much better-off than a sentient Sakura.

Making conversation at dinnertime proved more difficult than Sakura didn’t even imagine. She fleetingly wondered if she should say something consoling to Hinata, but they were in the same boat so she cast this thought away. They both had blood on their hands, and nothing- absolutely nothing on God’s green earth would ever change that fact. They were both forever screwed over because neither was strong enough to save and protect their teammates. They were both ashamed of themselves. So much so, even their self-imposed isolation did little to ease their social discomfort.

The gulf was cold and dark, the sky no different. A storm was brewing in the south, a force that would damage unprotected villages. Konoha might flood at the very worst, but there was little chance of that. Sakura hated looking outside. It reminded her too much of real life, of what she was facing daily. She was compressed energy, threatening and begging at the same time to burst at the seams.  But she repressed these feelings, believing her breakdown in the forest so many nights ago to be all the release she needed. She just had to distance herself from Nature through time and space, and she would be fine. Even if Shikamaru and TenTen would be buried in Konoha, forever remembered there, it was not where they died. Nature was eternally burned in her mind, a huge gaping scar on any map she looked at.

They hit the northern tip of Kawa Pass, that same port all four of Team Shikamaru had passed through a little under two weeks ago. They had passed through a second time, yes, but as dead men. Not with beating hearts and lively eyes. But with still bodies and eerie silence. It was hard to look at the docks of the tiny village. She was terribly pained when she looked at the different stands they all had stopped at on their way to the docks. Sakura had rushed them through that one, there. She was agitated with their slow pace. At least look at something interesting, she had complained.

_At least forgive me_ , she cried.

The journey through southern Fire was now taken at a much slower pace. They walked through the vast forests, even taking their time when walking along the eastern shore of Fire Lake. The acrid smell of sulfur nearly had a texture in the air around them. Sakura could feel the disgusting odor as it burned her nostrils and clouded her head with its overpowering stench. However, neither kunoichi voiced their discomfort. This was the quickest route to Tanzaku, a city a mere three hours south of Konoha. In Tanzaku, they would have a meal where no one would eat more than half of what they bought, and send a hawk to Konoha, telling of their impending arrival.

Those last three hours were the most excruciating. Sakura’s feet felt like they were about to split open. Her shoulder, still cracking from her injuries despite whatever the doctors did, was sore to the point that she held her arm to her chest. Her right eye was throbbing, and she had to send her chakra through the blood vessels and encourage proper blood circulation to receive the necessary amount of nutrients for her eye to function properly without bleeding.

Not soon enough, they saw Konoha’s walls on the horizon. The dirt road they were walking on seemed never ending, and Sakura couldn’t stand it. She just wanted to hole up in her bedroom, in the dark, in the cold, under the blankets, then go to sleep and never wake up. Impatiently, she tapped her fingers against her stomach, concentrating on the village walls, as if this would speed up their approach.

The construction from Orochimaru’s last visit to the village had been completed a year ago, but the rubble had remained due to the laziness of the workers. However, Sakura was relieved, in some deep crevice of her mind, to see that the remnants of the old wall had finally been cleared from the outside of the village during her trip to Nature. Her _failed_ trip to Nature. Sakura decided then that thinking should be kept to a minimum, else she fall prey to harmful thoughts.

In the last few hundred yards to the village gates, Sakura and Hinata passed by three genin and their accompanying jounin. They were in basic position to protect the old woman they surrounded- probably some spoiled Daimyo wife demanding the uppermost guard of Konoha…and getting zilch for it but a cadet squad. Sakura did her best to smile at the children that passed her (she found it odd that people no more than five years younger than her she referred to as children), but that only served to intimidate them. Did she really look that grim? With a dirty bandage wrapped around her head, arm held tightly to her chest, and clothes torn like she’d just ran through a thorn bush, she didn’t really blame them.

“My condolences,” the jounin whispered, smiling empathetically to the two kunoichi. No doubt he’d lost a comrade or two himself, but his words did nothing to ease Sakura’s pain.

Beyond this encounter, time went by much more quickly than Sakura was comfortable with, even though she had wished for it in the beginning. At first, she was passing through the gates, stared at by every pair of eyes that caught her in their peripheral, and then she was walking down the main merchant street in Konoha, worried that she would run into Naruto at any moment- this she wanted least of all: she was ashamed of herself, humiliated with her performance as a shinobi. Just as quickly, she was walking up the stairs on the side of the Hokage Tower, hands trembling and eyes stinging with tears. These salty, unshed tears burned her wounded eye badly, but she would much rather have felt that pain everyday then go through another kunai slicing her eye open.

Hesitantly, she knocked on Tsunade’s door, hoping with some insane hope that she was somehow magically preoccupied and would not be present to hear her mission report.

“Enter,” called Tsunade’s tired voice through the metal door.

It wasn’t as scary as Shikamaru’s deadly quiet whisper questioning her motives, but her master’s voice was frightening nonetheless because of its existence. She swallowed the hard, thick lump in her throat, and pushed her way into Tsunade’s office.

She was met with stunned silence. Obviously, Tsunade hadn’t been expecting her student to waltz into her office so suddenly. But it had happened, and Tsunade wasn’t sure how to handle herself. Half of Team Shikamaru had returned. In hindsight, it was as if the Hokage had sent her jounin on a suicide mission. Tsunade’s mouth fell open the slightest inch, and her honey-colored eyes widened with shock, love, fear, and anxiety all somehow wrapped up into one expression. The sight made Sakura’s stomach churn. She thought she would be sick.

“Sakura,” she said breathlessly. She stood from her desk, not caring about the fact that her chair had been shoved against the wall behind her with a clatter, or that several papers and scrolls fell off the desk as she slapped down both her hands on the messy surface. She leaned over her wooden workspace, held Sakura’s eye contact for a long while, and then spoke. “I wouldn’t have believed you were alive unless I saw it for myself.”

“Lady Tsu-”

Before Sakura could fully get her master’s name out, the blond woman was standing in front of her with a fierce expression. This was it. This was the horrible scolding she had been waiting for. Sakura closed her eyes and dropped her head. Her face was pinched with internal agony, and tears threatened to spill from her one exposed eye.

“I am proud of the way you handled the outcome of this mission. I could not have asked for better conduct…from either of you.” Tsunade moved to meet Hinata’s sad, guilty gaze. “Hinata, look at me…you did well.” The Hokage smiled at her junior, and then looked at Sakura once more.

“Lady Tsunade, I’m so sor-”

“No matter how many times you apologize, Sakura, it will not change the fact that there is nothing for you to apologize for.”

“Of course there is! _I_ was the standing medical ninja. I should have been able to heal Shikamaru. His injuries were-”

“Fatal, as I have been informed by the medics that examined his body,” Tsunade said this quietly, hoping to soften the blow it had on Sakura, but the gesture was futile. “You shouldn’t torture yourself with what ifs, Sakura. What happened, happened. There’s nothing you could have done to change the outcome of the mission. Aside from that, it’s in the past. Leave it there, and move on.” Tsunade put a hand on Sakura’s shoulder and pressed her forehead against her student’s.

Sakura clenched her fists tightly, shaking with her self-hatred. She hated that Tsunade was patronizing her, pitying her, _lying through her teeth_ to her.  If there wasn’t a mission report to recant, she would have bolted from the office right then. If Tsunade wasn’t her master, she would’ve shoved her away and bit her head off. If Sakura would’ve had the choice, she wouldn’t have returned to Konoha.

“Now, the mission report,” Tsunade began as she sat behind her desk once more. “I imagine the journey to southwestern Tea went well?” Tsunade raised an eyebrow with her question.

“Yes. We reached the port village in three days.” She began to explain the discovery of the third mutation. Shortly after finishing this, the door behind them banged open.

“Sakura! Sakura, you’re back! One of the gate guards just told me and-” As soon as Naruto took in Sakura’s haggard form, his exuberant smile fell to a horrified frown. “Grandma Tsunade, you said she was fine, you said-”

“Naruto,” Sakura said in a shaking whisper.

Why did he have to show up now? Why did he have to be so excited for her return? Didn’t he know Shikamaru and TenTen’s deaths were her fault? Didn’t he want to yell at her, blame her, demand an explanation as to why half her team was dead? But no, instead he hugged her. Instead, he held her tighter than he ever had before. He sniffled, but didn’t cry. When he pulled back, still holding firm to her shoulders, his eyes took in her entire image. Her hair was ruffled, bunched up around the lop-sided bandage circling her head. She was scratched up, scarred, and not to mention dirty, stinky, and sweaty because of the long walk from the coast without bathing in quite some time.

“What happened?” His voice cracked, knowing how the story went. But he wanted to hear it from her.

Sakura slowly turned around and began the mission report, but somewhere along the way, Hinata picked up her slack and finished. It was so painful having to relive the actions that led to her teammates’ deaths. It was so painful having to walk through Nature with them again, knowing they wouldn’t walk out together. It was so painful knowing that Shikamaru and TenTen would never pass through the Konoha gates ever again, never return home. Eventually, after the tragic tale had been told in heartrending detail, Tsunade’s office was left in a chilling silence.

“So, TenTen and Shikamaru…” Naruto began his sentence, but let it drop off.

“Are dead,” Sakura finished with a dry, cracking tone.

A gasp from the window to Sakura’s left caught everyone’s attention. Looking over, she saw Neji sitting in the windowsill, con ANBU getup. His expression was stoic and controlled as his eyes raked over the people in the room. How long had he been crouched in the window? How much had he heard, aside from the obvious? Neji would hate her; he would know it was her weaknesses and ultimately _her_ as a weakness that brought about his teammate and friend’s death. He knew she was responsible. Their blood was on her hands, and he would want retribution. But as quickly as everyone realized he was there, he disappeared like he had never been there in the first place. Hinata moved to chase after him, but Tsunade bid her stay.

“Funeral services for Shikamaru and TenTen will be held tonight at six.” Tsunade looked at Sakura, Hinata, and Naruto one last time before giving them all an empathetic look. Much similar to the one of the jounin Sakura and Hinata had passed on their way to Konoha. “You’re all dismissed.”

They each bowed, and Hinata left first, quickly, presumably to find her older cousin and confront him. Sakura thought about catching her and telling her that wasn’t the wisest decision under the circumstances, but Tsunade calling her and Naruto’s name stopped her. She turned around and shamefully faced her master.

“Naruto, escort her home,” she said softly.

“Yes, ma’am,” he nodded with understanding.

Sakura glared, but not at Tsunade or Naruto. At herself. It was obvious that she was as fragile as porcelain, worse off than Hinata. She needed to be monitored, and there was nothing she could do about it. No matter how much she plead with Naruto, he wouldn’t leave. He even forced her to help him cook with ingredients he called her to help him gather from his apartment. She wasn’t allowed to go to her bedroom, either. She had to stay in the living room with Naruto and watch crappy B-rated movies. After there was nothing left on the TV but revolting, ancient romances, they started to play a random board game.

“Hey, Sakura, I think it’s time we started getting ready.” Naruto nudged her shoulder as he rose from his position on the floor. She looked up at him, oblivious to his meaning.

“What are you talking about?”

“Th-The funeral-” it was hard even for Naruto to speak about their deaths- “it starts at six, remember? So-”

“I’m not going,” Sakura said simply, tossing the dotted cubes across the shiny board on her coffee table. Naruto snatched the die up before they settled, and glared at Sakura.

“You can’t be serious,” he ground out.

“I’m…I am,” she emphasized by slowly moving her head as she spoke. She was about to say something she shouldn’t have…something that would have brought on more pain. “I’m not going, and that’s final.”

“You _will_ go to their funeral. You have to. You have to respect their memory, Sakura.” Naruto’s voice started out angry, but ended in a softer tone. He knew she was under a lot of stress, but he thought this behavior was ridiculous.

“ _I will not,_ ” she responded harshly. She looked up at Naruto with dimly lit eyes, firm in her decision. Naruto was silent, but shaking with his anger and disappointment in her. The grainy remains of the die he once held slipped out of a slit in the skin of his fist.

“You’re acting stupid, Sakura! This is so- ragh! You need to pay their memory respect. You need to honor them, say good-bye.” It was hard for Naruto not to growl his words out at her. He was doing his best to restrain himself.

“I already said good-bye, Naruto! I said good-bye when I cried over their dead bodies; when I buried my face in their bloody clothes; when I kissed their foreheads good-bye, because they’d slow us down in our retreat to Dakujan.” Sakura finished in a tearful whisper, now on her feet and her fists clenched at her sides. Both shinobi were quaking in their anger, red-faced, and unwilling to change their mind on their positions.

“I. Don’t. Care. You need to put this behind you. You need closure. You need the last time you see them to be smiling pictures, not a gory battlefield!” Naruto took a step forward, tempted to grab her by the shoulders and shake sense into her, but he knew that would only make the situation worse. “Look, Sakura, I know you’re hurting. I know you were there and all and I know you saw them…but they were my friends, too. _I knew them just like you did._ I relied on them for safety in all sorts of life threatening situations. We needed each other to survive! You think I’m doing this just to put you in some sucky position? Hell no, Sakura! I feel like balling up in my room and crying right now, but guess what? _I won’t._ That’s not honoring them. That’s not remembering all of the good things they did. That’s unwarranted self-pity that has no place in anyone’s life. _Including yours!_ ” He finished with pointing his finger at her, and breathing heavily.

There was a cold silence as Sakura panted just as heavily as Naruto. She was beyond furious. _How dare_ he speak to her like that? Was he actually comparing their grief right now? It was her fault they were going to a funeral right now. It was her fault that Naruto felt like crying right now. It was her fault Hinata was chasing after Neji, torturing herself with apologies that could never truly be accepted. It was all her fault, and Naruto thought he understood how she felt? Sakura nearly slapped him right then, but that wouldn’t have been enough. That could never be enough. Unlike what she would have done in a more light-hearted situation, she just clenched her fists at her sides. But in the end, Sakura couldn’t hold her silence. She never could.

“How the hell can you compare how we feel, Naruto? Do you know what it’s like to cause a friend’s death? To sit by while they hemorrhage, and seize, and gag on their own blood, and have the power to save them, _but_ _can’t?_ Do you know what that’s like? Tell me, Naruto. When was the last time you were in that position, huh? I COULD HAVE SAVED THEM!!” She ended her rant by grabbing her scalp and screaming at the wooden floor.

She dug her heels into both eyes, not caring that one of them bled or that both of them shed burning tears. That didn’t matter. All that mattered was that she was in possession of the deaths of two close friends. No more mental challenges from Shikamaru…no weapons training with TenTen like they had been perpetually planning for a year and a half now. It was all over. Because of her. “It’s all my fault, Naruto. You don’t understand that.” She finished in a wet whisper, tears gliding down her red face.

“Sakura. Stop. You’re hurting yourself.”

Naruto was quiet as he slowly stepped forward and grabbed her wrists, pulling her hands away from her eyes. Unlike with Shikamaru, her natural strength wasn’t superior to his, and she couldn’t overpower his hold. She was too exhausted, too drained to use any chakra without fainting. He left her hands at her sides and held her face in his gentle grip. Pulling her chin up, he met her emerald gaze. His cerulean eyes were soft and dancing with the candlelight in the living room. He wore a sad frown on his face, a regretful one. It was the one he used when he was guilty.

“Who made you think that?” His voice was a rough whisper, a sad one that begged Sakura to be okay again.

“It’s just the truth,” she said and looked away from his gaze. It was painful to meet his eyes. She caused him all of this pain, but he wouldn’t let her know that. He was patronizing her, pitying her, lying to her. Lying, everyone was lying.

“It is not. Listen, Sakura,” he began with a tired whisper, but Sakura wouldn’t let him finish.

“No, you listen, Naruto. I won’t go to the funeral. I just won’t.”

Silence. Naruto was beginning to understand that Sakura wasn’t going to change her mind. He sighed, let go of her face, and stepped back. Nodding his head and looking back up at her, he gave her a sad smile before speaking again.

“Alright. I’ll be back afterwards; I’m staying here for…a while.”

“Na-”

“Absolutely no changing my mind there. Aside from me going to Shikamaru and TenTen’s funeral, I am not leaving you alone. I don’t want you doing anything stupid, alright?” He gave her a playful, but sad smile, and went to retrieve a first aid kit in her bathroom to patch up her eye before he left.

After he was satisfied her eye had stopped bleeding, he finally made his way to leave. As he raised his hand to open Sakura’s door, he felt her arms wrap tightly around his waist. Her face was buried in his back, and she was sobbing.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

Sakura lay in bed after he left, curled in a ball, facing away from the window. Shikamaru and TenTen were with her, sitting side by side at her legs. They spoke to her in hushed tones, asking her if she was happy now that she was in her warm, comfortable bed. Shikamaru pushed the stray hair that had fallen across her cheek behind her ear once again, telling her everything would be fine if she would just join them. There was no changing the past, TenTen consoled, but the future was well in her control. They sat with her until long after she fell into an uncomfortable sleep. Sakura felt their presence in her bones, and it made her insides twist and coil and come alive with fire. Why did she need to have smiling pictures to remember them by when they were constantly _with_ her?

The sun set outside, a symbol used for every funeral in Konoha. It was tradition to hold a funeral at sunset, no matter the weather. The setting sun meant the dead’s soul would be safely taken away to the afterlife, a comforting sight for every person in Konoha. After the sunset, when it was believed the person was truly gone from the face of the earth, they held the service under starlight. When the full moon was shining high in the starry sky, Sakura squeezed her eyes shut, clenched the sheets in front of her, and shook with the force of her sobs. The celebration of Shikamaru and TenTen’s life was over now. At that moment, when the night was the most quiet, the singing began. No matter how many pillows Sakura put over her head, the song seemed to flow into her very being, taunting her with their deaths.

_“Sha-ll we gather at the ri-ver where bright angel feet trod, with the crystal tide fore-ver flowing by the throne of God? Ye-s, we’ll gather at the ri-ver- the beautiful, the beautiful ri-ver. Gather with the saints at the ri-ver that flows by the throne of God…”_

She fell asleep to Shikamaru and TenTen singing to her.


	6. Taking a Step

**Chapter Five**

**Taking a Step**

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Sakura woke up in a cold sweat, believing the four unaffiliates had just slaughtered Naruto in her living room and were walking toward her bedroom door to attack her next. She stared at the curtain of light cast by the crack beneath the door, imagining the shadows to be brute men dancing their way down the wooden hallway.  She was breathing so fast, more frightened than she had been in a long time that it burned her chest. Her heart felt like it was constricting her blood flow. All the sound that filled her bedroom was her heavy breathing, her heartbeat, and the horrible, soft treading of the evil men’s footsteps.

“Naruto! Naruto!” She tore at her blankets and screamed for Naruto to help her, even though she though she knew he was dead.

A mere second later, he was at her side, consoling her, telling her to calm down; he smoothed her hair back, and held her to his chest, though she fought against him at first. Fleetingly, she thought he was the man who had stolen her eye from her. But that thought fell away as quickly as Naruto had appeared. Only Naruto could hold her as tightly as he did. Only Naruto could speak as kindly as he did. Only Naruto could be there as he was. She cried into his neck, clinging to him like a child. After upward to an hour, he set Sakura’s sleeping form against her soft mattress, and set up blankets on the floor at her side to stay the night in her room.

Sakura woke up the next morning sweating, tasting the horrific dream she had suffered from on the tip of her tongue, but unable to recall exactly what had happened in it. Her room was bathed in a sweet white light that was warm and inviting. Her room was well-lit, the blankets surrounding her were warm, and the pillow beneath her head was soft. But she didn’t feel welcome. She felt like a stranger in her own home. She felt uncomfortable in her own body. She wanted to claw the pallid skin off her and crawl right out of the shell of the person she was supposed to be. Looking down to her right, she saw Naruto working on a large snot bubble. She hated herself more than she ever had before in that moment. This sweet, sweet boy…he was suffering because of her. He was grieving because of her.

Quietly, Sakura exited her bedroom without waking Naruto and began to make breakfast in thanks. She wanted to make him something that he would love without a doubt, which wasn’t hard to come up with. She dressed (which consisted of an angled bandana headband that covered her right eye; she abandoned her braid for this new look, leaving her hair to fall in a messy flow of pink) and reluctantly went out. Being stared down by pitying eyes caused a fire to burn her cheeks and her stomach to turn to liquid. She even had the irritating tick to look over her shoulder every few seconds, worried that someone was watching her, following her, planning to hurt her. Breathing heavily, she had to rest on her old, scruffy sofa before cooking breakfast when she returned home. It was frighteningly exhausting simply to go outside and shop. She wasn’t coping well.

As expected, Naruto wasn’t happy that she had made him breakfast without his consent. He expressed his desire of wanting to treat Sakura to the finest restaurant Konoha had to offer. Not fond of the idea of going out again anytime soon, she supplied him with the noncommittal response of, “we can make plans.” That entire day, they were forced to find inside activities that didn’t consist of playing the same board game three times, cleaning (because gods forbid Naruto do something responsible), or going outside farther than three steps off the threshold of her apartment. It was frustrating for both of them, but they were bonding and that’s all that mattered for either of them. They were closer than they had ever been before, for which Sakura was eternally grateful. How had she missed the lovable goof he had been all along? She thought herself blind for being irritated by his sparkling grin and cheery blue eyes. He was her best friend. Through and through, she loved Naruto.

The following week, Sakura resumed her regular schedule at the hospital; Tsunade advised her to leave her weekend medical classes to Ino, which she tentatively agreed to. Sakura figured the only way to completely cope, and at the fastest rate, was if she threw herself headfirst into all of her normal activities. Everyone else commented that this idea was unrealistic. Her friends and seniors alike treated her like glass. It ticked her off on more than one occasion, leading to _something_ broken, whether it was an inanimate object, a bone or skin, or an acquaintanceship already on shaky ground. Fair weather friends left Sakura at an alarming rate. Her pain was too great, permeated too much of the space between them for them to deal with. Just as well, Sakura consoled herself after one particularly nasty break up. She was better off without such people.

At the hospital, it was eventually discovered that Sakura couldn’t properly take of her duties anymore. It was humiliating for her to go through this, but there was nothing she could do about it. And everyone knew this. Everyone accepted this, but it didn’t change the fact that her pain never lessened, not once in the three weeks she drug herself through her medical duties. The experience was draining and hurting her more than it helped her cope, much to her dismay. In the beginning, to slowly ease her back into her schedule, she was assigned to rounds where she passed out medication in the geriatric ward and administered IVs when needed. She realized immediately that she could scarcely handle needles, but she wouldn’t let anyone know that she had totally cracked.  She was able to just barely tolerate sticking someone with a needle, even though it made her wince, shake, and often feel nauseous.

But there was one thing she hated greater than needles. That was blood. The first time she encountered blood in the hospital after her reinstatement was when a team of ANBU had crashed their way through the front doors of the hospital. They had been bleeding and moaning in pure agony—a feeling Sakura was sickly familiar with and reminded of every night after she fell asleep. Sakura was called from her rounds in the geriatric ward into an operating room. The most severely wounded had requested her assistance because of her revered reputation. Most on the medical staff were skeptical of her ability to perform properly anymore, but Shizune stood up for her. Shizune had declared that Sakura was more than capable of saving this man’s life. Shizune was wrong. As soon as Sakura approached the writhing man, saw the blood coating his body like a second skin, his actual skin hanging off from pale bone, she turned around and wretched in the hallway. She shook, she cried, and she was sent home with Naruto to recuperate for the day. She had cried to him of her humiliation, of her pain, of her incompetence, of her uselessness. His comfort fell on deaf ears.

After this occurrence, she was completely taken off active duty until further notice.

She also discovered her newfangled fear of the dark her first night back in Konoha. Naruto had wanted to sleep on her floor, just in case, but she insisted that she was fine. As soon as he turned the lights out and left her alone, she felt the darkness crawl along her skin and whisper to her. Shikamaru and TenTen climbed in through the window, telling her that all was well. They told her the darkness was her friend, every shinobi’s friend. Loathe to admit it, Sakura wished she wasn’t a shinobi right then. None of this would have happened to her. She wouldn’t be in possession of her two friend’s deaths, and she wouldn’t be as traumatized as she was then. She cried for Naruto to join her in her bedroom for as long as he wanted. Unquestioning, always faithful, Naruto smiled and set up his makeshift bed on the floor beside her. His pallet was never taken up.

The people that knew her best suffered the most because of this closeness. She often spat nasty, inappropriate insults at Naruto, Ino, Kakashi, Tsunade, Shizune, Lee, and whoever else happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, and was the wrong person. It wasn’t that she wanted to. No, she could never intentionally want to be cruel to someone like she had been. It was that she couldn’t help it. Her temper had heightened to a state even she was afraid of. She couldn’t trust herself. The littlest things set her off into a fury, and she despised every moment of it. She despised herself because of it.

Those two months after her return to Konoha from Dakujan were stressful and nerve-wracking. She was always worried that something would happen to her or her friends. What if more unaffiliates had been sent to Konoha to finish off the job they had failed to do in Nature? What if Akatsuki invaded the village just for her demise? And then captured Naruto and killed him? His death would be her fault. She did her best to make sure that wouldn’t happen. During their free time, Sakura convinced Naruto to up the security of her home. When she was satisfied with the paranoid degree to which the home security had been taken, they went to Naruto’s house and repeated the process.

Naruto had refused to take on any mission in the first month of Sakura’s return. After nearly two months of no consistent income, Sakura felt guilty for this. She gave him the excuse that he was just mooching off her and hit him, which eventually led him to start taking on a few nearby missions, but otherwise he stayed with Sakura. They had begun to become codependent on each other then, when they ached for the other in their absence. They were two parts of a whole, which wasn’t always picture perfect when the other half was missing.

At the end of the two months, Sakura decided it was finally time to confront one of her fears: Hinata. She regretted the words she shouted at her teammate in the forests of Nature. It was wrong of her to say that ( _“It’s your fault—both of their deaths are!”)_ , and she didn’t know how to make things right. How could she fix something like that? Sakura had _hated_ Hinata, but it wasn’t a true hate. It was out of blame. Out of misplaced blame, which Sakura now fully put on herself. Would she understand that, forgive her, and befriend her? Or perhaps she hated Sakura for the loss of their friends and would never be able to forgive her. Either way, Sakura forced herself to dress the first morning of Naruto’s absence for a mission in southern Fire and track Hinata down. Unexpectedly, she wasn’t at the Hyuuga compound. She was at Shino’s.

“Hi, Mrs. Aburame,” Sakura greeted sheepishly.

“Sakura. Hello.” With her dark hair, hidden eyes, stoic expression, and monosyllabic responses, she was everything Shino was. It was initially unsettling, but Sakura quickly grew to enjoy this. She wasn’t under a social pressure like she was with…normal people, was the only way she could think to put it.

“Is Hinata in? I heard she was training with Shino today.”

“Yes.”

Suddenly, the matriarch of Shino’s household turned around and began to walk down a nondescript hallway leaving Sakura standing in the doorway. Dubiously, but as fast as she could, Sakura shut the door behind her, tugged her sandals off, and chased after Shino’s mother. She was taking her to the training grounds of their household, which was a small courtyard at the heart of their large home. It was a beautiful, breezy place to train, which Sakura could appreciate at heart. There were a few small trees, but otherwise it was just a plot of earth for her children to safely advance their skills on.

“Shino.” She called her son out of his battle-framed mind with the wave of her hand. She inclined her head toward Sakura, and then left quietly. Sakura watched her form disappear behind a doorway they hadn’t come out of. She was an odd person, but Sakura liked her.

Shino and Hinata both stopped what they were doing and looked at Sakura expectantly. Nervously, she squeezed her left arm and adjusted the headband that was loosely tied at the base of her neck and covered her pink hair; she was too ashamed of the patch to give up wearing her headband for a heartbeat outside of her own home.

It was embarrassing for Sakura to be in Hinata’s presence after the last words she spoke to her were the cruelest she could have come up with this. Shino wasn’t oblivious to the tense atmosphere. If anything, he was hyperaware.

“I’ll leave you two,” he said quietly and proceeded to exit down the hallway Sakura had come from.

Standing in the middle of the courtyard, Sakura looked at Hinata with sad eyes. They both stared at each other for several moments before the wind picked up and the clouds rolled across the sky. Sakura didn’t know what to say, exactly. Why had she even come if there was nothing for her to say? Out of a will stronger than Sakura’s, Hinata was the first to speak.

“Why are you here, Sakura?” She said this with genuine curiosity. Sakura swallowed the lump in her throat and looked down at her feet.

“I-I wanted to apologize. And talk.” There was a longer silence than before after she had said this. Staring at the ground, Sakura thought Hinata might have left the clearing, but her chakra signature gave her away. How was Hinata still tolerating her? Sakura was a terrible excuse for a human being.

“What do you want to talk about?” Hinata walked over to the edge of the wooden floor against the clearing and sat down. She motioned for Sakura to join her, who reluctantly did so.

“Anything,” she swallowed a second lump in her throat, looking at her knees now. “You’re the only one who can understand me right now, so I figured, you know if we talked, then…”

“That’s how I feel…” Sakura felt more confident at the consensus between them, and felt a new courage in her to begin engaging conversation.

“Why aren’t you at your house?”

“N-Neji…he…” That was all Sakura needed to get the answer she assumed. She obviously felt uncomfortable around him, and Sakura began to regret bringing this up with her.

“I know how you feel.” Another silence, and then it was broken by Hinata’s wet, cracking voice.

“Why did I survive, Sakura? Why me? I was the weakest…the slowest…I was the epitome of failure on our team. How could _I_ have survived out of the four of us? If anything, I should have been the only one to die…” Hinata finished with holding her arms and leaning forward. She was on the brink of crying, and Sakura wanted to comfort her, but she didn’t know how.


	7. With Stars and Butterflies

**Chapter Six**

**With Stars and Butterflies**

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Sakura had been summoned to Tsunade’s office.

Because Naruto’s presence was also required in Tsunade’s office, he walked with Sakura. It was a slow walk that both enjoyed. As anxious as Sakura was about getting out of the house, Naruto calmed her down with sensible comfort. And to be honest, there was nothing for Sakura to worry about. It was a warm day with a comfortable breeze and a cerulean sky left unblemished by any clouds. The city was buzzing with civilians and off-duty shinobi alike, which gave Sakura an odd sense of unity. In hindsight, she knew she would have regretted simply teleporting to her master’s office (Naruto had convinced her to do otherwise, despite the slowness of their pace), since taking the time to walk through the village would help Sakura. She looked over and smiled at her dear friend. It really had.

As Naruto knocked on Tsunade’s door, Sakura shifted uncomfortably. She wasn’t too keen on the idea of history repeating itself. Who knew if even she was going to come back from this mission? However, being in her master’s presence eased her pain. Despite Tsunade’s upfront and aggressive disposition, she was truly a loving person and took care of her own. This included Sakura during her mental and professional collapse.

“Grandma Tsunade, what’s up?” Naruto spoke first as he shut the door behind Sakura.

“Word has been sent from Suna that Gaara has fallen ill- they believe it to be the Red Death. He’s not the first in Wind to contract the disease, but I believe your presence there will ease the people’s suffering.  Until the rest of your team arrives, the debriefing will have to wait.” As if on cue, Neji stormed into the room, followed by Kiba.

“I’m just saying, alright?” Kiba plead desperately.

Neji glanced over his shoulder, sending a vicious glare to Kiba before turning around and focusing on Tsunade.

“I apologize for our tardy. Kiba was…adamant,” Neji spat the last word.

“Hyuuga-”

“Enough!” Tsunade barked, slapping the desk with her hand. Everyone quieted immediately. “Do any of you know where Kakashi is? Time is of the essence.”

“Here,” came Kakashi’s monotonous response, appearing in a flurry of clouds, and seated on the open windowsill to Tsunade’s right.

“Good. Now, as most of you know, the Kazekage has fallen gravely ill. Due to the status of the last assistance mission executed, we will focus more on self-defense rather than offense, now that we know more about the dangers of Type Three R.D. Kakashi, you’re the team captain. I trust you to take care of your team to the best of your ability.”

_No room for absolutes,_ Sakura lamented. Everyone knew how dangerous this mission would be.

“You will be leaving as soon as possible, expected to reach the plateaus surrounding Suna in three days’ time. Sakura, your goal is to cure Gaara. Everyone else: protect her with your lives. Dismissed.”

Everyone took the next half hour to get ready and meet up at the village gates. Sakura guessed the pressure, anxiety, fear—that nothing had set in yet. Because, in all honesty, she felt fine. She really did. This was probably the best day she had gone through without feeling so fragile, like she was teetering on the edge of a titanic cliff. She had seen Shikamaru and TenTen only twice, and now Tsunade appeared to deem her fit enough to take on such a serious mission. She felt proud of herself. But none of this meant she was okay. None of it.

Birds chirped at each other playfully, and children giggled as they ran around the streets. All of this made Sakura uncomfortable and itch for the safety of her bedroom. She craved for the comfort of her cool apartment, her plush blankets, and the dark confines of the corner her bed was situated in. Instead, she was out in public, in the open, on a hot day that made her sweat, on her way to the outside of the village so she could exhaust herself by running for three days’ straight. She had thought she was fine with going on this mission, but now she regretted believing that without thinking through the repercussions of such a dangerous leap. She shook her head and scoffed at herself and looked up to see Naruto wave at her. Thankfully, she had been able to convince him to go with Kiba and figure out what the problem was between Kiba and Neji.

“So?” Sakura queried, referencing their latest self-employed spy mission.

“Neji’s talking to the Hyuuga clan council about punishment for Hinata’s failure on that mission to Nature. His petition has been in administration for months, but now he’s finally getting somewhere. There’re rumors that he’s pushing for her exile from the clan.” Naruto finished the sentence with an angry look in his eyes and disgust in his voice. “We’ve really got to talk to him on our way to Suna…”

“Upfront confrontation won’t do anything to help Hinata’s case. That was made obvious when Kiba practically attacked him earlier. We need something subtle,” Sakura said quietly.

“Yeah, because-” Naruto exclaimed when Sakura nailed him in the stomach with the back of her hand, and then smiled cordially as Neji walked up.

“Hello, Neji!” Sakura trilled.

“Hey, Neji,” Naruto groaned.

“Hello.”

Kiba arrived less than a few minutes later, eagerly perched atop Akamaru. He pumped his fist into the air and gave them a curt inspirational speech that lasted a few sentences, seeing as how he preferred to walk instead of talk. They set off at a consistent, yet hasty pace. Covering as much ground as possible was going to be debilitating as it was, but the pace they were going was expected to get them as far as humanly possible. Naruto forced them to run past nightfall, which no one felt like arguing with. This was a severe emergency, and Gaara’s condition wasn’t described beyond Type One.

Silence enveloped them as they sat around the crackling fire. Sakura was sitting against a tree, her knees pulled in to her chest, resting her chin against the soft and dirty fabric of her capris; her skirt was hidden away in her backpack. Naruto was poking the fire with a short stick, swearing under his breath as he burned himself repeatedly. She watched him with an adoring smile as memories flooded her mind and warmed her heart. How had he managed to make her love him? Was it all of the memories he had spent his time creating with her? She inwardly laughed and took in a deep breath as she closed her eyes. Her heart exploded into a violent pace at a sudden touch, and she almost panicked. Opening her eyes, she saw Naruto smoothing out the wrinkles of a blue blanket he had draped over her shoulders.

“What? No, I’m fine,” Sakura mumbled, shrugging away his kindness.

“You were shivering.” He smirked at her, and then settled down beside her when she pulled the blanket tightly around her chest. “Anyway, I’m glad you woke up just now. Kiba and Akamaru got back from scouting out the area, and he said it’s all clear. We’re gonna talk when he gets back from wrapping Akamaru’s injury—they were attacked by an angry bear.” Naruto snickered and then waved at Kiba as he sat on a large limb placed on the opposite side of the fire. Akamaru curled up at his master’s feet and fell fast asleep.

Kakashi, on the other hand, was nowhere to be found.

“Not the best scouting I’ve seen,” Neji said with crossed arms. Kiba glared.

“Shut it, Hyuuga.”

“So, Kiba, did you find anything relating to the Akatsuki?” Sakura clenched her fists, hoping they were lucky enough to pick up the scent of the mysterious organization.

“Zilch,” Kiba said with a distressed look. “I mean, for _anyone_.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll find whoever did this and make sure they pay.” Naruto gave Kiba a curt nod, who returned the gesture with a confident smile.

“What proof do we have that Akatsuki is the one behind the Red Death?” Neji spoke up, having decided to play the cynic.

“The fact that they’re an evil organization that’s been lying low for the last few years has put them at the top of the list. Besides, who else has the resources to do this? We have an idea of their numbers after Gaara was kidnapped, and it doesn’t look good.” Naruto was frowning deeply at this point, angry with Neji for distancing himself further from the team.

“That’s not proof,” Neji responded.

“It’s our only lead!” Kiba interjected. Naruto blurted out his agreement with Kiba.

“Listen, the disease was discovered in the southern island countries. There has been minimal action, if any at all, made by the Akatsuki in that region,” Neji persisted.

“The current turmoil could be their motivation. Maybe their goal is start another Great Shinobi War,” Sakura supplied.

“Splitting up the nations like that, especially with it being Blood’s territory down there, could spell danger for the entire continent.” Kiba nodded his head as he spoke, looking from Sakura to Naruto. He turned to Neji who was silently contemplating the matter.

“If the mission to Nature had gone smoother, we could say that with more certainty.” Neji’s voice was quiet, but dripped with venom.

“Neji!” Naruto jumped up and jabbed a finger at Neji.

“Screw off! There was nothing that could’ve been done about that,” Kiba growled at Neji, chipping the log he sat on as he dug his fingers into the bark.

“Neji. Look at me,” Sakura grinded her teeth at Neji’s hesitation.

An eerie silence befell the team, each waiting with baited breath for Sakura to speak.

“You think you’re hurting from the loss of your teammates? I had the ability to save them, and I failed. I have to live with that every day. But Neji, I’m doing better. Every morning I wake up and I’m still alive, I realize that it doesn’t hurt as bad as it did when I fell asleep. Tiny fractions at a time, I’m healing. You aren’t doing that. You need to accept what happened, and cope. We’re here for you, Neji. We _all_ are. Please believe that.” Sakura watched him with shimmering eyes, hoping to either help him through this pain, or understand why he was treating Hinata the way he had been. Neji’s eyes were closed, and his arms were crossed. Sakura sighed in dismay.

“It’s not the same,” he whispered.

Sakura looked up at him and tried to speak, but his eyes flew open and a simmering hatred boiled the air between them. The anguish and desire for revenge was so achingly familiar and painful that she felt like the insecure, haughty, ignorant twelve-year-old she could never really shake off.

“You didn’t lose what I lost. Don’t compare us. We are not the same.”

Instead of feeling hurt, Sakura focused on what his words meant. What had he lost that she hadn’t? Sakura lost teammates, friends, people she had known her entire life. Isn’t that what Neji lost? Sakura couldn’t see it. She couldn’t understand what he was talking about. How had he lost more than her? She watched Shikamaru and TenTen die. Sakura paused at this, and looked up at Neji with wide eyes.

“You loved her,” Naruto spoke quietly. Sakura looked over at Naruto in shock, and saw his cerulean eyes half-lidded in empathy. “I know what you mean.”

“And how is that, Naruto?! Last I checked-” Neji jumped to his feet and gritted his teeth, but then silenced himself. Sakura and Kiba shared a look before Neji spoke again. “I’m taking a walk. Don’t disturb me.” He fled the campsite, but Sakura wouldn’t let him leave it at that.

“No, I’ll talk to him. I need to.” Sakura held up her hand as Naruto took a step toward Neji’s fading figure.

“Are you sure?”

Sakura nodded resolutely.

Neji knew Sakura was following him, she didn’t doubt that. But he wasn’t trying to evade her. He just kept walking in the same direction toward whatever it was he could see with his pale eyes Sakura couldn’t see with her single eye. Finally, she caught up with him near the mouth of the river north to the village of Black River. He was sitting on a large bolder, holding his chin in his hands propped up on his knees. Sakura approached Neji’s slumped back quietly, the only sound being the crunching of rocks beneath her feet. She stopped next to him and watched the crystal clear water swirl around and cascade down bull sized rocks. The stink of sulfur permeated the air, but Sakura didn’t allow this to disturb the beauty around her.

“What do you want?”

“I want to talk with you,” Sakura responded, holding her hands behind her back. She smiled contentedly at the river, enjoying both the trickling sound of the water and Neji’s presence, however unwilling he was to allow her to indulge in the latter.

“I want nothing to do with you, aside from retribution.”

“How will you achieve that? I’m right here. I’ll do whatever I can to atone for what happened. What do you want?”

“I don’t know.”

They were quiet for a few minutes, both formulating how to prudently go about this conversation. The entire meeting felt like a chore to Sakura, but she was willing to do whatever it took to comfort Neji. He was right to desire retribution, but Sakura didn’t know how to help him decide on a course of action. But as the saying went, she had made her bed. Now she had to sleep in it.

“An eye for an eye, right?” She supplied quietly. Inwardly, Sakura found this comment ironic. She would be blind if that were the case.

“That’s too easy.”

“You mean it isn’t enough.”

“Nothing will ever be enough. Nothing will ever bring TenTen back.” Neji closed his eyes, his brow furrowed in his blazing agony.

Sakura wished she could grasp his pain so she knew how to properly handle this situation. She felt like she was groping in the dark for an appropriate response.

“So why don’t you just move on?” Sakura looked over at him.

Neji was quiet. She didn’t know whether he was contemplating her words, or if she had overstepped her bounds and he was presently trying to restrain himself from eviscerating her. She looked up at the billions of stars dusted across the night sky, and felt so insignificant, and so consumed with everything around her. She was overwhelmed with the complexity that was life. Pushing her way through these cloudy thoughts to find something more tangible, something she could hold on to, she found words that pierced her heart. Slowly, Sakura brought her gaze down until she was looking at the opposite side of the river. Shikamaru stood there, looking up at the stars, and then looked back down and held Sakura’s eyes.

_Responsibility isn’t a desire, a wish, a dream…it’s an irrevocable possession…_

Sakura looked down at Neji, and knew that she was the maker of Neji’s tragedy. She knew it was her responsibility to see him through this, to find his retribution, to execute his vengeance. However he needed to cope with TenTen’s unnecessary death, Sakura had an obligation to be there with him. His pain was her responsibility.

“I’ll do whatever I can for you.”

Neji looked up at her for a few seconds and then focused on the butterfly fluttering across the river. She nodded to herself and turned around.

_That’s too easy,_ TenTen whispered in her ear.

Sakura nearly screamed, her hand instinctively reaching for her kunai, and her breath catching in her throat. With wide eyes and shaking hands, Sakura held TenTen’s wickedly playful brown gaze.

“I thought you were leaving?” Neji twisted in his place on the rock and watched Sakura’s rigged back.

“I-I-” Sakura swallowed the thick lump in her throat, shaking- “I am.”

Sakura straightened herself, wringing her hands together as she left Neji to himself. At the camp site, she pulled out several scrolls from her beige backpack. Sifting through them, she found one with a large diameter and began reading the notes on the Red Death she and Tsunade had collaborated. It was a tedious read, and Sakura fell asleep before she realized what was happening, and woke up again with that same blue blanket lying across her front.


	8. Her Lips at a Disadvantage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Death Note reference! And maybe Shugo Chara. I can't remember Amu's last name, although I might have when I came up with that in here...I'm not sure. Heh. ^^' *sweat drop*

**Chapter Seven**

**Her Lips at a Disadvantage**

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 The flat brown caps of Suna’s surrounding plateaus came into view a couple hours after sunrise. In near the same amount of time before noon, the enormous natural walls of stone were looming over Kakashi and his team like wonderful giants. Quickly, they were themselves enveloped, and greeted by chuunin in dusty garb. One was chatty and recognized the book in Kakashi’s hand; a debate ensued between the two about which of the characters was better at _sex_. Sakura was fuming within seconds, clenching her fists and held down by Naruto and Kiba.

“This is BS, guys! Let me go! Let. Me. Go!” Sakura broke free of their grasp, but Kakashi had long disappeared. Reeling in her rage, Sakura spun around, Naruto being the first in her sight. She carefully emphasized each syllable of his name before charging like a maddened bull. “ _Naruto_!”

“Kiba, do something!”

Kiba simply held his gut and bellowed out his laughter.

While Sakura was escorted by a group of ANBU, Naruto and the rest were shown their living quarters during their stay in Suna. Naruto loudly suggested they celebrate their arrival (more key, their survival), to which Kiba agreed, but then Kakashi and Neji swiftly made their exit. She gave Naruto a small smile, and received one in kind. The sight of him warmed her belly like a steaming cup of tea, so much so that she continued thinking about her dear comrade the entire walk to Sunagakure’s hospital.

To her dismay, the local hospital was no more than a sick bay. Gaara, leader of the village he was, lay in a room no larger than the others. To Sakura’s pained dismay, the Kazekage’s scarlet hair was thinning, his cheek bones poked out, and he was pale as the moon to the point of the shadows around his eyes being black as coal and larger than usual. Sakura’s breath caught in her throat and she found it hard to move around the foot of the bed.

“How long as he been sick like this?” she whispered in a professional tone.

The ANBU guard around her stayed silent while the nurse on call stood from her seat beside her leader.

“Sakura Haruno? I’m Mikami Hinamori. I’ve been taking care of Gaara since he fell ill a couple days ago. His condition has only worsened.” At this, Mikami Hinamori brushed away a tussle of Gaara’s hair with her thumb. “He’s lost eight pounds because he can’t take solid food, which has lowered his iron to a dangerous level. At first, he refused to visit us here at the hospital. He was forced to when he fell in his office and hit his hand on his desk. Nearly bled to death.” Mikami’s voice petered off to a sound murmur that made Sakura place a hand on her arm.

“I’ll do everything in my power to keep Gaara alive. I promise you, Mikami.”

Mikami looked up at Sakura with watery eyes and nibbled on her lower lip. Sakura realized this nurse was young, too young to be a nurse. Was Suna really so low on proper medical staff they had to bring in girls with barely enough experience to care a lame bird back to flight? Where had the progress made years ago gone?

“Sakura…” Mikami said in a trembling voice, slowly turning to watch Gaara’s still face.

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There was less time spent with people than Sakura was hoping for. She had been feeling better these past few days, and that was thanks to the time she had been spending with her team. Now, she was stuck in a sweltering office built in next to the herb house, examining Gaara’s blood cells and scrolls describing the effects of different mixtures of herbs on the Kazekage’s specific ailments. Occasionally, she invited Neji in to examine Gaara’s chakra to see if she was making any progress. The only updates she received were tired shakes of the head and mute, “another mutation.”

The first day went by at a terribly slow pace. Every quarter of an hour Sakura would look at the clock and barely ten minutes had passed. It was excruciating, and she quickly realized the clock was not her ally. And that night she didn’t take even a short nap, instead choosing to continue her work on understanding the disease tearing its way through Gaara’s body. With the taste of the icy chill of the night desert still on her skin, and before the sun had brushed its rays along the horizon the medical kunoichi had filled dozens of thin scrolls with diagrams depicting certain mutations of the Red Death, notes on how it reacted with different types of cures, and personal notes on the disease of her predictions of its future mutations and how it would react with the human body. A very small number of predictions became reality due to the uncontested unpredictability of the Red Death.

The second day, however, was painfully fast.  She regretted her prayers of a faster day, and prayed over and over for more time. If she couldn’t find a cure by tomorrow evening, Gaara would die. What would she say to Mikami Hinamori then? _I’m sorry_? No. Sakura would not fail another mission. She would be smarter than this disease, craftier, faster, and even more unpredictable. It didn’t matter if she died of exhaustion, so long as she contributed this much to Mikami, and Gaara, and Naruto, Kakashi, Kiba, _Neji_. Neji most of all.

“Neji,” she whispered, dropping her pen.

Sakura jerked awake, tearing a portion of parchment that was stuck to her red cheek with saliva from its place on the scroll. The clock’s ticks thundered in the small, unkempt office; the hands clicked faster, and faster, nearly driving away Sakura’s sanity. She felt her heart beat in time with the clock, and could barely stand it. She leapt to her feet, tossing her ink pen full in the face of the clock. It shattered and fell to the floor with a crash, and then the office was enveloped in stony silence. Sakura breathed heavily, clutching her face in her bare hands.

_This isn’t taking care of things_ , TenTen crooned.

Sakura looked up and saw her late teammate holding the bulk of the clock, its glass front in dozens of pieces at TenTen’s feet. She clenched her fists and glared deep into the evil brown eyes of her torturer.

_I thought you wanted to give Neji closure? He loved me more than the air he breathed, even the honor he stood for, did you know?_ TenTen threw her head back and started laughing, bold-faced mocking Sakura as she always did.

This time, Sakura would not fall for her mind’s evil tricks. This time, she would lose herself in her work instead of her insanity. She closed her eyes, tiredly pinched the bridge of her nose, and shook her head. She slowly sat back in her rolling chair dressed in boiled leather with patterns of local faith painted on, and spun around to work with the microscope.

TenTen was breathing down her neck, but Sakura couldn’t be bothered with that. She felt in her bones the coming of a breakthrough. It was there, right in her hands, literally there. She was holding the solution, but it wasn’t coming to her, not yet, not until its time. TenTen often laughed at her failures, her terribly scribbled shorthand, but Sakura did not acknowledge any of it. Perhaps this was the wisest thing she had done in months.

A knock at the door roused her from her deep concentration.

“Who is it?” Sakura spoke barely above a mumble, engrossed with balancing a chemical equation to combat a specific trait of the disease, but not matter what she did it never evened out. She was missing something, that one little thing.

“Kiba.” He walked into the office and shut the wooden door behind him with a soft click. “Naruto’s passed out, drunk; Kakashi probably went off to hook up with some local bar girl; and Neji is cooped up in his room, going over those scrolls you let him borrow.”

“Oh, the one detailing the disease’s Chakra Nature? I thought he might enjoy that, as much as Neji Hyuuga can enjoy something these days.” Sakura erased the scrap paper she was working on with such a fury that she tore it clean in two. “Damn it!”

“Hey, hey, calm down. Why don’t you come with me to get something to eat? You can cool off, talk this out, and bounce your ideas off me. Sounds good, right? You need it.” Kiba’s eyes widened as he spoke, unintentionally emphasizing Sakura’s uncared for person.

“What? It’s three in the morning, Kiba, no where’s open.” Sakura rifled through a drawer to find another spare piece of paper—she had run out of scrolls long ago.

“It’s almost ten.”

“Get out, get out, get out!” Sakura ushered Kiba from the office and spun around to look over her work.

Today. She had to heal Gaara _today_. His pulse had weakened these last few days, his iron levels were so low that everyone was surprised he had survived this far. What was he clinging to that kept him alive? Sakura wanted to know, but she had to find a cure first. She had to go over all of her notes, go through the most recent blood tests and compare them all with one another within the next several hours. She had to regroup, and fast.

Quickly, Sakura gathered up Gaara’s most recent blood test results and decided to pour over these before she started anything else. She tracked the poison through his blood, watching its progress and its development, its interaction with itself. This was a new angle she hadn’t taken yet. And when she discovered the key she had been looking for the whole time, it was a sudden realization that seemed so obvious it stunned her.

At first, the disease in his system attempted to ionize completely, which she had expected. However, before it could, which would allow it to do the real damage, a specific portion of the disease that had already ionized (the same portion every time) would attach itself to the other diseased cell that was in the process of ionizing and feed it the chakra it was stealing from its host. This super-powered diseased cell then ionized even faster and powered through whatever circulatory system it was in of the host. It was even more terrible and stronger than it could have been otherwise. That’s how the disease grew in ferocity and mutated with each antidote. It was created to never stop changing in the first place.

Then, the question became how to predict its changes so Sakura could more easily come up with an antidote. It seemed completely random at first, but the closer Sakura looked, the easier it was to see a pattern in the specific elements and their replacement reactions with one another. For the rest of the day, she worked on balancing different antidotes, pumping them into Gaara’s blood samples only to see them devoured by the disease. But over and over, she continued to mix and match the herbs in different doses and at different times. A time after noon, Sakura finally found a combination that annihilated the disease. So long as the disease in Gaara hadn’t mutated, he would be safe. He would live.

Bringing this news to Mikami was one of the best things she could remember ever doing. The luster came back to her brown eyes, and she cried tears of contented bliss. They embraced and laughed, and Naruto couldn’t help but jump in, too.

Gaara’s gagging cough separated the three newfound friends. Sakura exclaimed and ran over to the Kazekage’s side and bid him open his mouth. Slowly, and with help from Sakura, his mouth opened as wide as it could be, just enough for a piece of dango to rest securely between his lips. Sakura tipped his head back, and carefully poured the maroon liquid into his mouth. As soon as the entire antidote was in his mouth, she shut it up quickly with her hand and pinched his nose shut with her fingers.

Beneath her, the young man thrust his chest into the air, his eyes wide and bloodshot, and began to choke on the antidote.

“What’s happening?” Mikami cried from Sakura’s fading peripheral.

“His throat is swollen and clotted with coagulated blood so he can’t swallow the medicine.” Sakura spoke quickly as she shoved Gaara down and wrapped her boney fingers around his neck.

Healing Gaara while holding him down and keeping his mouth shut was a task Sakura wouldn’t quickly volunteer for again. Pushing the blood down his esophagus was a struggle she had never foretold. But once he unwillingly drank the antidote, Sakura stepped back and sighed with relief. All they had to do was wait for the medicine to eradicate the disease.

After the first few moments, silence rang throughout the room, tearing at everyone’s eardrums. The only sound was the slow, steady beep of the heart monitor. And then the beep slowed even more, Gaara opened his mouth to let out a sigh, and the beeping became a continuous scream. Sakura didn’t understand what was happening at first. The antidote had been a success in the lab, hadn’t it? But flashes of lessons taught by Lady Tsunade made her check herself. Success in the lab didn’t always translate to success in the field. Sometimes there was failure. And sometimes, if you were lucky, ingenuity could save the patient.

Like time winding up, Sakura leapt across the space between her and Gaara and slammed her hands onto his chest, thrusting her chakra into his body to probe the tissue.

Obviously, his heart had stopped. But what had caused it? She looked for her antidote, the disease, and then began examining how it all reacted in his blood. Not only was the antidote neutralizing the Red Death coursing through his veins, but it was also terrorizing his own blood cells. More specifically, his red blood cells. Essentially, Gaara was suffocating.

“I need two bowls of water, _now_!” She ordered to either Mikami or Naruto. In the end, it didn’t matter who listened and who brought the items, she just needed to have them.

In the meantime, she pumped her hands against Gaara’s chest while forcing her chakra into his heart to kick start the organ. During the second time she breathed air into the Kazekage’s deflated lungs, the bowls of water she had asked for were beside her. With the Red Death effectively gone, she needed to pull out the antidote and really work on bringing Gaara back.

It was tedious work, searching and gathering and pulling the antidote out of his body. Gaara writhed and cried out, but Mikami and Naruto helped as much as they could. After the entire antidote had been drained from his blood system, Sakura ordered Mikami to breathe life into Gaara’s lungs while she pumped her chakra into his heart once more.

“I-I can’t-”

Before Sakura could think to get her entire sentence out, she felt Naruto’s hand on her shoulder, offering his chakra. Their eyes met for a moment, and then Sakura drudged up energy from Naruto’s vast pool of chakra and thrust an even greater amount of chakra into Gaara’s heart. She screamed at him the entire time to open his eyes, breathe, turn his heart on, to _live_. He didn’t listen until after Sakura cracked one of his floating ribs.

“Gah!”

His eyes flew open and he looked around in a panic, soaking in his surrounds, confused and misunderstanding. But Sakura didn’t care about his mental state. She just rejoiced in the light in his eyes, the life that was back and staring her full-on in the face. She had brought him back. He had died, and _she_ had brought him back.

“Lord Gaara,” she sighed.

“Lord Gaara!” Mikami wiped her tears away with the large sleeve of her kimono.

“Gaara,” Naruto said.

Afterward, when Temari, Kankuro, his council, and a few newscasters had come in and greeted him, Sakura found herself leaning against the railing of a lobby’s dusty balcony, watching the blazing sun set. She looked west, past where any people had dared traveled, and wondered what lay beyond the Vast Desert of Solitude, the gold mines following, and all the unknown lands thereafter. She hoped she would get the opportunity to explore these unknowns past the Roran Sea before her death. What an opportunity that would be, to see things no human eyes had ever laid themselves upon before.

“Hey, Sakura,” Naruto stepped up beside her, looking at her with his sparkling blue eyes. “We should celebrate. You’ve been working on that antidote for days with hardly any sleep. What do you say?” he smiled brightly, showing off his pearly teeth.

“You know what, you’re right. I deserve this.” She looped her arm in his and allowed him to take the lead.

Sakura stopped in the doorway of the sliding door and looked over her shoulder for one last look at the balcony. There, looking up at the stars fading into view as the sky turned around their world, was Shikamaru. He was leaning against the railing right where Sakura had been, but he seemed to fit into the scene better. He was translucent and faded looking, seemingly dusty like everything else in Suna. He turned around and caught her eye.

Neither of them smiled. They just stared.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Sakura and Naruto sat atop the tallest of the plateaus surrounding Suna on its northwestern side. Sakura sat with her legs drawn under her; the large wool blanket they were sitting on was crumpled around her legs. She smiled up at the dark velvet sky blemished with trillions of twinkling stars. It was a beautiful sight, affected only by the peat fire Naruto had lit, and the few remaining lights suspended in Suna’s city. Beside her, Naruto leaned back against his hands with a piece of half-eaten teriyaki hanging from his mouth. He had offered to bring dinner upon their meeting here, and Sakura was unable to pass up a free meal. With the peace wrapped around her like a blanket, she couldn’t find it in her to regret the decision.

“Ah, I love this breeze up here. Desert weather is so nice at twilight,” he sighed. Sakura giggled.

“It is.” She looked over at him, lost in his cerulean eyes.

Naruto’s eyes were so large and wide, a testament to his ever-lasting innocence. He even bore a child-like air around him, one of blind hope and optimism. That was one of the things she admired most about him. His optimism was never to be outdone. Always, he held his head high and never looked down.

_His eyes are so large_ , she thought, _so wide and pretty._

His nose brushed hers, and then his lips were on hers as well.

Sakura’s eyes shot wide open and her heart thudded painfully in her chest. His eyes were shut in earnest, his brow furrowed, and she could see his shoulders move as he wrapped his arm around her waist. Unexpectedly, she sank into the kiss, tangling her fingers in his messy blond hair. He kissed her over and over, and each time the kiss only got better.

_He’s kissing me_ ,Sakura whispered to herself, _he’s kissing me, Naruto’s kissing me, Naruto’s_ -

In a painful crash, Sakura felt her stomach twist and she wrenched away from his strong hold. She fell back on her hands and looked at him with sad eyes and wet, parted lips. The ache between her legs had disappeared into thin air, and there was only Sakura and Naruto, not stars dancing around her head and angels singing in the distance. Just her and…

“Naruto. I-I can’t…I’m sorry; I can’t feel that way for you. You’ve been such a good friend, a brother! I-”

What silenced her wasn’t her own sob or his, but laughter. In fact, Naruto’s laughter. His eyes were wet with tears she couldn’t decide were for the laughter or a hidden sadness, but nonetheless he laughed and Sakura couldn’t figure out why in the hell he was.

“Hey, what are you laughing at, huh? I just rejected you!” Sakura gritted her teeth angrily, upset by Naruto’s nonchalant reaction to a seemingly serious situation.

“I’m so sorry! It’s me, it’s me! I didn’t think you would actually kiss me back…” Naruto quieted and sighed, and then a sad smile drooped across his face. “I took advantage of you. I’m sorry.” He looked over at her and Sakura’ chest burned with humiliation.

“What do you-?”

“You’ve been so sad these last few months. And now, you’re happy. I knew I shouldn’t have tried anything, because you being okay is so new, but I couldn’t help myself…I love you. I just…I don’t know, I guess I just wanted to know what it felt like. So I took advantage of you.”

They sat around the crackling fire for several moments in silence. Whether or not the quiet was welcome or awkward, Sakura would never know. She just sat there and absorbed his words while she fiddled with her skirt.

“Naruto,” she began quietly.

“Yeah?” He looked over at her with another piece of teriyaki in his mouth.

“YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT FOR TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME LIKE THAT. HOW DARE YOU, NARUTO. ASS!”

Sakura threw herself across the small space between them and locked her fingers around his neck, shaking him with all the strength she could muster. What kind of douche would do that to their friend? Just take advantage of them like that while they were still weak and susceptible? She didn’t understand what he was thinking and it didn’t matter. Once she was finished with him, thinking wouldn’t matter at all to him. More like figuring out how to put his body back together, just like the prick deserved!

“S-Sakura! Lo-ok!” Naruto pointed to the north, behind Sakura’s back.

Keeping Naruto’s dirty neck in her grasp, Sakura swiveled around and looked at where he was pointing.  A couple hundred yards in the distance was two black blobs of ink against the desert horizon. Even with just one eye, Sakura could tell who that was. Walking to the northeast, seemingly from Sunagakure, was two Akatsuki members. It was impossible to hear the tinkle of their bells, but it was all too easy for Sakura to imagine the little bells swinging in the breeze.

“That’s-”

“Akatsuki,” Naruto finished in a grim voice.

“We have to tell Gaara. Now.”

“Mh.”


	9. A Second Chance at Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm going to update on Fridays from now on. Also, I love Gaara's reaction in here. XD
> 
> Sakura: Idiot here kind of deserved it.
> 
> Gaara: Hm.
> 
> HMM~
> 
> Anyone else? Anyone? (crickets)

**Chapter Eight**

**A Second Chance at Life**

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Gaara had decided to move into his personal recovery room beside his office to give the Kazekage Regent a break from his busy duties. Most, save half his council, argued against his dive into his work after such a traumatizing experience with the disease, but Gaara felt such a duty to his people he felt like there was no other option. And here, in his sparse and lame excuse for a recovery room, is where the two Leaf shinobi found the physically weakened Kazekage. His spirit, however, flew unbroken.

Sakura walked into the bright room first, two dusty cloaks draped over her shoulders and wrapped securely around her front with a Konohagakure pin. Naruto followed closely behind, clutching either of his arms and shivering like a tree shedding in autumn. Glaring at her friend, Sakura slammed the door right behind his heels.

“A-CHOO!”

“Where’s your cloak, Naruto?” Gaara asked with a bewildered expression.

Sakura giggled and waved, showing off her possessions, in which she had an excess.

“Idiot here kind of deserved it.”

“Hm.”

“However, that isn’t why we’re here. Lord Gaara, we have cause to believe the Akatsuki are behind your recent illness. Naruto and I were on the northwestern plateaus when we saw two of the organization’s signature garb moving northeast. They might have had some way of gaining information from the inside and fled the city upon your recovery.” Sakura stood tall and serious. Her one good eye was concentrated on the silent Kazekage, while her right eye was hidden behind her headband. Ruefully, she had likened herself to her old sensei.

“This isn’t good at all…I need to send a red-ribbon hawk to Konoha immediately. Do you have anything you would like to send to the Lady Hokage alongside my warning?”

“Yes, actually. I have several scrolls worth of information Lady Tsunade needs to read as soon as possible. They’re in the office you’ve let me borrow; I’ll use a jutsu to gather them all up in a single scroll and send them up to you as quickly as I can. Thank you, Lord Kazekage.” Sakura bowed graciously, and Naruto sniffled.

“Say, Gaara, you wouldn’t happen to mind me going off and beating their asses, would you?” Naruto stuck his nose in the air, all cock-and-bull.

“Idiot!” Sakura gave him a mighty _thwamp_ on the head, fuming. “You’re so useless you’d just get yourself killed!”

“Sakura!” Naruto howled disdainfully, rubbing the large knot on his head.

“Please forgive him, Lord Gaara,” Sakura said with a bow.

“Of course,” the Kazekage replied awkwardly, but with a hint of fond nostalgia.

“By the way, how are you feeling, Lord Gaara?”

“I’ve definitely seen better days, but I’m alive and breathing, which is all I can ask for at the moment.”

“Do you have any chest pains, tightening of the throat, stiffness of the limbs, difficulty breathing, or fever?”

“I am running a fever, and my chest has been aching since I awoke. I’m exhausted, but I can’t seem to sleep. Believe me; Mikami has tried to make me.” He smiled sweetly and waved his hand in the air. “But I’m not complaining. It’s enough to be alive.”

_Enough to be alive…if only some people could say the same,_ Sakura thought mournfully.

“I’m happy to hear that, Lord Kazekage. With my scroll, I’ll also send up some herbs to help you sleep. Take them an hour before bed each night for two weeks, every two nights for three nights after that, and taper off as you wish from there.” Sakura smiled and bowed. “If I may be dismissed?”

“No, not just yet. Sakura, you have been a wonderful help. The sacrifices you’ve made for me, this city, and Sand itself is more than admirable. A kind thank you and a pat on the back will never be enough; and neither will what I’m about to do.” Gaara ducked down to reach for something in one of his many drawers, and pulled it up to hold in the air toward Sakura. “For your courageous duties as a medical ninja, I offer you these scrolls of secret techniques and medical ninjutsu to keep and hide or share as you wish. Although, I’m sure they would make a nice addition to the library in Konoha if you would spare a copy.”

“Ah, Lord Gaara! Thank you so much!” Sakura gratefully took the scroll from his hands and examined the intricate and ornate detail to the case the parchment rested in. The paper was smooth and pale, virgin from the looks of all sides, though she knew there must be swaths of desired information in these pages.

“Ooh, let me see! Sakura let me see!”

“Back off!” Naruto shoved his way in anyway, viewing the glorious scroll with her. They stared in awe.

“That is not all. I also offer you…the services of a village elder, Lady Chiyo. She will give you your right eye back.”

Silence fell across each of the three shinobi in the room. His words were understood immediately, but how could such a thing be? Sakura’s right eye should have been permanently blind.

“That isn’t possible. The damage is too great and the scar tissue too deeply embedded in my eye.”

“But…couldn’t you get a transplant? Grandma Tsunade offered, but you…”

But Sakura had rejected her offer in such a fit that she’d holed up in her room for days afterward and barely eaten anything. Thinking back on that shamed Sakura, made her feel like an immature child. She should have gratefully accepted the offer, but she didn’t feel like she deserved such a gift. Eighteen at the time, she was adult enough to make such a decision without reprimand from those around her, as much of a mistake as it had been. She looked up at her Gaara with strong, thoughtful eyes. This was her second chance. There was no way in hell she’d pass up such an opportunity.

“Yes, Lady Chiyo was hoping to perform a transplant. I’m sad to say there is no way to give you a green eye. We can, however, offer you a brown eye. Will you accept this gift of mine?” Gaara folded his hands on his desk and looked at her with a calm, unreadable expression.

Sakura smiled happily to herself.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

After the successful transplant of her left eye (brown as it was, Sakura concentrated her chakra to change the color to the same shining emerald of her left eye) and after the hawks had flown for Konoha, Sakura was able to really celebrate with her teammates. This time, Kakashi was with them, eating as much as almost everyone else. The delicacies of the desert country were delightful, something Sakura would miss after she parted Suna. Fortunately, that would not be for a very long time. Not only did Sakura send her notes on the Red Death to Tsunade, but also a request to spend her summer in Suna, and possibly the rest of the year, circumstances permitting. With encouragement, Tsunade bid her stay as long as her heart demanded; the only conditions were that she learn all she could, teach what she had to offer, and be happy. Smiling wide like the little kid Sakura always wanted to be, she gleefully shared this news with Naruto, who called for yet another celebration (even out of her own pocket, which Sakura obviously did not appreciate).

During the early part of summer, Sakura found herself teaching newly assembled classes of chuunin and jounin interested in the medical field. This was where she felt most at home, passing on her craft to others. Back in Konoha, she reviled in her weekends spent encouraging her students, praising them, and helping them get better. It was such a wonderful, special feeling she never wanted to live without. She knew she had betrayed her students by abandoning them for her depression, betrayed Ino by dumping the entire load on her, but that was in the past. Once she returned and showed them how much she had learned and grew they would forgive her. And everything could go back to the way it used to be.

Shadows of her past dancing in her peripheral, or not.

Sakura also contributed to Suna’s medical store with all she had learned from Tsunade. She even helped raise money to add on to the sick bay of a hospital that belonged to the poor Sunagakure. With her immense strength and audacious personality, she was a great fit for a builder.

Of course, Naruto, Kiba, Neji, and Kakashi didn’t stay with her. They left a few days after Tsunade permitted Sakura’s own stint in Suna. The plot developing between Neji and Hinata had merely simmered. He promised to repeal his request for her exile, but swore he would attain his retribution in one form or another. The two Leaf shinobi talked all night on the subject, burning out many fires in Neji’s apartment, but no clear cut agreement was achieved. With Naruto, it was as if the two had never kissed. He had sense enough to make sure that was the case and how it would stay to his death. Sakura, of course, ensured this by beating him up into a fairly black and blue pile of human mush.

Concerning Sakura’s own training, progress was steady. With her precision perfect chakra control, Kankuro took her under his wing to teach her simple puppetry. However, with this unbroken focus of chakra control came a price: she had to use the spare chakra she saved for keeping her left eye green to control the puppet at first. Her training began with one eye green and one eye brown, but eventually she grew skilled enough that she could once again hide her true eye colors. When she had proved she wasn’t a lost cause, he took her into his shop and instructed her on how to build different puppets; battle puppets, spy puppets, medical puppets created specifically to Sakura’s abilities, and puppets to use for the sake of having something to do when she got bored. By far, Sakura’s favorite puppets were the spy puppets. They were very similar to the medical set, except these could collect and store information, defend themselves more adeptly than the medical ones, and could turn aggressively defensive as quickly as the sand danced across the desert dunes.

“No, see…the key is you have to make yourself one with the puppet, even through the chakra strings. Remember your lessons in kenjutsu—you took those, right? Good. It’s just like making the sword a part of your body, but now it’s a completely functional member that can fight and turn and breathe just like you. Go on, try again.”

Sakura nodded at Kankuro’s words and concentrated her chakra in the tips of her fingers, then cast them out to her puppet…which was a miniature version of Naruto. It had been tempting for her not to pummel the wooden doll on first sight, but it was easy enough for her to suppress the urge. The puppet would certainly come in handy, and she didn’t want to ask Kankuro to make yet another one for her—this one had been gifted with enough kindness.

Her chakra attached easily enough to the puppet—that was the easy part—but getting the puppet to move at the twitch of her fingers was different. The task required even more chakra precision and concentration than she was used to. Not that that in itself was the hard part. She had just gotten so used to the nature of chakra control that medical ninjutsu required that finding a chakra control that required a wholly different approach was bewildering. She caught on, however, after several hours of hard, sweaty work. Now, she could make the Pseudo Naruto dance around her like Rock Lee in battle.

She exchanged letters with her comrade as often as her duties would allow it. Sometimes Naruto might write something that irked her to the point that she sent a shadow clone in a scroll to beat him up for it. He had thought he could get away with saying what he liked through pen, but he quickly figured out how wrong he was about that one. This was Sakura Haruno he was thinking about, and she would find a way to kick Naruto Uzamaki’s ass back into obedience no matter what it took.

The Red Death was quieting down in Wind, its bite felt worse in Lemon and Orange than anywhere else presently. Exchanging notes with Tsunade throughout her stay in Suna kept the two thinking and plotting against the disease, which was beginning to fall before the two medical kunoichi.

Through the summer months and into fall, Sakura found she was happier than she thought she could ever be. She was growing, and coping, and learning, and teaching, and doing all sorts of things she might have found impossible or unappealing just a mere few months ago. The thought made her heart thump loudly, and proudly, at night when she reflected on the recent happenings of her life. Gaara was healthy, Naruto was excitable and hard-working as ever, and the world kept turning. The moon kept rising, the sun kept setting, the stars kept spinning, and the wind never stopped blowing—no, not here in Wind country.

She was all the happier for every bit of it.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Sakura’s heels clicked against the cobbled hallways, and her gloved hand rapped gently against the Kazekage’s door. Her traveling cloak was wrapped snuggly around her, keeping her warm and her clothes from dirtying. Dust was a thing shinobi and civilian alike fought against every day. She was oddly accustomed to the thin films of dirt gathering on her skin now, though. It seemed to caress her arms and face, the wind whispering sweet comforts to her. Suna was such a quiet, lovely place to be.

“Yes, who is it?” Gaara asked from the other side of the thick door.

“Sakura, Lord Kazekage.”

“Oh, come in! Have you stopped by to say your good-byes?” Gaara was standing beside his large windowsill, watering the green plants and cacti that sat quivering in the wind, seeming to vie for Gaara’s attention. He smiled warmly at her, and Sakura eagerly returned the gesture.

“Yes, I have. Home is calling, and I can’t stay away any longer. I’ve learned so much from my stay in this beautiful city— _your_ beautiful city, Lord Gaara.” Sakura bowed, fighting the happy tears that tickled her nose; her right eye, however, hadn’t developed the ability to cry yet (this was something for her and Shizune to work on once Sakura had returned home). “I’m so grateful for the experiences you’ve allowed me to have, the memories I’ve been able to make. I will always be in your debt.”

“And I am grateful for the experiences I’ve had these last few months that would’ve been impossible without your arrival.” He smiled at her, setting his watering can at his feet, and turned to face Sakura. “Everyone in Suna will miss you. But here, I’ll grant you this one last kindness. Temari!”

“Yes, Gaara.” Temari appeared in the room in a quiet puff of smoke, kneeling before her brother Lord Kazekage.

“As planned, you will escort our dear friend Sakura to her home in Konohagakure, safely and unharmed.” Gaara sat down at his desk, pulling out some colored scroll, and dabbed a quill pin in a small bottle of ink.

“Yes, Gaara.”

“I wish you both a safe journey.”

Walking through the deep, thick opening in the plateaus gave Sakura a vague feeling of homesickness. She looked over her shoulder multiple times in loving nostalgia. She would definitely miss being in Suna. The people here and the friends she’d made in her stay would always hold a special place in her heart. She would never forget them. Looking back for the final time when the plateaus gave way to open desert, Sakura gave the fading image of Suna a sad glance, and then turned with Temari at her side to the travels ahead of them.

The beginning of the desert lying out before Suna was easy enough to traverse. Then came the forests, which was more difficult in its own right. Several times, deer or bears or lizard lions threatened to attack them; kunai tended to ward off the craven, thankfully. Once, they stopped at the bed of a trickling brook to eat a lunch they bought from a nearby tavern. Finally, at the sight of the walls of Tani, both kunoichi let out a sigh of relief.

“I know a nice inn we can stay at while we’re here. There’s also a very nice restaurant down the road from there we can eat at before we leave tomorrow.” Temari smiled at Sakura as she said this.

“You’re just full of great ideas, aren’t you?”

They laughed together and walked unmolested into the village. The inn was nice enough; the beds weren’t cramped as she thought they might be, and the service was pleasurable. Sitting together in their shared room, the two young women conversed before a starlit sky and a flaming hearth. Warm, comforted by a gentle breeze, and enjoying facetious anecdotes they were more contented than either had been in a while.

And then the door burst open with a wheezing old man bearing a panicked-torn scroll. Temari and Sakura jumped to their feet at his entrance, eyes wide and minds sharp.

“Sakura Haruno?”

“Yes? What is it?”

“I have received word from the Lady Hokage…the first letter I was to open was urgent, but bid me hide the second until your eyes and yours alone befell the parchment.” He handed her the sun bleached scroll, barely legible because of this, but the letters were easy enough to decipher. Sakura put a hand over her mouth and set the letter on her bed.

“Temari, I have to leave for Konoha tonight. You may leave tomorrow, but…I’ve got to leave as soon as I can.”

“What’s wrong?” Temari picked up the letter, her eyes widening with each passing sentence she read. “This can’t be happening…I thought for sure…”

“We were wrong. The disease has moved farther inland than we predicted…I can’t believe it’s in Konoha…!”

“But you can’t leave, Sakura! Lady Tsunade urged you to hurry, yes, but you have to rest!”

“Rest, my foot! What if Naruto catches the Red Death? What then, Temari?” she spat her words at Temari, glaring daggers at her comrade. Anger, fear, and anxiety raged through her veins alongside a coursing adrenaline. No matter what she did, sleep would inevitably evade her.

“I don’t care. I have orders to escort you to Konoha _safely_ and _unharmed._ Sleep-deprivation and over-exertion will not take you on my watch.”

Sakura glared at Temari with unadulterated loathing, and then turned her gaze on the man, who understood her face’s meaning and fled the room at once. Slamming the private bathroom door behind her, she resolved not to be beaten so easily. Later that night, she slipped a large sleeping pill in Temari’s tea, easily sneaking out after her friend had fallen.

The forest at night was more frightening than the forest in day. The nocturnal came out to play, and vicious games they enjoyed. Sakura had no other choice but to kill a group of water buffalo that charged her, leaving only a mother and calf to flee. A lizard lion crossed her path, but the thing would nevermore be contrary with anyone.

The only thing going through her mind was ensuring Naruto’s well-being once she arrived in Konoha. Friends like it or not, she would do everything in her power to assist the sick and dying as quickly as possible. But her ultimate priority was Naruto, and no matter what thoughts she steered toward in an effort to calm her nerves, she always circled back to Naruto: her life-long friend and partner, a childhood mentor who had taught her more than Iruka ever could have hoped, and a teammate she would trust her life with no matter the situation. He was so important to her. She couldn’t afford to let him fall ill, and if he had…gods be damned if she would let him go down without a fight.

A whirring in her right ear didn’t catch her off guard. She was ready, on edge. A kunai flew out of her pouch and deflected the blade with the snap of her wrist. Stopping on a lower tree branch to see who had assaulted her, Sakura found nothing…and then a cloak. Standing at the base of the tree she was poised in was a figured donning a black cloak with swirling scarlet clouds.

“Akatsuki,” she hissed, and her hackles rose and blood roiled.


	10. Opportune Yet Unfortunate

**Chapter Nine**

**Opportune Yet Unfortunate**

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Sakura clenched her fists. Her breath hitched at the sight of the Akatsuki member. All that represented the majority of the pain in her youth stood not five meters beneath her. Memories of Itachi and Kisame assaulted her, and formations of rote began to check themselves off in her head as she figured any possible way to get out of this situation with that Akatsuki's head in her hand while the body lay thirty feet away. Her teeth gritted until she had a headache, and her fingernails bit into her palm through her gloves.

"Who the hell are you and why are you here?" Sakura dropped the five meters between her and the ground and landed with a muffled  _whump_  for the peat on the forest floor. She slowly rose from her crouch and held the reflective brown gaze of the Akatsuki standing before her.

"I am known as Mon no Kiwa."  _Gate on the Border._  "Please call me Kiwa."

The brunette looked even younger than Sakura, yet she would not let age cloud her judgment. Itachi was Sakura's age when he last showed his face to Konoha in an attempt to kidnap Naruto. Age meant nothing in a world full of such raw evil and hate.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Sakura asked distastefully.

"I am a gate on the border, able to deliver you to either side." The way Kiwa emphasized the last two words made the skin on Sakura's arms prickle with anxiety. The young girl did not respond to this whether or not she saw Sakura's reaction.

The young Akatsuki donned the traditional attire of the organization; the only personalization was her Lightning headband defaced with a long, deep gash. Her hair was a dark, almost black brown, cut to barely grace her shoulders with bangs that dusted her forehead, giving her a boyish look. Her face was clear, a pale tan, and blank, dominated by her nose and round cheeks. She was obviously youthful, but her eyes seemed aged much beyond even Kakashi's years. Her eyes… Her eyes were a watery, reflective brown that showed whatever the one facing her wanted to see. The sight gave Sakura goose pimples, ones she didn't welcome and itched to rub away.

"I have a proposition for you, Sakura Haruno."

The way she knew Sakura's name frightened her, but she couldn't say it was entirely unexpected.

"Why should I listen to anything you have to say?" Sakura threw her chin into the air and made her leather gloves creak with the pressure of her tight fist.

"I do not waste words, nor do I say anything of little to no value."

"Sounds like what half the assholes I know would say on the spot."

Sakura loosened every wiry muscle and took a large lounge forward. She intended to fight Kiwa head on, but before she could make a plan the girl suddenly disappeared.

"What?"

"Hear me out," Kiwa said from high in a tree behind Sakura. Sakura whirled around and glared up at Kiwa's chubby figure.

"Get down here and face me!"

"Watch your tongue, Sakura, or there will be no Konoha to return to."

"Like threatening me is helping your case."

Sakura leapt into the trees and swung at the boyish girl, but she vanished before Sakura even set her first foot on the branch. Kiwa left Sakura's fist to whistle through air. She looked around her and searched for a chakra response, but only found one after Kiwa spoke once more, far below her and several dozen yards away.

"This is not wise action," she cautioned with a thick voice.

"Give me a reason why I shouldn't gut you right here," Sakura said. She kept her place in the trees.

"Akatsuki wishes to eradicate the disease known as the Red Death from the face of the earth. We wish to enlist your help in this endeavor, because we cannot achieve this goal without your medical prowess. Will you make the wise decision of accepting Akatsuki's offer and join our ranks?" Kiwa's face stayed expressionless throughout her words, but Sakura could tell an offer from a threat a mile away. If she didn't accept, death was the only way out of this situation, of one person or the other.

"I don't like listening to threats, especially from the likes of you. Here, I'll even give you a ten second head start before I chase you down like the dog you are!"

"Sakura Haruno, you will die if you do not accept our offer, and not from any Akatsuki. We are giving you the chance to save your friends from impending doom. All nations will fall from the might of the Red Death if we don't do something about it. How successful was the cure you administered to your precious Kazekage? Didn't he die? Not everyone is strong like he is; not everyone can come back from death like that. What about the elderly, the young, the weak of will and body? They will all perish. How many courageous men grace the face of your precious world?

"Akatsuki intends to heal  _all_  these people, but we are overcome with other necessities of equal importance. The world is threatened from all corners, all walks of life, and by many different evils. This one in particular, however, is the most evil. Yet we cannot put our entire focus on it. But you can. Join us, and we will share our knowledge of the disease, which is by far greater than yours or the Lady Hokage's. I will share this piece of information: there is a pattern showing the Red Death's mutation is turning toward Type Two. If this transformation continues, there is only one path which our world will take, and that is the utter annihilation of the human race. Now, I ask you one final time…will you accept our offer and join Akatsuki and assist us in eradicating this disease from the planet?"

Kiwa's words frightened Sakura. Was any of it true? How highly could she hold the Akatsuki's words? She was evil, of course. The black and red cloak was enough to win anyone to believe that fact. But was Sakura willing to take such a risk as the threat of the entire world collapsing on its knees based on that doubt? Sakura clenched her teeth and bowed her head. She felt confused and afraid. Was the better way of helping Naruto focusing on Naruto himself, or by nipping the whole thing in the bud?

"I—I…" Sakura fell to the forest floor and looked at Kiwa with watery eyes. "You're right." She released her words in a sigh.

"You will not be an official member of Akatsuki, merely a mercenary of sorts. You will not join the Akatsuki in meetings unless specifically asked. You are temporary help until this situation is resolved, at which time you will be discharged from all duties related to the Akatsuki. You will never speak to anyone about your experiences with our organization. To ensure this, all of your memories pertaining to Akatsuki will be erased. Entering our allied ranks, do you understand this?"

Sakura clenched her fists and stood up. Her knees shook and her lips trembled. She was so afraid and alone, unsure of herself and whether or not she was doing the right thing. What would her friends say to her right now? She betrayed their trust, their hopes, and their expectations. How could she ever face them again? But this was a necessary evil. She liked to think everyone would believe she was well-intentioned, even though at the end of it all she wouldn't remember a thing.

Sakura nodded.

"You will be defecting from your village of your own will and accord, which puts this decision under your full and competent responsibility. The consequences of your decision will be paid in whatever amount by yourself with no action made by the Akatsuki in your defense. Entering our allied ranks, do you understand this?"

"Yes." Sakura found her voice, and with it more bravery to move forward with her decision.

"Sakura, if you need any resources, any person, any _thing_  just say the word and Akatsuki will provide." Kiwa spread her fingers apart in front of her chest like everything Sakura would ever need was right in that space between her hands.

Sakura nodded.

"In a few moments, two men will approach you. Do not acknowledge the first one who speaks to you." Kiwa's voice gave way to small hints of irritation. "If there is any chance of you running into Hidden Leaf shinobi, do what you must to get out of that situation." They held eye contact for a moment, but when Sakura blinked, Kiwa disappeared like she had never been there to begin with.

"What?"

"Sneaky jutsu Kiwa has, huh?"

Sakura looked around, surprised at the sudden voice.

"How about  _up?"_

The second voice was coarse and wiry, almost like rough static. Sakura turned her face to the unseen sky and saw the strangest creature she ever laid eyes. It looked like a man, but half his face was black and the other white, his eyes a yellow more gold than the sun; but his oddest characteristic was the Fanged Snapdragon standing three feet tall around his head, a feature that grew from the unbuttoned collar of his Akatsuki cloak.

"Who are you?" Sakura asked wearily. The plant-man-creature chuckled darkly and gave her a strangely wicked smile.

"Zetsu," the coarse voice said.

Zetsu disappeared before Sakura could ask any more questions, but his disappearance was more obvious and acceptable than Kiwa's. He floated in the air, part of him hanging out of the side of a tree, and back into it he disappeared. Sakura lowered her gaze once she realized he wouldn't return and focused on a third person's voice.

"Hey, you couldn't have beaten Kiwa that easily! Well, did you scare her off, then? Come on, kitty cat, show us what you got!"

Sakura turned around at the sound of the voice and crazy maniacal laughter. A tripled-bladed scythe took her immediate attention. Secondary to her awareness, the gleam of the man's necklace caught her eye. His hair was short and slicked back, just as silver as the chain around his neck; his muscles rippled beneath taut skin, and all of this caught Sakura off guard. He was an entirely queer looking man where Kiwa's apparent normalcy eased her into a safe lull.

Right before the maniac's scythe decimated Sakura's spot on the ground with the force of its blow, Sakura felt herself cradled in stony arms. The man placed her on a high tree branch. She looked over the scary man who hid every feature with mask or cloak but his red and green eyes. His slashed headband showed his origins to be in Hidden Waterfall. Sakura looked down at the raving Akatsuki beneath them and glimpsed a Hot Water headband around his neck.

Both were hulking and intimidating.

"Kakuzu, you prick! What're you protecting her for, she needs to defend herself!" The man beneath them shouted and bared his teeth. He raised a clenched fist at the shinobi next to Sakura.

"Shut up or I'll kill you. She's a medic not a fighter. Go pray for forgiveness while I talk to her."

"Screw off, you heretic!"

The exchange between the two was so bewildering Sakura hardly understood them. If the Hidan guy needed to pray for forgiveness because he nearly killed her, why was this Kakuzu a heretic?  _And why is he so loud like Naruto,_  she deadpanned. The man who was Hidan sat himself down and began to pray.

"Lord Jashin, please forgive me for being unable to kill this girl. I pray you will let me kill twice as many men today for this disappointment."

Sakura openly gaped at his words, horror struck.

"Let's leave Hidan to his prayer," Kakuzu said.

"I—I don't understand," Sakura said. But this was her lot. People who openly  _enjoyed_  outright manslaughter and even  _prayed_  for it were now her comrades. Were they all like that? "You two aren't my teammates are you?" Kakuzu laughed.

"Yes, we are. I protested against the pairing. He'd kill you, and then where would we be?"

"He—He wouldn't kill me!"

"Because of his religious morals or out of the kindness of his heart?"

"Um…"

"Then you obviously don't know Hidan. But I certainly know you, and your tempers won't match. Alright, I guess we should wait for Hidan and then be on our way to a hideout in the south. We need to pick up a package and take it to the bounty checkout just across Kawa pass, a day's walk over land from there. We'll be there in two and a half days." Kakuzu leapt from the tree and pulled Hidan from his musings.

Sakura watched in awe as the two Akatsuki members spoke out of earshot.  _You'd think they were actually people,_  she thought in a tone she couldn't discern as being sarcastic or sincere surprise. Hidan picked his arm up and gesticulated to get some idea across. Kakuzu shook his head, entirely frustrated. His voice rose and Sakura could start to hear him, and Hidan glared fiercely at his partner. Curious about their conversation, Sakura jumped down and walked over.

"…bad idea. Really, Kakuzu, I can't believe we're going to do this. Whatever. But the kitty cat is your pet. I want nothing to do with it." Hidan turned around and held his hand out. Clearly, he didn't like what they were about to do.

"What's up with him?"

"A difference in business strategy."

With that, Kakuzu walked away in Hidan's direction and left Sakura to  _humph_  and wonder what their deal was.

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The thoughts swirling around Sakura's head ate her alive. She officially defected from Konoha. She officially discarded her Leaf affiliation. She threw away her Fire colors. She discarded everything she once knew as home. Vaguely, she remembered thinking she was going home as she left the plateaus of Suna. Where was home now? Was it still in Konoha and she was just unable to ever set foot there again? Would they allow her to come back, even just for a short look? To see what she lost? Her friends aging and growing…Naruto gaining power and friends and lovers and eventually becoming Hokage…her parents worrying over her absence, but coping and forgetting…the kind people of Konoha who never did her any wrong worth abandoning them over. What would they think of her?

_Traitor!_

Sakura's eyes widened at the sight of TenTen standing high above her in the trees. She glared down at her with the most malicious stare yet. She wasn't even mocking her or being sarcastic. In that moment, it was true hate her late comrade felt for her. That had to be the first time Sakura ever felt the raw feeling of hate directed at her. Fittingly enough, it came from someone who should've shown those eyes to her before. Was this how Naruto felt when he was young and all those people stared at him like they did? Sakura couldn't imagine…

"We're at the hideout. We'll spend the day here, seeing as how we haven't slept, and pick up our pace again tomorrow."

The hideout was hidden well beneath layers of genjutsu and highly advanced traps. Kakuzu led Hidan and Sakura through them all until they stood safely before the entrance, which Sakura couldn't find.

"Where's the door?"

"No imagination," Hidan said. Sakura stuck out her lip and glared at him, but contained herself from lashing out. If what Kakuzu said was true, she needed to control her anger around Hidan.

Kakuzu stepped up and weaved several hand signs, and then released the jutsu when he finished. A small mouse hole in the ground grew in size on Kakuzu's command until it was large enough for all three shinobi to comfortably walk abreast. As they walked farther into the torch lit corridor, the door shrank behind them and became a mouse hole once more, no more than a speck of light near the ground. She watched her only escape route with sad eyes, and then focused on where she was walking, hoping there wasn't too much horror waiting for her. Whether or not she meant that figuratively, literally, or about her looming future, Sakura didn't know.

"You can pick whatever room you want. They're all the same; no windows, no electricity, just a bathroom, bed, desk, closet, and chest of drawers."

Sakura nodded and turned into the next room she came upon.

"We'll be down the hall and on the second right, if you need anything." Kakuzu walked on but Hidan through a smirk over his shoulder.

"Let's just hope your first night will be uneventful."

Sakura's fist tightened and she slammed the door behind her. She found a dusty old kimono in one of the drawers in her bedroom and decided not to wonder who it belonged to as she prepared to take a shower. First, she had to light the candles in the room, then brought one with her into the bathroom. The water was hot, which reminded her of the spas in Konoha. She couldn't help but cry at this thought.

Would Temari hate her for what she did? She just wanted to save Naruto and all of her other friends. She meant no harm, meant nothing by her defection other than she would take care of business in the best way she knew she could. She slid down the plastic shower wall, sat in the tub, and wrapped her arms around her knees. The steaming spray of water hit her on the top of her pink head, and it almost felt good if not for the bitter taste in her mouth that spilled all over her body.

She was so scared…

When she opened the door to her bedroom conjoined with the bathroom she saw a set of clothes laid out on the small bed. She looked at the closed door, tightened the kimono around her, and quietly padded over to the clean garments laid out on her bed like a bodiless figure of clothes. There was a pair of sandals on the floor and thick grey socks attached to them long enough to go all the way up to her thighs. Above them rested a pair of tiny navy shorts that made her squirm in her place. There was a mesh undershirt and a black bust-length top with long sleeves that opened up largely at the ends. The collar sank into a deep V-neck lined with scarlet. She picked the top up with a disgusted look on her face and flipped the shirt around to see whether or not it even had a back.

"'Rising sun'?"

On the back in large red print were the characters for  _rising sun._  She made a face at the allusion to her affiliation with Akatsuki. When Sakura set the shirt down she noticed a slip of paper fall to the floor. She picked it up and immediately a dirty look and blush crossed her face.

_Dear Kitty Cat…humor us? Signed Hidan._

"Asshole…!"

Sakura crumpled the paper and threw it on the desk, and opened the closet door. Inside hung several Akatsuki cloaks of all sizes. Eventually, she found one that fit nicely. The only difference this cloak boasted to the others was the double hood, one black and one red, instead of a high collar. She smiled to herself, indignantly happy to have spited Hidan in this small respect. She kept the outfit Hidan laid out, though, because her original outfit disappeared (it didn't take much to guess who did it and why). The cloak and her socks would hide most of her exposed skin.

"I can't believe that pervert was in the bathroom with me!" She blushed furiously, tossed the clothes on the desk, and threw herself onto the bed.

She pressed her cheek to her arm and stared at the dusty sheets that choked her up.  _Or maybe I just want to cry,_  she sighed. She was exhausted, depressed, anxious, and above all else  _hungry._  Her stomach protested her personal distaste for dinner, and she closed her eyes.

In the morning she wound her way through the hideout to find the place Kakuzu said he and Hidan would be. Finding the place was easy enough. Before she rounded the corner and stepped into the den, though, she heard Kakuzu and Hidan's voices. She couldn't help but eavesdrop.

"I wonder what's causing that?" This came from Hidan who yawned.

"Pain hasn't had any problems communicating with us before. I can't help but feel like there's outside interference."

"You think…?"

"How could  _she_  have anything to do with it? More importantly, why?" Kakuzu shot down his partner's unfinished assumption.

_Are they talking about me?_

"She isn't being as upfront with us as Leader likes to think," Kakuzu said.

"Oh, really?  _Her_  not being  _upfront?"_

"Shut up, Hidan." Sakura heard something shatter and covered her mouth to hide a gasp.

"I'm not cleaning that," Hidan said. "Whatever, I'm not cut out for thinking about stuff like this. Leave that to you and Leader and everyone else. I just like to kill shit." Shivers raked her arms, and she felt her stomach churn. She disliked Hidan more than she ever disliked anything before in her life. He was a sick monster.

Once she was certain Hidan left through some other door, she walked into the den as nonchalant as she could manage after hearing that. She was confused, but tried not to show it. If they were talking about her, she knew she was innocent. She didn't even know what they were talking about—communication of pain among themselves? She decided to push it from her mind for now, and sat across from Kakuzu. She took an offered cup of tea from him and sipped at the hot liquid.

"Some Akatsuki are heading for Kumo to unleash a vial of the Red Death. After we turn in our bounty, that's our goal. We have to stop them as quickly as possible." Kakuzu ignored his own tea.

"I thought the Akatsuki were the ones behind the Red Death?"

"You shouldn't ask so many questions, especially so early on."

She gritted her teeth and looked into the murky depths of her steaming tea. Through the ripples from her tiredly wobbling hand she could see bags beneath her eyes and an exhausted plea in their olive tint. She didn't know why she thought she saw this, but that was how she felt. She was crying for a way out of this situation. Why did things have to be this way?

When they were leaving, Sakura was loath to find out the "package" they were taking to the bounty collector was a dead body. She tried to overlook the smell of the decomposing corpse on the journey, yet couldn't help but stare at it every other step.

During the next day and a half, the weight of the situation refused to fully set in. It was like an out of body experience. She floated above this pink-haired traitor with miss-matched eyes, although that was hidden, and hidden well. At evening twilight before she fell asleep stretched out on a thin blanket, she would pull out Pseudo Naruto and dance him around the campfire; Kakuzu was kind enough to pretend she didn't do that, but Hidan made her the butt of many jokes at first. She watched Naruto's smiling face leap over the fire fearlessly and preform shadow clone jutsu (to which she was eager enough to assist him in).

As much as she liked to think this helped ease her pain, it didn't. All she could think about was her friends, worried about her absence, seemingly from the face of the earth itself. No one heard anything from her in days and it pained her as much as she imagined it pained them. Naruto probably demanded a search party be sent out to look for her; Tsunade most likely agreed. Would they find her? Sooner or later, everyone would find out about her present allegiance, her rash decision.

Rash, yes she knew her decision was rash, and unnecessarily so. But where Naruto's safety was concerned, there was no such thing as rash to her, merely a higher degree of action to be taken. Would he understand that? Would he have done the same? She liked to think he might have. That's what put her to sleep at night, pretending Naruto understood why she was doing what she did. There would be no more Konoha for her. None. Ever. She showed her "true colors" as many people might like to think of her defection. And yes, maybe this did show her true colors.  _This is how much I care about saving my friends!_ , her cloak screamed.  _I care so much I'd throw away my own life, forfeit my own safety and well-being!_  Hopefully others saw this as well.

She looked up and saw the shore on the eastern side of Kawa Pass. She was happy for dry land. The uneasy, rocking motion of the boat frustrated and sickened her. Before the ship docked, they all put on their straw hats—save Hidan—and started to walk through the empty village, trailed by the tinkling of their bells.

"We're here," Kakuzu said several miles out of the village.

"A…restroom?"

"What the hell are we doing at a restroom, Kakuzu?"

Kakuzu went inside and left the two without. Sakura took one look at Hidan who sat down on the steps in front of the front door, and took off inside to follow Kakuzu. On the right side of the wall several urinals past the wall folded in and opened into a large hidden room. The acrid stench burned her nose, but she preferred Kakuzu's presence to Hidan's.  _Lesser of two evils,_  she thought grossly.

Kakuzu and the bounty collector talked for a while which bored her as disturbed as she was to admit this—being around so many dead bodies should have put a person on alert. Eventually, the stranger handed Kakuzu a suit case, and Sakura stood, excited to get out of here, but then he opened it and started counting the tens of thousands of ryo he earned. She fell into her seat and let her face fall onto her arm.

"Hey! Kakuzu!" Kakuzu looked at Sakura from his counting, obviously agitated by her interjection. "Do you feel that?"

Kakuzu tilted his head in concentration, then nodded his head.

"There are Leaf shinobi," the bounty collector said. He slammed a door to some set of stairs behind him.

"Go out through the back. The nearest Akatsuki members are on their way to Kumo. That's where you're to go," Kakuzu said.

"Alright. Thank you—"

The bounty collector roughly grabbed Sakura's arm and led her to the back and shoved her toward the trees.

"Take care."

Sakura leapt into the trees and looked behind her at the ensuing battle. She gasped and put her hand to her mouth.

"Asuma?"

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Traveling north across the countryside was dull and everlasting. The land changed very little on this side of the continent, which Sakura appreciated not. She wanted to be back in the southern region where every day of travel yielded different environments. Instead it was muggy, rainy forest she trudged through, fighting off giant slugs and man-eating flowers reeking of death and rot. There were hundreds of Fanged Snapdragons; as childish a fear as it was, she had the annoying paranoia that Zetsu would rise from the depths of one of the carnivorous plants.

Easily, the most difficult thing for Sakura to accept was her Akatsuki robes. The clothes fit decently, the shoes weren't uncomfortable, and the cloak itself kept her warm where the cloaks she wore in the past did not. It was simply the thought that she was wearing such garments as these that broke her heart. But there was one thing she was proud of wearing, and that was the Leaf headband wrapped around her waist, hidden from the public eye. On her first night's rest away from Kakuzu and Hidan she cut off the portion that made it a bandana and stitched as much was needed so it could properly fit around her waist. Every night she would take the headband off her waist and sleep with it pressed close to her heart; Pseudo Naruto was never far from her either.

Snow riddled eastern fire, but the farther north she ventured, the more this weather faded away. Moving through Hot Water Country was Sakura's favorite part of the trip, as bittersweet as the entire thing was. She was able to see the geysers and protected parks that housed so much aurouch Sakura thought it a waste not to just eat them all. But, she smiled at the sight of them, and at the squirrel frogs, lizard lions, and wild oxen and buffalo. The wildlife flourished in such great bounds it made her head spin. But the closer she got to Frost Country, the colder the weather grew once more, and the more the flora and fauna tapered off. First, the lands turned to tundra, then it was mountains that were a pain for her to pass, especially since she was by herself. And then the other side of the mountain, which was a frozen waste of even more tundra extended as far as she could see. The vista conjured memories of Wind, except the dunes had been traded out for bare slate rock and granite, and the sand for ice and crystals, but the wind was the same. The wind was harsh and did not love her. Without the Akatsuki cloak, she had no doubt she would have suffered terrible frostbite.

Coming upon Kumo was a surprise greater than she expected. The village was built into the side of the mountains, given its name well. Kumogakure literally was a village hidden by the clouds. She could just barely make out the lower level of the village, a great iron and stone wall and several guard towers. Unfortunately, she would not have the opportunity to explore this fantastic village that defied everything she knew. Walking toward her on the main road to or from Kumo was two figures. They were clad in average Akatsuki attire, and the bells hanging from their straw hats tinkled prettily.

"Oh no," she whispered. "Am I too late?"

She spurred herself into a sprint, hoping they really weren't walking toward her, hoping they were walking toward Kumo with the deadly vial of sin knocking safely against their waistbands. But no, they grew exponentially larger with each of her bounds, so much so that within moments she could see they were facing her. They were leaving the village, possibly in shambles. Inwardly, she harbored some twisted hope that it would be some other team of Akatsuki.  _Maybe…maybe…please, gods, please._

She stopped short of being in earshot.  _Let them walk up to_ me, she thought maliciously. Comrades they were, but she didn't feel it in her heart. When the two Akatsuki were several yards away, the tinkling bells stopped long with their movement. They turned their faces to her, most likely curious about the unrecognizable member standing before them. Forgetting the straw hat hiding her face, she reached up to take it off. Watching the two of them with her temporarily matching eyes, she waited for them to return the courtesy of taking off their hats.

Itachi was the first to remove his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no problems with Hidan. In fact, I love the crazy psycho. That's why he's in here in the first place. Though to be honest, I was actually kind of stuck between putting Sakura with Deidara and Tobi, or these guys. I love Hidan, so. :3 But I love Deidara and Tobi…but they aren't as gory as Hidan. :( But Deidara is smexy and Tobi could have provided comic relief! Shit! I've now bewildered myself. Good bye. XD


	11. The Power of Fear

**Chapter Ten**

**The Power of Fear**

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The mountains behind the two senior Akatsuki members blew its frosty breath on the three. The windburn on Sakura's rosy cheeks was uncomfortable and her endless scowl didn't seem to be making it much better. Despite the ferocious anxiety tearing through her system because of the people who stood in front of her she was still aware of the things happening around her. When you were so terrified your innards turned to liquid weren't you supposed to get tunnel vision? She was leaning toward being distracted by the cold. She shivered, not wholly from fear, and hoped they understood that. It wouldn't do to show fear to these murderers… _the ones who wanted to kill Naruto, no less!_

"Looks like we have a visitor, Itachi," Kisame Hoshigaki said.

"What's your name?" Itachi Uchiha walked toward her as he spoke.

Chills ran across her skin and became an irritating itching sensation. She was shaking even worse now, and it wasn't because the wind picked up.  _Did it have to be him?!_  She was so scared her mouth went dry. But there was another emotion that burned her face and fueled her confidence, what little she had, in his presence. Repulsion.

"S—Sakura Haru—no."  _Please think it's the cold making me stutter…_

Recognition crossed Itachi's face and made her feel naked beneath his Sharingan.

"What is your business with us?"

"I—I'm supposed to stop you two from…from unleashing the Type Two in Kumo. But, I can see that I'm too late."

"Under Leader's orders?"

"I su—suppose. Kakuzu said that was our assignment, but he and Hidan got caught up at the bounty collection office with Hidden Leaf shinobi. I'm not sure i—if they survived."

"You really underestimate the members of Akatsuki." Kisame cocked an eyebrow at her and placed a thick blue hand on his waist.

_They're so much different when you're not fighting them._

"I have to agree with Kisame. They can take care of themselves. So, why are you with us if you're supposed to be with Kakuzu and Hidan?"

"And why haven't we heard anything from Pain?"

 _Pain!_  Understanding dawned on Sakura.

_Why haven't we heard anything from Pain?_

_Pain hasn't had any problem communicating with us before…_

"Is this Pain the leader of Akatsuki?"

"Yes," Itachi said.

_She isn't being as upfront with us as Leader likes to think._

"Who…?"

"Speak up," Kisame said.

"Ah, sorry. I heard from Kakuzu and Hidan that Pain has been having difficulty communicating with other members. I understand there's no precedent for that, and I'm so new that I can't be of any help. I—I'm sorry." She shivered hard at the end of her sentence. A cold took her that she hadn't felt since her first night on the mountains. It was painful and exhausted her immediately. She didn't think she could make it through another trip in the cold mountains without resting somewhere first.

"What do you think, Itachi?"

Itachi was quiet for a moment before he responded.

"I think I'd like to stay the night at the inn down that road there and think over our new partner's words." With that, he started down the road, taking the opposite fork in the road either party used to get here.

"Alright then," Kisame said.

Sakura watched them walk for several yards and tried her best to calm her breathing and painfully quick heartbeat. Nothing she did worked. She was still petrified. These men were so wicked and deadly, she couldn't fathom how casual they were acting. They were supposed to be heartless trained killers bent on destroying happiness and peace. Yet here they were, thinking of how to solve a technical issue in their organization while walking to a local inn.

"An inn?!"

She ran up to Kisame.  _Lesser of two evils,_  she thought sardonically. Was every group like this? Both she couldn't stand, yet one she could survive with? She took a deep breath and held her hands beneath her cloak, doing her best to stop her shaking. The cold and fear mixing together in her icy blood was going to send her into a panic if she didn't warm up soon and get some time to herself. She needed to sort all this out in her mind. Things were changing way too fast and she couldn't handle it.

"What if the innkeeper or someone there reports us?" Kisame laughed at her frightened question.

"Don't worry. Itachi will take care of that."

Her eyes widened in horror. She looked up at Itachi who walked several paces out of ear shot and felt bile rise in the back of her throat. He would kill an innocent person, and as his partners they needed to stay out of his way. It was like going on a mission with shinobi from the Hidden Leaf except the exact opposite was happening. Instead of saving lives they were going to steal them. Falling behind Kisame, she looked down at her shielded feet. Her stomach twisted inside her, her heart hammered against the cage of her ribs, and her mind raced dizzily.

_She was so afraid!_

The next time she blinked she found herself staring up at a wooden ceiling. The walls around her creaked with the push of the wind. She sat bolt upright, looked around, and saw Itachi and Kisame through an open doorway. Itachi was reading through a small scroll on the couch and Kisame sat in a chair beside the coffee table, cleaning the scales of Samehada. It was so horribly  _normal_  that Sakura had to lie back down and stop her frantic thoughts. She took in a deep breath, placed a hand over her heart, and then sat up after a time.

"Good morning," Kisame said.

"What? But it was afternoon when—"

"You were exhausted. But since you're awake, why don't we discuss our sleeping arrangements?" Itachi set down his scroll and looked over at Sakura. She stood behind the couch like a clueless and frightened animal. For some reason Itachi found the sight of her brought back memories of Sasuke when he would look so lost if Itachi denied him something.

"Sleeping arrangements?"

"Yes. I've been sleeping in the living room and I'm starting to feel the pain of that." His words got to her and she couldn't help but lash out.

"Why didn't you sleep in any of the other rooms?"

"There are no other rooms. Just Kisame's and mine. The Akatsuki work in two-man cells; you're a third person we have no room for and you've been taking up my room."

"But the hideout Kakuzu, Hidan, and I stayed at had dozens of rooms."

"Most hideouts aren't that spacious."

"Why don't you room with Kisame?"

"...He prefers his privacy."

"Well, get comfy on the couch," she said, "because  _I'm_  the one saving the world here from your organization's missteps."

She turned her back on him and left the spacious suite to find breakfast downstairs. As she left, she heard Kisame laugh, but his cajoling voice faded away. Breakfast wouldn't be served for another half hour, so she sat in what she could only recognize as a parlor. She looked out the frosty window and watched snowflakes roll across the icy surface with the breeze. Outside was a pretty sight she was happy to see from a distance beside a warm fire, a wool blanket draped over her body.

Her eyes drooped and her boredom flared. She regretted just storming out of the room without taking her backpack with her. She could be going over aspects of the disease, samples of the mutation that fought against her cure, and look over her notes. All of it was tucked away in a single scroll in her pale bag upstairs. At least, that's what she hoped. She didn't remember seeing it when she woke up. Hopefully the two didn't steal it or anything.

"Breakfast is ready," Itachi said. She jumped at his sudden appearance beside her.

"You didn't…" Her first thought was of the innkeeper. She hoped whoever it was, that they didn't hurt too badly when he 'took care of them.'

"No, I didn't cook. The innkeeper did."

"What? You mean you didn't kill him?" She looked up at him with unbelieving eyes.

"Of course not."

With that, he left her to force herself out of the comfortable sitting chair. She followed him into the dining room and was happy to see a young man and woman setting plates on the table in front of Itachi and Kisame. However she definitely noticed something off about them.  _Their eyes…_

"Genjutsu," she said.

"How else?" Kisame said.

"Deceit is often necessary," Itachi said and picked up two rice balls.

She watched him fill a small porcelain bowl with pickled cabbage and felt sick to her stomach. The nausea didn't come from the smell of the food on the table or because she was still exhausted, but out of her fear of Itachi. She never knew fear could hurt so badly or control a person so deeply. She watched him set the rice balls next to his cabbage and wanted to bolt from the room and heave in the nearest toilet. She was so scared she couldn't even pick out the food she wanted for breakfast.

"Miss, would you like some spicy freshwater eel?" The woman's voice was hollow and saddened Sakura greatly. She held up a dish of eel spiced with chili pepper, and Sakura fleetingly thought to accept it just to appease the woman. But, with the genjutsu controlling her, she felt stupid eating something she didn't like.

"N—No thank you. Would you pass me the apricot?"

After all three Akatsuki filled their dishes with their breakfast foods the innkeepers left them to eat. She hoped Itachi would take care of them; she didn't entirely trust him, so she decided to check on them after breakfast. Kisame ate his food slowly and with great manners, as did Itachi. Sakura, however, was famished. And, faced with her favorite food, she had no self-control. She powered through the meal, taking seconds and then thirds.

"Hungry?" Kisame laughed and covered his full mouth with his hand. Sakura playfully glared at him, but stayed quiet. "Oh, hey, you hear that, Itachi?"

"Yes."

"You mind covering for me? I'm starving."

"Alright."

Itachi set down his chopsticks and left the room quietly. She barely heard his bare feet as he walked up the stairs and strained to hear him, paranoid.

"Where is he going?"

"Official business little 'kitty cats' like you can't know about."

Her face flushed a bright scarlet.

"H—How did you—"

"Hidan has a big mouth." He reeled backward in his seat and laughed at her confused dismay.

Right then, the Akatsuki reminded her of the girl's locker room at the Academy: gossip circulated with the draft of the air.

They continued to eat in silence, although Sakura didn't know how much more she could eat. She enjoyed the food if not the company, which was what kept her at the table. Oh, if Naruto could see her now he would laugh at her and call her such a hypocrite. She looked down at the half-eaten bowl of rice covered in bits of apricot.  _Naruto…_

"We have our assignment," Itachi said as he entered the room. One of the innkeepers cleaned off their table and left them to speak in private.

"Oh, yeah? Tell me I get to flay someone this time around."

"Exactly the opposite, but it's a possibility. We're to guard a potential client on his journey from Rice Country, through Tea, and then to the continental divide."

"Oh? Who's the client?"

"A man named Yuu Takubachi. Get ready, you two. We're going south as soon as possible."

Going across the mountains was easier with company. Sakura didn't dare ask them for assistance when she needed it, nor did she engage them in conversation, but their presence alone was comforting for her. Considering her icy loneliness before, knowing she wouldn't die alone was fairly enjoyable. She glared at the repetitious scenery around her and her teammates as they moved south. Mother Nature really didn't like individuality when she raised this part of the continent. It was all thick forests, then boulders and gravel, thick forests, boulders and gravels, always with bursting geysers thrown in. She enjoyed watching them on her way north, but going the other way she was starting to want to see something else. The snowfall also made her crave new scenery and weather.

Southern Hot Water Country, however, was blissfully perfect because of the spas they stayed at. Once or twice, she couldn't help but stare at a nice pair of breasts or a piece of hot ass. She blushed and chided herself, but the more sake she drank the less she cared if people even saw her stare. Which, eventually, someone did. It was a very pretty young woman a few years older than Sakura who asked her if she would like to join her and a few friends for some drinks, to which Sakura politely accepted, but inside she squealed. The unknown pleasure and distraction from the Akatsuki and her mission at hand would do her well, wouldn't it? But when Itachi and Kisame saw her leaving the establishment with them, they quietly led her back to their room. She kicked and screamed and told them they didn't know what they were doing. Itachi remained silent and Kisame laughed.

The next morning, she didn't even remember half the night before. She inquired Kisame, who snickered and started to eat to put his focus elsewhere. She wasn't so desperate to find out that she would ask Itachi, but the burning desire and latent embarrassment ate at her. When they checked out of the spa dressed in their Akatsuki robes and straw hats, Sakura caught the gaze of a striking brunette and blushed. The woman looked at her with shock and longing awe in her eyes. Sakura blushed brighter and ruefully followed Itachi and Kisame's leads. Kisame laughed even louder.

"What the hell is your problem, huh?" Sakura gritted her teeth and clenched her fists inside the large sleeves of her cloak.

Kisame would not for the life of him stop laughing and Sakura found her self-control slowly wash away with her rising anger. She let out a loud groan and childishly stomped her foot on the ground. She felt a sick itch raise the hairs on the back of her neck. When she looked up she saw Itachi glance at her over his shoulder with some foreign emotion in his eye she couldn't identify. Her eyes instantly narrowed and he averted his as subtly as he turned them to her. She inwardly huffed and looked behind them at the spa obscured by the steam.

They took a boat from Hot Water to Benisu, and then another boat to Uzu in Whirpool Country where Akatsuki had a small hideout for individual teams to stay in at any one time. The hideout—or rather a two bedroom, two bathroom luxury apartment—was fancy in its sparkling grandeur. Sakura only dreamed about moving into an apartment like this when she was well-established in Konoha Hospital with the higher-ups and had a generous and stable pay check coming in. But this, she could have stayed here whenever she wanted as a member—no, hired hand, of the Akatsuki. As evil an organization they were they knew how to live the high life.

Meals that weren't prepared by people under genjutsu or sympathetic to the Akatsuki's cause were cooked by the two Akatsuki members themselves. They made the civil decision to rotate the responsibility bimonthly, counting the times when meals were cooked by others. She was shocked at how formal and respectful they were with one another. Kakuzu and Hidan had been anything but—in fact, she didn't remember a time when Kakuzu said it was Hidan's turn to cook that either she didn't end up cooking or they ate out. When she inquired Kisame about this he said it was a petty ordeal most partnerships went through at first and some never quit. She nodded at this and decided to help him cook.

The more time she spent with the blue fish-shark man the more she grew to tolerate and respect him. He was dependable, respectful, well-mannered, and held up conversation better than most people. He was charismatic and funny when the object of his fun wasn't her. He was also a talented swordsman and shinobi. Throughout their journey to Rice Kisame suggested he train her in taijutsu and ninjutsu. After one particularly pathetic showing of her abilities when they were attacked by a small group of bandits, Sakura had the displeasure of being cornered by a few of them. She wasn't able to suppress her powers enough to take them down without seriously harming them, which Itachi noted she needed to practice. She yelled at him for his rude comment, but when Kisame backed him up, she blushed and looked at her feet.

Kisame softened the blow of his words with a firm, "you need to practice your fighting skills, or at least learn a jutsu, because I want somebody at my back who won't get me killed."

And that's how she ended up with her Akatsuki cloak lying on the ground in tatters around her, which left her pale body exposed to both men during a sparring session. She started to regret her lack of a failsafe because of the security she  _thought_  the cloak offered. Because of her safe fog, she stood in front of Itachi (who watched the two fight to give her tips, even though she ignored him) and Kisame in her booty shorts, thigh high socks, and deep V-neck shirt that cut off above her navel. And today happened to be the day she  _also_  didn't put on the mesh undershirt because of the heat and humidity of the island country that was fucking Whirpool.

 _Fuck me,_  Sakura moaned, self-conscious and covered all over with a vibrant blush. With her skin hidden under a cloak at all times during their outings, her skin was even more pale than usual, which left her to fret the blush on her body would be twice as visible than normal.

"Alright, um…"

Sakura decked Kisame in the face. The force of the blow threw him a few meters back which made Itachi stare at him with muted shock.

_I seriously hope the only reason I hit him that time was because I'm that awesome and not because he was staring at my boobs…_

"Th—The only reason that happened is because I was staring at—um, well I was  _distracted!"_  Kisame said and huffed, then picked himself up from the ground. Sakura slapped her hand against her face. "I don't need to justify myself to you! Maybe I was just testing the strength of your blows. Ever think of that?"

"You just said you were distracted," she said.

"Now you're just digging yourself a hole, Kisame," Itachi said.

She looked over at Itachi with a curious expression, but he kept his eyes on his partner, whose face was purple with his shouting and embarrassment. She nibbled on her lip and looked back at Kisame, then fell in to stance again, prepared for a lunge.

After a few days of strength training, Kisame suggested Sakura start to learn a new jutsu. When he first said this she stood in her place, looked at him, and waited for more explicit orders. He just stared back at her and she quickly grew frustrated.

"Well? What do you want me to do,  _sensei?"_

"What, you didn't learn this kind of stuff before you were promoted to jonin?"

"I'm a medic not a fighter," she said. She felt her cheeks flare up when she remembered those were the exact words Kakuzu used to describe her. She thought back on it and figured it might not have been as much in her defense as it was a roundabout way of saying she was weak and therefore should not be dealt with. She was glad Itachi didn't see her poor, self-deprecating defense; he left earlier to venture into a nearby village and visit some café.

"That's for damn sure," Kisame said. "Fine. For starters, what's your nature type?"

"Nature type?" She crossed her arms and leaned on one leg.

The thought of her chakra nature never crossed her mind. She studied it at the Academy and watched it first hand with Kakashi and her other comrades back in Konoha, but only objectively. She didn't think to learn a nature release jutsu herself. Medic ninja should focus on healing the injured, not furthering their own abilities. Right? "I never considered it," she said.

"That's pretty stupid. How do you defend yourself?"

"Well, I…"  _Naruto, Kakashi, Sasuke, Tsunade…_  She relied on her friends to protect her. She trusted them to a fault, she realized. She snapped her head up and looked at Kisame with a fiery determination in her emerald eyes. It was the first light Kisame had seen in them yet. "Where's the chakra affinity paper?" Kisame smiled with excitement.

"That's more like it."

Sakura sat on a thick tree limb, kicked her legs back and forth beneath her, and waited for Kisame to come outside with the slips of paper. She looked down at her lap and stared at the bruised flesh on her thighs. She might have healed them if she didn't want to waste her chakra on something so simple. She was impossibly bored, even though she shouldn't have been. She felt her heart beat nervously at the prospect of discovering her nature type. The only time she recalled being this excited about chakra control was when she began her medical ninjutsu apprenticeship under Tsunade and uncovered her knack for the art. But this, this could lead to so much more development for herself as a shinobi.

_WAAH! WAAH!_

She screamed and reeled backward when a crow flew in her face. Her hands scraped roughly against the bark and fell out from beneath her. She began to fall, but hooked her knees around the limb and hung upside down; she heard her socks stretch and rip, but she didn't mind so long as she didn't suffer brain injury. She stayed upside down like that and felt the rush of blood as it pooled in her head, and left her arms dangling around her. Her long, rosy hair swayed in the breeze like a braided noose. She closed her eyes and relaxed, feeling the buzz of pain in her skinned palms.  _I wonder if that's what Samehada feels like,_  she thought absentmindedly.

"Hey, you ready?" Kisame said from far below her. She opened her big eyes and watched him walk to where he stood before he left; she liked the way he looked upside down.

She straightened her legs and let herself fall, but landed on her hands and flipped right side up, stopping a few paces from him, which she covered with her hands held comfortably behind her back. She smiled at him and took an offered piece of paper from him. She examined it and found that it looked exactly like she thought it might: plain and nondescript. The thing was it wasn't any normal slip of paper. The tree it came from was fed chakra from its initial planting, making it sensitive to the different chakra natures accordingly.

She held the paper between her thumb and index finger and closed her eyes, pushing chakra into the special paper.  _Is it wind? I didn't notice it do anything special….no, I'd hear it tear._  She clenched her eyes tightly and pushed a larger amount of chakra into it and hoped she simply hadn't put enough into it to start with, even though she knew that was stupid; the paper should react to any amount of chakra projected into it.  _Did it crumble and I didn't feel it…?_  She peeked through slits in her eyelids, but found the paper swaying lazily in the wind.

"Hey, are you gonna just stand there or are you going to put your chakra into it?" She glared at him and opened her mouth to deliver a cruel quip, but Itachi spoke up from behind her.

"She's putting more than enough chakra into the paper. Let me see it."

Sakura's eyes widened in fear at the sight of Itachi's arm stretched out so close to her face. Chills chased the warmth from her skin and left her pale and slightly trembling. He had a good half-foot in height on her and that made him all the more intimidating. She froze at his close proximity, which gave her the all-exclusive to look at the fiery color of his Sharingan. Suddenly his eyes flicked toward her and she felt so naked and vulnerable it made her nauseous.

"What are you doing?" Kisame asked.

"I'm going to see whether or not the slip you gave her works."

"Can't you tell that with your eyes?"

"I see what I always see, not what's actually going on."

_What's that supposed to mean?_

Kisame grunted in response.

Within seconds of Itachi's touch the paper burst into flames and fell away as ash in the breeze. Sakura watched the charred bits of paper flit away and disintegrate, then brought her hands closer to her face. Her heart dropped and her face paled but at the same time heated painfully. She was humiliated. A ninja without a chakra nature? What a joke!

"Here, try this one, kid," Kisame said. He handed her a fresh slip of paper.

She took it and stared at the paper with burning eyes and prayed that along with the extra push of chakra her anger would scare the paper into doing  _something._  The paper crumpled in her tightening fist, but only because she made it. She clenched her eyes shut.

"Hey, hey, don't ruin it. Let me try."

Kisame took the wrinkled paper from her and pushed his chakra into it. The paper moistened and she let out an angry sigh. She turned away from them and walked over to the remains of her Akatsuki cloak.  _He sure kicked my ass this time,_  she thought and her eyes stung. She couldn't think about her shortcoming. She needed to focus on something productive until she could deal with it and find a way around it.  _Man, what am I gonna wear now? Well, maybe there'll be another one; I haven't checked yet._

She bent over and picked up the largest portions of her cloak first and then crouched to pick up the tinnier shreds. She sniffled and threw her messy braid over her shoulder, but then her bangs fell across her face. She slapped them out of the way too, and was clumsy enough to scratch her cheek. She cursed under her breath and moved more quickly, angry with everything right now. She just wanted to scream at the top of her lungs and take out a few trees, or practice holding back her strength on a target.

"Sakura, I know why the paper didn't react with your chakra," Itachi said. He stood a few yards away from her, Kisame not far behind him.

"No shit, genius. You really are the Uchiha prodigy, huh?" She said. He didn't react.

"It's not because you don't necessarily have a—" She bolted up to her feet and whirled around to face him with angry red eyes.

"I don't care what some  _thing_  like you has to say about anything. You murdered your family and you think I want to hear advice from you? Bullshit! Hell no I don't, Itachi. So leave me alone and don't talk to me ever again unless you absolutely have to. Got it?"

By the end of her tirade Sakura was standing toe to toe with Itachi and jammed her finger into his chest. She held her head back at an uncomfortable angle to hold his flaming eyes because of the height he had over her, but she didn't care about the ache in her spine or the depth of her nail in his chest—she was sure she broke the skin because she intended to do just that.

He watched her with a steady, all-seeing gaze. She hated how calm he was, how indifferent he treated her words, and how vibrant and pretty his Sharingan was. She gritted her teeth and clenched her fists so tight it hurt, but she held her hands back because she didn't want to start anything with the likes of him. He wasn't even worth the breath she just gave him.

"Hit me," he said, "go ahead."

Sakura didn't know whether or not he was sarcastic. Either way, she hated the dead look in his eyes, like it really might not have mattered if she did hit him. Inside, her heart flared with fear, anxiety, and rage, and she could hardly contain it anymore. She stormed away from the arrogant monster (because he was the real monster, not Kisame), and burst through the front door of the apartment. She slammed it behind her loud enough to rattle the paintings on the wall and even knock over a small potted cactus. She flung her door shut and threw open the bathroom door. She drenched herself in boiling hot water, seething inside and out and hating every sensation of it all. Her salty tears mingled with the sweat and oil rolling down her face, and the hot water seared and reddened her entire body.

She was just so afraid.


	12. A Woman Scorned

**Chapter Eleven**

**A Woman Scorned**

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The time Sakura didn't spend training with Kisame (who avoided the subject of her nonexistent chakra nature) or ignoring Itachi, she worked endlessly on the cure for the Red Death. Gaara fell ill to Type One, which as far as anyone knew merely killed the sickened, so she decided to start from there. She chose not to be frustrated stuck at square one and instead focused on how Gaara's blood initially reacted with the disease, how that differed when the antidote was thrown into the equation, what happened after the disease and the antidote were exercised from his system, and the effect the disease left on his body after it was all said and done.

In the beginning stages of her research, she worked off the notes and diagrams she took when studying Gaara's blood. She felt like she was groping around in the dark for answers that might have been miles away from her or two feet to her left—all she knew was the answer was somewhere and she just needed the light to find her way in the mess of darkness.

"Damn it, I'm not getting anywhere," she said. She fell back in her chair and stared down the scrolls on her desk in the vain hope the answer would magically appear out of fear of her wrath. "I need samples of his blood…if only I had thought to take them with me." She pinched the bridge of her nose and yawned. She looked at the ticking clock on the night stand beside the bed and saw its hour hand sat straight on the one while the other stretched across the face of the clock at some obtuse angle.

She looked down at her work and scratched the back of her head, wondering where she should go from here. She shook her head, picked up the pencil again, and wrote slowly across the parchment. The rest of the night went by at a fast pace. It was scary how quickly the time passed; she imagined herself aging, her skin sagging, and her eyes dimming as the night wore on. She prayed she would see the day her skin was spattered with age spots and warts. Would she live that long? She could only hope. She could only hope she would see Naruto and the others when she did.

Her arms were wrinkled and saggy. So much of her hair fell away in years past and her spine poked against the skin of her neck, daring to break free. She was slouched, her bones ached, and her eyes were half-lidded in the exhaustion of old age. She loved every sensation because it meant she had  _survived._

"Come on, let's go pick some apricots!" Kisame poked his head into the room and smiled wide at her.

She looked in front of her once more and saw through a mirror that her skin hung limply from her cheeks, and she couldn't help but smile at the image. Her hair was thin, short, and white with the softest of pink tints shining in the light of her lamp. She looked over at Kisame and saw he disappeared to go pick the apricots without her.

She covered her face in her hands and when she pulled them away she felt herself teetering over the edge of her chair. At the height of her fall her entire body clenched in a stunning spasm. A sharp intake of breath and a brush of hair from her face later, she sat up in bed and brought her hand to hold her hair back. She looked over at the window and saw the first orange-violet rays of sunlight burst across the horizon. She thought it a pretty sight and wished she could share the moment with someone. She felt so starved for the affection and friendship of her old comrades.

Ino would greet her with a hug, Hinata a shy closeness, and all the guys would embrace her, save for Shino, and especially Neji.  _Especially Neji…_  She remembered TenTen would give her the tightest hug of all her friends. Sakura used to love TenTen's perfume, whatever sweet and subtle scent she used. It was so TenTen, and Sakura pleaded with her to tell her what she used, but it was always called TeTen's Number One Top Secret to Luring a Date _._  She smiled fondly at the memory of one particularly exciting exchange they had over the identity of her perfume.

Ino invited TenTen, Hinata, Sakura, and Temari (she was in Konoha on delegation business with the Academy) to get drinks and catch a movie. At the café Sakura sat next to TenTen and couldn't help but lean over and take a deep inhale of her neck. Everyone laughed at Sakura, who yelled at them but she laughed too.

"You have to tell me what that smell is!"

"No way!" TenTen said.

"Like she'd tell you her Number One Top Secret to Luring a Date," Ino said with a laugh. Hinata and Temari covered their giggles, and TenTen patted Sakura on the arm.

"You're no fair."

"Life isn't fair, or else I wouldn't have to cheat and use this," she said. She jumped from her seat and pumped her fist into the air. "No way will Neji beat me at getting as many dates as possible this time between missions! Hell yeah!"

"Whoo!" Some proud female shouted and clapped from the back of the café.

"That's the attitude. Come here, baby, and I'll show you a good time." This came from some creep in the middle of the throng.

"Oh? Why don't you come out so you can play with me? If I can't see you we can't have fun…" TenTen's voice was sensual and made the other girls laugh.

"Right here!" The man stood up and waved at TenTen, who batted her eyes and stretched out her neck, showing off the skin of her neck and breast the V-neck of her shirt exposed. She was having way too much fun with this guy.

The muscular man lifted himself from his seat and lumbered over to her, pulling her aside. He leaned against the wall with TenTen playfully hanging off his arm and making shocked expressions at his show of strength. He lifted her like she was a delicate ballerina, which Sakura and everyone else who was acquainted with TenTen knew she definitely was  _not._

"Have you ever been with a real ninja before?" He asked with an arrogant tilt of his head. TenTen played dumb and twirled a loose strand of hair.

"No. Actually, I've never even met one before," she said sadly. "Have you?"

"Baby, you're lookin at one right now." The man lowered his head and plastered a gross smile on his face that made Sakura wince.  _What an embarrassment…_

"Is he for real?" Temari leaned over and whispered to Hinata, who shook her head and watched in wonder.

"This is gonna be good," Ino said.

"What do you mean?" Sakura asked. "Has she done this before?"

"Oh yeah."

"Wow, you've completed over five hundred missions?! That's amazing!"

"Mh-hmm," he said and nodded his head. Smoothly, he brought his hand up and slapped TenTen's ass. She nearly swore in her anger, but covered that up with a loud giggle. "You like that?" TenTen nodded, and then he reached up to grab her breast. "How about this…?"

"About as much as you'd like this," TenTen said and leaned close to his ear. His hand paused in mid-air.

Her nails dug into soft flesh as she tore at the crotch of his pants and held onto the precious contents. The man doubled over and obviously fought back tears at TenTen's unexpected iron grip. She smirked and leaned even closer. The stray hair she played with earlier tickled the man's lips and reminded him of the glorious moments before when he was the one in charge. When TenTen's grip tightened, a strange sound parted his lips and his face turned a startling shade of orange.

"What? You don't want to play with me anymore?"

In the end, the manager came running in and took care of the limping man, suggesting the girl's leave and stir up trouble elsewhere. As much as she had been drinking, TenTen found this unfair and tried to defend herself. Loudly. And with repetition. So, she was arrested by some off-duty shinobi. As was Ino when she jumped up to defend her friend by using her Mind Transfer technique (daddy wasn't too happy to hear this). Sakura caught Ino's body and was accused of assisting the assault of an officer. Hinata quailed behind Temari, who smirked at the powerless men who advanced on her.

All in all, fifteen chuunin were taken down, three fires were started, one woman lost her wig in said fire, and everyone found out about Ino's tramp stamp when she ducked away from a lunging guard and he ripped her shirt. Of course, being a drunken Ino, she yelled rape and made the group of kunoichi stop to laugh. Everyone else in the café cheered them on, too, which only made the situation that much worse. They ended up spending the weekend in detainment before Tsunade came in with her hands on her hips, shoe tapping in agitation against the concrete floor, and face flushed with sake.

Sakura laughed quietly to herself, but stopped when she heard something shift on the floor. She looked across the room and saw a heap of blankets on the floor beside a barren portion of wall. There was a shiki futon not too far from her own, which she realized she hadn't even fallen asleep on in the first place. Glowing buds of fire bloomed in the dark of the room and she gasped sharply.

"What are you doing in here?"

"This is my room."

She looked down at the bed she was sleeping on.  _I slept in this monster's bed?_  She threw off the blanket, leapt from the bed, and landed on the tatami mat floor in silence. A cold draft of air tickled her skin, so she reached out to tighten her cloak around her. There was no cloak. And when she moved her arms she realized she wasn't wearing the halter top either. She looked down at her body and saw she was wearing her mesh undershirt and underwear as her only clothing. Her face glowed almost as bright as Itachi's eyes when she understood her literal nakedness before him.

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STARING AT ME? YOU'RE SICK! DID YOU TAKE OFF MY CLOTHES WHEN YOU PUT ME IN BED? DID YOU LIKE THE SHOW, YOU PERVERT? BASTARD!" She kicked him across the face with the flat of her foot and fervently searched for her cloak.

"I—It's in the wash. I didn't think you would wake up before me." Itachi picked himself up while he rubbed his swollen cheek—was he red with an imminent bruise or a blush? She gritted her teeth, eyes blazing white with the lack of any sense or iris.

"STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED!"

She whipped the thick blanket from the bed and wrapped it around herself while she flipped the mattress over on top of him. She slammed her foot against it where she hoped his face was pressed beneath and left the room to get her clothes. She decided today would be a good day to buy new outfits.

"If you look at me, Kisame, I swear to the gods," she said. Kisame blanched and poked his head into Itachi's bedroom.

After she let herself out of the bathroom and plopped onto the couch unceremoniously, Itachi set a plate of breakfast in front of her. She didn't want to eat it for the immature fear that poisoned it, so she pushed it away. He left it there and returned to the kitchen. After the two finished they disappeared outside, leaving Sakura to fend for herself for an hour. When they came back, they sat in the living room with her.

"So, we have some news for you," Kisame began. "You might not like it."

She cocked an eyebrow, arms crossed over her chest.

"Hidan and Kakuzu are dead," Itachi said. "We'll be your new teammates." Sakura blanched.

"No way! I'm not staying with you two pervs. Why can't I pair with Kiwa and Zetsu?"

"You're already here with us," Itachi said. Sakura fumed.

"Fine."

Later that morning, she pulled Kisame aside and asked if it was alright for her to go to town soon.

"Not by yourself. We always move in two-man cells whenever we go somewhere. I'm busy today, so Itachi'll have to go with you."

She wasn't sure whether or not she preferred going to town with Itachi or keeping her wardrobe at the bare minimum one and a half outfits. While she showered, she figured she could ditch him sooner or later once they were at the market plaza. She refused to speak with Itachi, so Kisame had to play the middle man and told him of her plans for the morning. He acquiesced and followed her quietly along the dirt road winding through the trees. Kisame was kind enough to lend her his own cloak, which fit on her not well at all; the enormous robes kept slipping over her shoulders. The hideout was a couple miles from town, which gave her the opportunity to lose herself in the nature around her.

A vendor along the street leading to a clothes store sold fresh picked fruits and vegetables. Sakura couldn't contain her excitement even with Itachi walking alongside her. The woman who sold the food widened her eyes at the sight of the Akatsuki. Her stomach turned to liquid at the thought of someone from Konoha recognizing her. Her hand reached behind her so subtly no one could have noticed, not until the shops suffocated on her smoke bombs.

"Your hair," she said, "I've never seen anything like it. It's so pretty." The happy elderly woman reached around a box packed with star fruit and grabbed a handful of cherries. She put them in a paper sack and handed it to her with a bright smile. "Here you are, Miss Akatsuki."

"Ah! Th—Thank you, ma'am," she said. "And may I have some of your apricots?"

After she spent as little money as she could on the fruit stands she noticed Itachi eyed the cafés they passed. She smirked at this and turned into one with a pretty sign and seats surrounding a lush koi pond. She sipped her tea and watched the fish roll around each other and fight for the biggest bits of food she tossed into the water. She looked up and noticed Itachi was sitting on the grass with a leg drawn up while his steaming cup of tea sat unattended. His eyes were closed and he leaned back on one outstretched arm and rested the other on the unbuttoned opening of his cloak. His midnight hair tossed around in the breeze. He looked so young.

She resented him for his façade of peace while he was part of an active organization bent on killing innocent people. She clenched her cup tightly enough that it cracked. Startled, she looked down at her reflection on the rippling surface of the cold green tea. She sighed and stood up, holding the tea close.

"Where are you going?"

"I need to use the restroom. Wanna watch me do that too?" She said. He didn't flinch. He stayed in his reclined position and enjoyed the weather. She resented him even more for never angering.

"Thank you, please come again soon, Miss Akatsuki," the barmaid said.

"Uh, s—sure."

The acceptance—no, reverence—everyone flattered her with just for her Akatsuki cloak made her uncomfortable. Had these people no shame? Didn't they know who Akatsuki was and what they did? She quickly shook her head at these thoughts and walked through the front door of the café (it had all been a ploy to sneak away from Itachi). It was wrong of her to speak like she wasn't a part of that organization anymore, though. It was her life now, for better or worse. She was a Konoha defect (even though she still wore her unblemished headband on her waist), she was a rogue ninja (even though she cried on the inside for home every night), and she was a classified member of the criminal organization of Akatsuki (even though she would never remember any of it, even though she was only a hired hand, even if it was just for the sake of her village and fellow man). She clenched her fists inside her sleeves at these thoughts and wished she could change the world to be better. She hated the way it was. She felt so lost, confused, and faithless. Where was she supposed to go in a world like this?

In the end she walked along the streets aimlessly. She intended to explore the village a little and get out of the stuffy air of the hideout, but now she could only brood. The small mismatched buildings passed her by because she couldn't take her eyes off the dusty ground. She weaved her way through the crowd and spoke politely when she needed to, but she couldn't pull herself out of this dark hole. The dark hole that always found her and swallowed her up no matter what.

"No thank you, I'm just looking," Itachi said. His voice was quiet, but Sakura could practically feel it burn her skin. She slowly turned around and saw Itachi with a plaster mask in hand. She thought it looked like the weasel from a local Konoha nursery rhyme, which she found oddly fitting and ironic all at once.

"Damn it, how did he find me!" She whispered fiercely and hid her face behind someone's shoulder.

She took off down the street in the opposite direction of where she needed to be in the vain hope that what happened just now was a coincidence. She doubled over and held her knees in a tight grip. She was breathless and stood on top of a hill that sloped down to a populated beach. Dozens of kids already splashed each other with water, eager to start swimming season. She thought the stark contrast between the weather in isolated mountains and tropical islands would give her whiplash, especially if she went through another climate change.

A familiar chakra response spilled dread all over her. She shivered from head to toe with nausea. Up above her, sitting in the tree she leaned against, was Itachi. He leaned back on one arm, rested the other in his cloak, and let the wind tussle his hair like he the only thing that changed since the café was his surroundings. She squeaked and groaned, then fell against the tree. He pulled out a kunai and twirled it around his finger for a moment, then let it slowly stop. He tipped his finger down and the kunai cut the air and embedded itself in her shoulder, causing her to disappear in a puff of smoke. A thick tree limb lay in her place.

She laughed complacently and bolted down the crowded street toward the clothes shop. An hour of screwing around with Itachi and she finally lost him.  _I know he probably didn't fall for it, but at least it bought me some time,_  she thought. She burst through the front door of the store and nearly had a heart attack. She screamed and clutched her chest, falling back and swooning in a circle until she faced Itachi again.

"Why do you keep following me? Leave me alone!" She stormed around him and flung herself into a rack of clothes in the hopes of at least not having to look at the ugly man.  _Well, not that he's_ actually _ugly, because he's honestly quite handsome. Damn charismatic prick, making me admire his monstrosity of an appearance…not literally a monstrosity, though, be—_  "Ooh, those are cute!"

After he was satisfyingly preoccupied with a small group of fan girls, she discretely paid for her new clothes and left the store without setting off the bells at the door. Oh, how she loved being a kunoichi at moments like this.  _Wait, am I actually having fun with this?_  She frowned at herself and ran down the alley beside the store. She ran slower this time and with her arms moving with her legs, trying not to call too much attention to herself. Maybe people wouldn't see a  _rogue ninja in an Akatsuki robe—fuck, I'm stupid._

"Ah!"

Sakura felt her hair forcefully yanked and she fell back hard on her tail end, dropping her plastic sack into a pile of refuse.

"Itachi! What the hell is your problem? You didn't have to go that far," she said. She reached back and grabbed his hand, pushing a pressure point when she knew it wouldn't really work on him.

"Too bad I don't feel any pain," a filthy voice said in her ear. Chills crept over her skin and her eyes widened.

"Who are you?"

The man tugged at her hair again and caused her to grit her teeth. What was all that training with Kisame for if she couldn't protect herself? She remembered Sasuke, Naruto, and Kakashi always protecting her on missions; she was never out of their sight for long. Then Tsunade poured her heart out over Sakura's training and this is where she ended up? On her soaking ass in a disgusting alley with some random cretin counting her down and out. She regretted not cutting her hair again when she had the chance before the mission to Nature, otherwise she wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. She reached for her kunai with the intention to cut her hair when she suddenly stopped.

"Huh? Chickened out already?" The man said.

No. She wouldn't do anything no matter how self-deprecating this time around. She would come out of this street side fight full and with this man begging for mercy. She used her hands as leverage and flipped herself up in a handstand to face him and then brought her knees down on his shoulders. She pulled herself around and up and dug her knees into his shoulders, his arms momentarily limp with the application of her knee caps on a pressure point. Slowly, her black and vermillion cloak settled around the man's body.

"Didn't count for the length of my hair, moron," she said near his ear.

With a small burst of energy, she lifted herself up in the air the smallest height and sent him crashing to his knees. She came slowly following after and smashed her knees on either side of his head, knocking him out. She landed on the ground beside him with the soft tap of her sandals and looked at him with a scowl.

"Look for the robe next time," she said and stepped over his body to pick up the sack of now soiled clothes. "Man! These are probably ruined," she mumbled under her breath but stuck them under her arm nonetheless. She didn't have anything else to do for the day other than work on her medical scrolls and she felt at a loss with that. She would do laundry today, cook a nice lunch for two (which she internally emphasized), and practice taijutsu in ambush situations with Kisame.

"Two man cells my ass," she said when she passed Itachi on the couch at the hideout. He smirked in reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, please review this story. ;-; I'm seriously losing my faith in this work...


	13. The Guilty Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can take the littlest thing and make it the angstiest bitch. XD Gomen. :)
> 
> Hugest shout out uhvar to Ncykyyi. She has stuck with this story through and through and I am elated to have her praise. Thank you so much. I love you so dearly you have no idea. XD This one's for you.

 

**Chapter Twelve**

**The Guilty Party**

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Forced to room with Itachi, Sakura went to sleep with a scowl on her face and her eyes darting at Itachi to make sure he didn't try anything funny. Her anxiety woke her several times throughout the night and she always found her back to him like he wasn't a serial killer. She flipped over to face him and glared because he made her nights a pain in the ass. He refused to sleep in Kisame's room, and Kisame refused to let Sakura sleep in his room; sleeping in the living room might have been ideal if Kisame didn't exercise so loudly and profusely.

How did someone manage to exercise  _profusely_  anyway? She snorted and rolled onto her back.

Rooming was easier to bear when they left the hideout in Whirpool. They each slept in their own individual rooms on the boat they took from Uzu to Nadeshiko in Water Country where they were going to stay for another three nights to give her an opportunity to further study the Red Death without interruption. Again, progress was bare minimum to the point she hardly slept at all to make up for the lack of progress. She began to understand exactly how the antidote eradicated the disease and why it left Gaara's body so rapidly: the disease was defending itself, prolonging its existence by escaping through the skin and essentially "hibernating."

This was as far as she got on that front, though. Sadly, she started dreaming about her research and even woke up a few occasions with words of complaint on her lips. She liked to think Itachi never heard her since she woke up so early. Generally speaking, she was awake well before dawn. Her sleeping habits were certainly degrading, but she wanted to get this over with as soon as possible. The quicker she cured this disease the quicker she could forget she ever had a hand in the Akatsuki's affairs.

One morning, however, it wasn't her own frustrating abnormality that woke her. It was Itachi; more precisely, it was his  _coughing._  Incessant, at that. He coughed harshly to the point she feared he might strain his esophagus or rupture capillaries in his eyes and lungs. She almost said something to him, but fear of rejection pressed her deeper into the mattress. How was she supposed to offer her services to a man as frightening and evil as Itachi? They were teammates, yes, and by that alone she should have shoved down her petty anxieties and help him. He sounded so miserable, gagging on something like mucus. But she didn't do anything. She squeezed her eyes shut and pretended Itachi didn't sound like he was dying. She did her best to pretend she didn't care.

Nadeshiko was a metallic city even on the sparsely populated outskirts where they walked, which didn't do well because of the perpetual mist that swallowed up the village. Rust crawled across most of the buildings and Sakura thought that was almost decorative until a portion of building collapsed on her. Luckily, Itachi carried her to safety while Kisame deflected stray debris. She yanked herself free from his hold and roughly resituated her cloak, then walked in some careless direction.

"Planning to happen on the hideout?" Kisame said as he strolled up next to her. She blushed and nibbled on her lip.

"Well, where is it?"

"Just up ahead and around the tea shop there. It's about ten miles straight out from there. But first we should get something to eat."

After they ate and started on the last phase of their journey to the hideout, for which Sakura was thankful because her feet felt like they were about to rot off, she found herself strategizing. Not about the next ambush or how to proceed with her medical research, but about how best to avoid Itachi without making it look like she was. She decided to go for an old trick in the book. She tripped and loosened her shoe when she did, then stopped to fit it back on properly.

"Ah, sorry guys," she said with an apologetic smile. They stopped a few meters away when they noticed she lagged behind.

She jogged a few feet to catch up, but slowed down once they started to walk. She didn't like being where Itachi could see her without her seeing him too. It made her uncomfortable, the way his eyes could just see the power coursing through her, see every move she was about to make, and have it seem like he could see so much more. The feeling made her skin crawl even when she wasn't in his line of vision. She felt a sudden burst of an icy chill and rubbed her hands together to warm the life back into them.

When Sakura felt the thick rope hit her shoulders she barely had the reaction time to keep herself from dropping to her knees. She didn't feel razors carved into it or chakra pulsing through it. But the tightening of the rope and the lively writhing clued Sakura in this might be more than just a mere ambush she'd been practicing for. Something flicked against her face and tickled her cheek. She looked over and came face to face with a black and white snake. Every muscle in her body twitched and clenched, then immediately froze.

"Hey, Sakura," Kisame said and slowed his pace, "what are you—holy hell what is  _that?!"_

"I—I… It's a—a tropical mummer's bard," she said in a deathly quiet voice.

"What does that mean? Just flick it off! Here, I'll—"

"Kisame, no," Itachi said, "the mummer's bard is a very dangerous snake."

"With a ridiculous name," Kisame said and rolled his eyes.

"It's called a mummer's bard because it's black and white like a mime, but makes its victims 'sing' with their agony when its venom attacks their nervous system. However, the venom restricts the throat which keeps them from actually making any sound, but it's obvious they're in agony. The venom actually has nothing to do with killing their prey, though—it does nothing but leave them unconscious from the pain. It's rare for one to attack a human, so…"

"So?"

"So I'm not sure how we should deal with this."

"YOU GUYS ARE S-RANK MISSING-NIN WHO CAN'T DEAL WITH A FUCKING SNAKE. FANTASTIC. I'M GONNA DIE."

As soon as Sakura jerked in her anger, the snake lashed out and bit her right temple. She screamed out and fell over. The snake wriggled even more and snapped at Sakura again, but Itachi nailed it through the head with a kunai. The snake's dead body struggled against the kunai and fought for lifeless freedom, but quickly fell limp. Kisame let go of Samehada's handle and placed the hand on his waist.

She was still for a moment, curled in on herself with her arms crumpled beneath her. And then she flattened herself on her back and widened her mouth and eyes. From this far away, both shinobi could see the blood vessels pop in her white eyes. Her mouth stretched as far as her face would allow, and even began to tear at the corners. Her entire person was contorted with the agony in her body she couldn't release. She was so desperate to get the pain out of her, the pure torture that coursed through her veins and set every cell on fire and shredded them.

Itachi put her under a genjutsu and she was no longer in pain.

 

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She flitted in and out of agonizing consciousness. She didn't understand what happened, why she felt so  _horrible_ , like she was about to die. She could taste death on her blue lips and she  _welcomed_  it.  _Take me,_  she cried,  _please, gods, just take me._

She heard voices when her eyes flared open. They warped together and made twisted hybrids. She asked them to shut up but they always let their voices rage on to eat her ears. She felt so sick and preferred the blackness where she just floated, sinking and rising with the breeze of some unknown wind. When this peace ended she thrashed against the waves of pain that shook her body. She cried and wailed like this for a few minutes before she fell into a sleep riddled with terror.

When the pain ebbed away she was too afraid to believe it was happening. The weight of the uncontained agony pressed her onto the searing hot ground until she imagined she was a flattened pile of puking ashes. She hated her body for the way it felt like this, how hungry and thirsty was, and that she even thought about that when she was dying so slowly and painfully.

"Let go of me!" She screeched at the top of her lungs when she felt something huge and firm wrap around her arms. "Stop it, stop it, just make it all stop for gods' sake!"

"Sakura!"

Her eyes flew open. There wasn't any pain that blinded her, no rubber bones, or a split head. No, all of that was gone and replaced with hardly any sensation at all. Just the cold air of the room, the thrum of the air conditioner, and the breathing and beating of two hearts. Sasuke held her at arm's length, but she obviously managed to lash out at him; there were scratches, old and new, littered across his cheeks. His bottom lip was split and swollen and that made her want to kiss him better.

"Sasuke," she said. "Sasuke. Sasuke. Sasuke."

She tried to hold his face, but he pushed her hand away and laid her against the pillows surrounding her messy halo of cherry pink hair. She looked up at him and thought he never looked more beautiful. When did he come back? Had he fight Itachi, found her, and saved her from the Akatsuki? She wanted to thank him, but her voice was lost in her parched throat. He held a cup of water to her cracked lips and she drank from the cool glass greedily.

"Not too much," he said.

She laid her head down again and stared up at him, mesmerized, until she fell asleep with pretty dreams about him in Konoha again. But those always morphed into something darker.

"I promise you I'll bring Sasuke back! I won't ever go back on my word, Sakura. That's my ninja way!" Naruto gave her an excited thumbs up with the brightest smile she ever saw. She cried harder and held herself.

_I didn't mean for you to give your life to me._

"Hey, Sakura, guess what? I'm going off with Pervy Sage to train and become the Hokage! I'm gonna be such a great shinobi Sasuke won't be able to  _touch_  me when I fight him! Just you wait, Sakura, I'll bring him back. I haven't forgotten my promise—my shinobi way, remember?" He looked so happy on his way to travel across the Five Great Nations, but inside she was so angry with herself for driving him away like that.

_Don't sacrifice yourself for a stupid promise._

"Sakura! I'm back! I'm so strong now, can't you tell? I'll kick Sasuke's ass!" He flexed his arms and made a funny face for her, offering a little of his pride for her like he always used to.

_Don't kill yourself for me._

_Don't do anything for me._

_Forget about me._

_I'm sorry._

_Naruto._

"Naruto," she said.

His name was so painful on her lips. Tears stabbed her eyes and she reached up to furiously rub them away. Her arms were stiff with bandages, which confused her. Wait, what happened? She looked around, confused. Her heart beat audibly louder, painfully so, at her anxiety. She was so afraid of the truth of the moment she wanted to fall back into the pillows and forget she ever woke up. The memories came back all at once, like one enormous explosion that took her breath away. She flinched at the raw memory of the pain, the memory of which made her skin come alive with fretting butterfly kisses.

She shook her head and brought a hand to touch her damp forehead. Her matted bangs clung to her hot skin. She was aching all over, uncomfortable for the length of time she spent in bed. She dragged her legs over the edge and carefully pushed herself up. It was like her legs had stiffened with rigor mortis. They collapsed beneath her like the pillars of the First Gods' castle against the Godschildren in the beginning of time. Her knees hit the floor hard and she didn't have the strength in her to do anything but let gravity do its dirty work. She watched with dissociated horror as her head tipped over to strike the edge of the shiki futon. But instead she fell into Itachi's arms.

"I—ta—" she started but stopped herself. She flipped over and tried to worm her way from his grasp, but he held her fast. She was too weakened to fight him. "Let go," she said in a sigh.

"I can't."

"And why—is that?"

"You won't let go."

She looked and saw how tightly she clenched the sleeve of his shirt. His Akatsuki cloak was somewhere else, but Sakura didn't think about this. She just thought about how warm he was, how  _alive_  he was, and that's all she wanted; she wanted someone who was alive and knew human emotions existed and what to do with them, even if in the most awkward way. But who was she kidding? This was Itachi the monster, not some human. She forced herself to let go which physically pained her, and she pushed him away. He leaned back with the push of her hand and her face scrunched in anger at this.

"Fuck you," she sobbed, "don't patronize me."

She reached for the edge of the shiki futon and struggled to pull herself to her feet. He reached out to help her, but she weakly slapped his hand away and sent him a nasty glare. She crawled onto the other futon like the disgusting worm she felt she was, and rolled onto her back and lifted herself up. She looked at him and saw pity dance in his red eyes, but otherwise he held no expression. He was just that emotionless shell he always was.

 _Where had that warmth gone…she swore she felt it…some cry for life within him…some desperate, last ditch effort to_ live.

"Why would someone like  _you_  help me?" Her tongue felt thick and she knew her words were slow and slurred, but she didn't care. She didn't care about courtesy or manners or what was expected of her. She only cared about getting this pressure off her cracking shoulders.

"You're my teammate. That's what teammates do."

"So you'd help a random stranger who's paid to fix something you guys fucked up, but you'd kill your entire clan? Where the hell is the logic in that, Itachi Uchiha? Where's—"

"You don't have to remind me who I am, Sakura Haruno." As out of her right mind as she was, the insult was clear and stung; Sakura Haruno, the weak and protected one. "You have no right to talk of that which you know absolutely nothing about. I would suggest you quit while you were ahead, otherwise our  _teamwork_  will be less efficient."

_That look in his eyes…it's…_

Sakura curled into an upright ball in the bathtub. The warm water lapped at her breasts, a nice change of pace from the cold of her room.  _Cold is to slow the heartbeat…slow the heartbeat to slow blood flow…slow blood flow to slow the progression of the contents in the blood…_  She recited this over and over to ease the pain that racked her bony shoulders. It didn't help. She whispered this over and over to hear its echo off the tiled walls. It didn't help. She said it aloud to hear the words resound in the vaulted bathroom.  _It didn't help._

She clutched at her head, shook even harder, and felt the familiar ache of tears in her eyes, but nothing leaked from them. Dehydrated to the point she couldn't even cry, she slammed her head into the tiled wall. She didn't want to see that look in Itachi's eyes anymore. She hated the way it made her insides twist and churn, made her head hot and cold at the same time, and made the pain come back to her scabbed arms. She couldn't take that look in his sad eyes, that…that…that  _guilt._

 

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Her hair grew to an uncomfortable length. During her first few days of consciousness it clung to her sweaty face in thick clumps. Her hair managed to grow uneven and matted easily because of her sickness and lack of hygiene. She figured she might cut it in a belated celebration of her personal victory over that man who attacked her in Whirpool. The end of her hair barely graced the beginnings of her thighs which frustrated her because she would often pull it when moving around in a seat or standing up from one.

"I think I might cut my hair," she said one morning. Kisame and Itachi sat in the bedroom with her to keep her company. They ate breakfast together and played a card game.

"What's wrong with it?" Itachi asked. She looked over at his slumped form. He brought his arm up and coughed (for just a little too long) into the crook of his bare elbow. She sniffed and glared at the hand of cards Kisame dealt her.

She tied her hair off in a high ponytail.

It took her a few days to gain her strength back to the point where she could perform basic motor functions on her own. The venom took five days to work its way through her system, had its way with her. Eventually, Kiwa sent word of a concoction that would hasten the venom's attack, but also double its pain. They took the trade off since they needed their medic back as quickly as possible; the Red Death wouldn't cure itself and no one forgot that. Kiwa also sent Sakura a reminder as to why she had been requested to accept Akatsuki's outstretched hand.

"Like I'd forget," she said, "like I can't tell what you're really saying to me." Akatsuki was displeased with her lack of progress. The threats in the letter weren't hidden well and she could tell that was done on purpose. She crumbled the letter in her fist and threw it in a small tin bucket.

She burned the contents of the bucket; the heat felt good on her skin and she needed to feel like she had power over something in her life. Strings pulled against everything around her and she didn't know which way she needed to look to find someone with a will of their own. The whole of Konoha had a will of its own, one named the Will of Fire. She craved that, and she still felt it burning inside her, but there was no way for her to act on the desire. What was done was done. This was her lot, she decided long ago.

Sakura stank. She had only taken the one shower right after she woke up, and that was all she was willing to take. She passed out the first time and that forced Itachi to break in and pull her out before she drowned. He ignored the small bud of pink on the shower wall. He pretended he never saw the blood on her forehead. She covered it with her uneven and overgrown bangs. Now she could easily maneuver around the building without supervision, which made her feel more comfortable. She and Itachi didn't speak after their initial confrontation.

She didn't think twice when she walked past the mirror. She didn't notice anything about her body when she washed up. She was on autopilot. Frustration moved her, her desire to forget Itachi could feel, and feel something so real and tangible. She shook her head and tossed the used washrag across the bathroom into the hamper and moved around to wash the suds off her body. She toweled herself dry and dressed in a pair of blue short pants with a red shirt. They felt oddly baggy, but that was to be expected. She had lost weight during her mini coma of sorts, which didn't bother her when she thought about making it up with muscle mass in the days to come. But as she looked at herself, that was different. She looked _dead._

Her thighs lost so much fat and muscle they didn't touch anymore; in fact, she could place her palms against each other and put them between her legs and there would still be room for them to touch air. Her hips poked out, her elbows were knobby, her shoulders looked too wide, and her clavicle could be traced from beginning to end. Her chin had a sharp point and her cheek bones were obvious, but when she looked at her eyes, that's when the tears stung. Her left eye green and right eye brown.

"Has it been like this the whole time? I can be such an airhead," she said in an attempt to lighten the mood. She didn't like the way this low felt after the taste of happiness was so fresh on her tongue.

She manipulated a small amount of chakra to change the color back to green. Immediately, she discovered she couldn't. Her eye and the areas surrounding felt like chakra dead spots. Her right eye felt like a nonexistent black hole in terms of medical ninjutsu and chakra sight. Like her initial blindness in her right eye when she first lost sight in it, turning her mind's eye in along with her chakra left her feeling blindsided. She pushed chakra to the ends of where she could go to assess the problem, but came back with nothing. The chakra points there were dead, rigid with the lack of circulation.

The brown eye stared at her in the mirror and she swore she saw a small glimpse of TenTen in them. The sight after so long an absence kicked started her heart. She felt like she was sprinting nonstop around the walls of Konoha. She wiped at her eyes and looked back up, but the brown in her eye gleamed with a petrifyingly familiar wicked playfulness.

_Mh-hmm. You like that? How about this…_

_About as much you'd like this._

 

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

Kisame occupied himself with dinner while Itachi read. This was the perfect time for Sakura to do what she needed to. How long had it been? She couldn't even remember, but that didn't matter. Tonight. Definitely tonight. She picked out a thin set of pajamas to sleep in and eagerly made her way to the bathroom. Lucky for her, the shower had a tub and a detachable shower head. A wicked smile gleamed in her mismatched eyes. That was just the decoy, though. A clone. Sakura's real fun would be in the bedroom.

She leapt onto her bed and buried herself beneath the plush comforters, snuggling into the pillows behind her. Her shirt hitched up a little from the movement, a small convenience. She trailed her fingers up her pale stomach slowly, teasing sensitive places; her other hand rested on the pillow beside her head and gently tugged at her hair. Her busy hand reached beneath the fabric of her shirt to tease a naked breast, delicately pinching a pert nipple between two fingers.

Her hair caressed her face, but all she could think about were those inky tresses. That warm, ashy breath fanning over her neck, fiery eyes never breaking eye contact... She couldn't cope with these subtle touches anymore. She needed that warm high to envelop her, carry her to that tranquil land where everything was peace. She slipped a hand in her pants and traced a finger along her lips. But it wasn't her. It was another hand, a larger one, but it was still soft and slender...gentle in its movements...it was  _his._

"I—"

The door cracked open, but she didn't hear it.

"Ta—"

The door gently bounced off the wall. It was a small sound, but it startled her into reality. Her eyes flew open when she realized what she was about to say and nearly screamed at the image of Itachi standing in the doorway. He watched her with wide, wide eyes, a scarlet more red than his Sharingan decorating his cheeks. Immediately, she yanked her hand out of her pants and flew up from her place beneath the covers, slamming herself against the wall.

"Wh—What in the hell do you think you're doing, Itachi? Why didn't you knock, huh?" Sakura shook the embarrassment from her hot face, turning it into anger. "You asshole! Just coming in here like you own the place!" Her voice was unnaturally high, tears smarted her eyes, and she shook. Itachi almost felt bad for her. Until she tried to kill him.

She slung herself from the bed, her pants slipping down her hips to reveal the blue underwear beneath. She swung a fist at him, which he barely dodged. He tried his best to keep his eyes on her own, he really did, but...but the milky skin he saw on her thigh...the sweet smell of  _her_  made it impossibly difficult for him to focus.

"Get out, you perv!"

"I—I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"

Sakura whirled around and kicked at him, meaning only to maneuver him out of the room. She slammed the door shut and locked it (how the hell had she forgotten the first time?!), bending over to catch her breath. Her face was so flushed it hurt. Had she really just been caught? And she thought she covered it up so well. But no, apparently not.

The memory of fantasizing about Itachi touching her in such intimate places made her blush ever brighter. She shook this off, though. She wasn't exposed to any other good looking guys. In fact, he was the only one she saw on a regular basis, which is how she justified her thoughts. She couldn't accept the possibility she was actually sexually attracted to a man like him. She fell on her bed and let herself crumple onto the sheets. Had she really just referred to him as a human being? Itachi Uchiha? She closed her eyes and shook her head. She was really screwed. When the memories of the clone came to her she only felt more disheartened. Great. So it wasn't a spur of the moment thing.

Later that night, Itachi attempted to enter their bedroom, but found it locked. He knocked, but Sakura refused to let him in. She told him to fuck off, which only made him wince and slink away. She didn't like to be mean to him like that, she realized. Yeah, he deserved it, but...but what? She flipped over onto her back and stared at the ceiling. A quarter of an hour later, she was still wide awake, no hint of sleep teasing her eyelids. A door bursting open down the hallway made her jump and bolt upright.

"Like you don't!"

She sensed Itachi's chakra storm down the hallway.

"Kisame...like Sakura..." This came from Itachi and she thought she heard him swear, but it was hard to imagine that coming from him. "...shinobi are you two?" His voice was easier to hear passing her door, but then faded away into the living room.

Sakura could only snicker.


	14. Her Rock and His Peach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been trying to move away from angst and go into a happier (albeit still a bit of a downer) arc. Also, please comment on the believability of how I'm working Itachi and Sakura's developing relationship. I hope it's realistic. A wonderful friend of mine has been helping me out with this, and she's even clued me in on aspects of their relationship I could develop that would make this all the more heartbreaking. ^^
> 
> And the thing with Sakura's chakra is my honest headcanon. :)
> 
> Enjoy, ja ne!

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Her Rock and His Peach**

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"Aren't you sick of being cooped up in the bathroom?"

"No."

"Don't you want to feel the sun on your skin, hear the birds chirp, and smell the flowers like all the other normal little girls?"

"Do I  _look_  like a normal girl to you? And by the way, I'm eighteen you asstard!"

"But don't you want to feel like one on the inside?"

"Kisame!"

"So you're really sure you don't want me to take you to get your hair done?"

"Ew."

"Kisame, stop messing around, we're meeting the client today," Itachi said in passing. He shut the door to his bedroom behind him in his exit. Kisame lightly glared at him, and then turned to look back at the bathroom door.

"I need to shower," he said.

"No."

"Is this what I get for being so nice to you?" He heard Sakura sigh at this.

Ever since she found out her right eye was brown again and there was nothing she could do about it she took to hiding herself away in some room or another. Her right eye turned brown because the snake's venom overloaded her chakra points around its bite on her face; they exploded and fell completely useless.

At first she locked herself in Itachi's room. Then, when he needed to sleep, she would hide in the closet (Kisame often snorted at this fact, which left her bewildered and frustrated). Now it was the bathroom. He rested his head on the door frame and prepared himself for the best motivational speech he could muster.

"Hey, I know you look like a weird-eyed freak, but that doesn't mean you have to act like one. I mean, look at me: blue skin, gills, partnered with," he trailed off and looked in the direction of Itachi's room. "But anyway. You don't see me acting like a gilled, blue skin freak monster. I've found some humanity in me. And how about you? Acting just like you look."

 _Great inspirational speech, Kisame. But actually, I think this one was nicer than the last._  She cringed at his words, but learned at this point not to take them to heart. He tended not to understand much of what people really felt. She stood up from the edge of the bathtub and unlocked the door. He pushed it open with his foot and lifted his hands up like he was saying  _well?_

"I should write a book, huh?"

"It would be so popular…"

As it turned out, their potential client Yuu Takubachi was the great nephew of Rice Country's daimyo. They picked him up from his luxurious home on the southern island of Rice and Sakura decided immediately she didn't like him. He yelled at everyone in his caravan, including his five-year-old stepson. She moved to defend the little boy when Yuu smacked the back of his head for dropping an expensive plate, but Itachi held her back. She angrily shrugged him off and listened when Yuu raised his hand.

"You will guard the right side," Yuu said and pointed at Itachi, "you on the left and blue man in the front." She barely glimpsed Kisame's darkening face before Itachi quietly guided him away from Yuu.

The caravan moved through the forests of Tea and left everything behind it trampled and lifeless. The train of wagons and horses was half a mile long and filled with more servants than the lords and ladies could put to work. Many servants stood around at night and looked clueless, which Sakura tried to fix by interacting with them. They didn't seem to trust her, though, and she didn't blame them. She hardly trusted herself these days.

If she had to pick her favorite thing about the procession she decided it would be the people's accent. All of the servants were tan and dark of hair and eyes. Their tongues lilted the language they spoke, and she found it beautiful and calming.  _These people must be natives of the continental divide._  She would have enjoyed asking them questions, but they all seemed to avoid her; a wide birth surrounded her.  _For just in case,_  one woman said. It was a lie. They were all afraid of her.

Because the caravan was so large, progress along the roads of Tea was slow. The farther south they moved the larger a burst of dark clouds grew, which Yuu was determined to avoid. The angry clouds wrestled against each other, thundered their frustration and spewed rain over the caravan. Unlucky collateral they were, she found the cold rain refreshing. Kisame enjoyed it too, much to her happy surprise. She heard him shout at one of the servants to dance as he shot him with some water ninjutsu and that's when she felt like he might have gone too far. She couldn't help but laugh when Yuu switched Sakura and Kisame's positions because Kisame soaked him. She smiled in congratulations at him as he passed her and she took the lead of the caravan with indifference.

"Do you see the eyes of that girl?" One man asked another.

"Yes, there is one brown…isn't it known someone with that terrible disease ate it?"

"It is," the first replied with disbelief.

"It is said the girl ran away, left her friends for Death…"

The foreigners' whispers swirled around her when she passed them. She held her head high, nibbled her bottom lip to focus on something else, and thought over her last training session with Kisame. He taught her a new move to deflect a kick using the opponent's momentum while simultaneously immobilizing them. She played the formation over in her head, remembered the mistakes she made when she practiced on him and resolved to improve on the move tonight.

_I didn't abandon them…_

"Ikaros!"

Sakura turned around and saw a group of men huddled together. She jogged toward the throng and found a man on the ground in the center. He clutched at his stomach and looked up with dreadful eyes.

"What's wrong with him?" She asked, looking at the small group of people around her.

"Many have been sick," one said.

"What? Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"What can the girl do about it? You cannot kill the disease in Ikaros," another said. She glared at Sakura.

"I can heal him. I'm a medic." She glared back at her and she faltered at her words. "Tell me what hurts," Sakura said in a quiet voice.

"E—Everything—"

"What's going on over here? Why did you stop moving?" Yuu stormed over with his reeking cloud of perfume in tow.

"One of your servants collapsed. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with him."

"Oh, don't bother. Just leave him and let the others take care of him." Yuu waved his hand and waited for her to move, but she sat there and openly gaped at him. Abandon this helpless man? She felt sick and appalled.

"I—I can't just leave him. It's my duty to take—"

"To listen to me, girl. I hired your organization for a reason—you seem to get the job done. But if I'm wrong, maybe I should send word to your leader and tell him why I'm going to blackball the Akatsuki," he said.

She shook with her fury. She couldn't believe this man was so cold. But what could she do? Akatsuki's appearance rested on her shoulders and especially how she reacted to this situation. She clenched her fists and stood up, letting her head hang.

"Good. Now go switch places with the Uchiha. I'm tired of looking at the back of your annoying pink head. And this better be the last time I switch anything!" He shouted at the caravan around him.

"Go," she said to Itachi when she approached him. He examined her quivering expression, but didn't say anything. He went to the front of the caravan and there were no more incidents that day.

That night, however, she snuck into the servants' main tent in the hopes of finding the man who collapsed earlier. She asked around and eventually found him near the back of the camp. When she opened the flap of a large tent and stepped inside the first thing that caught her attention was the stench of death. She looked around and saw a dozen mats laid out on either side of the tent, hardly a foot of space between the patients; the tent had actually been ripped in the back and sewn onto another to make it larger. She covered her mouth with her hand and walked along the small aisle between the mats. Servants wretched here and moaned there, cried this way and babbled that way. She touched a tending woman on the shoulder.

"What is this?"

"The ill. They are sick with disease that has spread through court recently. Before the girl and her friends joined us, two elderly and one small child died." The woman's voice was detached, which frightened her. She looked at the suffering and sobbing at her feet, and raged at the cruelty surrounding her.  _Yuu…_

"How many are sick?"

"There are two more tents like this," she said in the same lilted accent as the others.

Sakura knelt beside the first man on the right at the opening and placed her hands over his chest. She concentrated her energy there and projected her chakra into his body, fearing for the worst. If this was the Red Death there was no point in guarding the caravan any farther. In fact, the best option would be to burn their bodies and save the Continental Divide the trouble of disease, but she wouldn't let that happen. No matter what Pain, Kiwa, Kisame, or Itachi said she would stick with these people and heal them no matter what it took.

To her immense satisfaction she discovered the first servant was merely ill from pneumonia. She thought this might be a coincidence so she gave him immediate treatment and a list of herbs for the servants in charge of his care to gather, but the next and the next and the last all suffered from pneumonia or some other low-class illness. After her last examination in the third tent, she concluded the Red Death was not to blame for any of the illnesses—and that she needed a better way to go about checking patients. Her chakra levels were half way depleted and she knew a single night's rest wouldn't bring enough back to her.

She left the last tent smiling and waving at a freshly healed little boy named Takumi, but doubled over when she found herself alone underneath a blooming peach tree. She looked up at it, acknowledged that it was the only fruit-bearing tree she'd seen in Tea yet, and took it as a hopeful sign from the gods. She sat beneath it and relished in the cool night breeze and the pretty sky above. It was all so tranquil and relieving after the hours' long exertion.

"You did well to help Yuu's servants," Itachi said, instantly souring her mood. She felt like buttermilk basted her insides.

"Like I care what you think," she said as harshly as she could, but her voice was quiet for the exhaustion that plagued her. Her face lit up and burned, remembering their encounter in Nadeshiko. She wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

"Will you hear me out about your chakra nature?"

"No."

He paused and placed a slender hand on the trunk of the peach tree. For some reason this made the tree less innocent and more evil. She wanted to be away from it if it was somehow related to him, even if in the most miniscule way. She stood up and took a few paces toward camp, but hesitated when he began to speak.

"Just because you don't have an elemental chakra nature doesn't mean you don't have an actual chakra nature," he said. Against her will, she had to admit he made her more than curious. She itched for him to go one with his explanation, for him to give her hope that there was some greater power lurking within her she had yet to unlock. "Luck for you, you've already accessed it without your knowing, so it'll be much easier than starting from scratch."

She crossed her arms and stuck her nose in the air.

"I'm listening."

"Fire, water, earth, lightning, and wind may be the only elemental chakra natures, all of which you lack, but they aren't the only nature types. There's a sixth one you probably have an affinity for, especially since you're so talented with medical ninjutsu and genjutsu," he said. And then it clicked.

"You mean…!"

"Yin-Yang nature."

"I remember it now. We didn't really study it at the Academy, but I remember a little about it."

"They didn't give much room for the eccentric," he said as an aside.

"The Yin deals with the imagination and spiritual energy whereas the Yang deals with the physical energy. Put together at different balances, you can perform nonelemental jutsu like medical ninjutsu, genjutsu, and techniques like that of the Nara clan." She touched her finger to her chin and thought this all over. At this angle, she could clearly see the connection between her knack for medical ninjutsu and genjutsu and how they related back to the Yin-Yang nature type. "I could do a lot with that," she said.

"Food for thought," he said.

She looked at him with a displeased expression, but one that softened from her previous anger, embarrassment still heating her cheeks. She dropped her arms and sighed, almost resenting the serenity she felt in his presence. There was an odd lack of bloodlust she thought she could usually feel. She let her head drop and nearly felt guilty for the way she treated him. He was only ever helpful and respectful to her. This person before her clashed with everything she thought she knew about Itachi Uchiha. Above her she heard something catch, and then a peach fell in front of her face. She reached out and let it plop onto her hand. The peach's skin was soft and fuzzy and it looked so ripe Sakura could just sink her teeth into it right now.

"For the record, the natural is generally preferred. And, sometimes, Mother Nature has an unexpected way of setting you up for that."

"This is a genjutsu," she said.

She turned around to meet his gaze, but he was gone. She looked down at the peach, dispelled the genjutsu, and let it fade away in the wind. She held her hand up and thought it might come back, just for a second, and then sat down.

She spent the entire night under the peach tree. Her palms pressed flat against one another hovering above her chest, her eyes closed, and her chakra flowed. The Yin-Yang nature within her flowed with her breath and danced with her heartbeat. The nature wasn't too hard to find when she conjured memories of how her chakra felt during medical ninjutsu, but manipulating it to bend under her control was a different beast entirely. She could find it easily enough, but it always slipped out of her grasp; she felt like she was trying to catch water.

Hours passed and she felt sore as hell, but she refused to move. She wouldn't move until she could take up the Yin-Yang nature and make it carry out her every want. This seemed impossible, because it refused even to come into sight. She sat there so frustrated and nearly gave up. Maybe she didn't even have the Yin-Yang nature after all. But Itachi's Sharingan didn't lie; he saw what he saw and that was that. She had to believe him. He gave her a hope she hadn't felt since Tsunade… _that maybe I'm not so useless…_

And then it happened. She held onto the slippery Yin-Yang chakra for the longest second in her life. She could feel its energy, feel its essence, and feel its desire to reach form and interact. Just as quickly it was gone. She swore loudly and pressed her hands together harder, a bead of sweat tickling her cheek as it slid down her face. The wind tossed the leaves and peaches above her, but none of that mattered. Nothing in the world mattered but that glorious moment of victory.

_If it's like catching water, then I'll just have to be water too._

Sakura felt herself swirl into a puddle of water. Her mind dizzied with the sensation and her body quivered in reaction, but she knew that was just the latent Yin-Yang nature coming to the surface.  _Yin is mind and Yang is body,_  she thought. And then she disappeared entirely. She wasn't Sakura anymore—she was water, flowing and breathing life into everything around her. She was the mental energy of the creatures around her, the heart of the wind, and the thoughts of the clouds. She was the strength in the rocks, the blood of the deer, and the steadfast roots of every tree. She was the peach tree, standing tall and thinking like anything else.

She opened her eyes, and everything around her had  _life._

It was the center in which the Yin-Yang chakra resided. This center of mental and physical balance where all of her power was generated. She stood up and felt the center of the world move with her, and she smiled at the power coursing through her veins. She laughed and danced in circles, the center of  _everything_  keeping up with her because  _she_  mattered. But as amazing as the moment was, it had to end. All at once the strength left her bones and drained her of all energy. She fell onto her back, her limbs sprawled all around her. She breathed heavily, took in the crisp night air, and looked over to see the sun peak shyly over the horizon. The virgin light of day kissed her skin and she closed her eyes.

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

"Miss Akatsuki, wake up!"

Sakura gasped and bolted upright.

"Come quick, please, we need your help!"

The boy from last night—Takumi?—led a dazed Sakura through the numerous tents of the caravan. They weaved their way through the mass of people, Sakura unable to understand what was happening because sleep still fogged her mind and the boy frantically shouted incoherent words. When they finally entered the tent the boy screeched about the entire time, she dropped to her knees and began to inspect the unconscious man.

"Did the medicine I gave out last night not work?"

"He was not here. He refused to take it; he said he was fine."

 _Idiot_ , she growled.  _If only there was a way to examine all of the villagers more quickly._  Her head snapped up at this thought. She wouldn't be able to practice it right now, but while she walked with the caravan she could.

Before anything could be done, the fever took the man she worked on. His temperature was so high and he was so weak that his body couldn't fight it. She looked at his lifeless body with a detached umbra in her eye. It wasn't so hard not to care about his passing. He was a stranger, but more importantly he ignored her medical advice. His death was his responsibility and no one else's. She refused to possess his death.

It was harder than Sakura thought it might be to find her mental and physical center while she walked. It evaded her grasp; this nearly boiled over her frustration. If she could just grab it to begin with, wrestling it down wouldn't be so hard. It was easy enough once she had it in her grasp. She decided falling behind several meters wouldn't hurt the caravan too badly. She planted her palms together and took in a deep breath, turned into water, and trickled into her Yin-Yang chakra.

_A medical jutsu where I can immediately assess what's wrong with my patient…_

"What if I…?"

She molded her Yin-Yang chakra all around her body and felt it hum against her skin, though she knew her ability was subtle and invisible to the naked eye. She pushed the silently whirring chakra (but she could feel it—oh, she could feel it like it was alive) outward to the nearest person. She gasped when she saw their physical and spiritual energy with her mind's eye. No, not see, she just seemed to know where it was and how it moved. As soon as her chakra wrapped itself around every square inch of the person, she thrust it inside them all at once with the clap of her hands.

She gasped and stumbled, losing her concentration on the jutsu, then clutched at her chest. With wide eyes and heavy breathing she looked at the pebbles littered across the ground at her feet. It was so hard to breathe…how did she breathe again? How did she walk like herself? How did she look around like herself? How was she Sakura?

"That was—" she straightened herself and looked at the person she projected her chakra into— "amazing."

She was in that person's body; she felt everything that person felt, heard everything that person heard, and saw everything that person saw—she  _was_  that person. But at the same time she was her. She was still in her body, eyes closed and focused on manipulating her chakra to her will, but then she was  _him._  He was hungry, hadn't eaten since the morning before, and he sprained his ankle a few days ago. He barely slept last night because his wife nearly died before Sakura saved her. Physically, he was weak for his poor diet and ankle; mentally, he was strong for his wife. She was his rock.

All of this in the  _split second_  her jutsu was activated.

She decided she would try to heal his ankle from a distance with this new technique. She stopped to find the center again, trickled away, and manipulated her chakra. Her energy spun around the man and enveloped him in its hale cloud. She concentrated the Yin-Yang chakra to his sprained ankle, but the nature only sat there. She put as much of her spiritual energy as she could to make up for what it lacked and found herself exhausting immediately. Her heart weighed heavily within her chest and her mind seemed to sag. And she still couldn't heal him.

"Hey."

Her knees gave out beneath her when the voice spoke up, but strong arms caught her. She clenched her eyes shut, a headache pounding against the soft spot behind her left ear. She finally looked up and saw Itachi kept her from dropping to the ground. She didn't have the strength or will to fight him off.

"I thought I sensed an unnaturally large body of chakra," he said. She could only respond to that by humming in the back of her throat.

"I found it. I worked all night and I found it." She smiled weakly and worked to stand against him.

"Good."

He left her in the care of nearby servants. He chided her not to push herself with this new technique until after they finished guiding the caravan to the Continental Divide. He promised Kisame would help her in every way he could once they were on their way north again. Before she agreed to his terms, Yuu waddled over red-faced and surrounded by a dozen fans.

"What the hell is going on? The whole left side has mucked up and— _you?_ " Yuu jabbed a chubby sausage of a finger at Sakura. "You're holding us up again? What did you do this time?"

"I was trying to heal one of your servants. He sprained his—"

"I don't care what happened to him. Is that your job, to care for my property? No, I hired you for… _for?"_

"To guard your car—"

_"To guard my damn caravan!"_

"But what happens if all of your servants get sick and die? Then who'll fan you, huh? Who's going to carry you half-way across the world if all of your servants are dead?" She breathed heavily and leaned against a servant shakily.  _You'd think no one ever stood…up…for them…before…_  "They aren't your servants," she said.

"Oh, really? Pray tell,  _what are they?"_  Yuu's voice dripped with contempt.

"They're—!"

A hand clamped over her mouth. She fought against it, but she was still too weak to scream loud enough for her voice to be audibly muffled. She thrashed against him, but couldn't even overtake the servant saving her from herself.

"Kisame! Itachi!" Yuu shouted.

A few moments later Kisame jumped in front of Yuu in a blur, not sparing a glance in Sakura's direction. Itachi followed shortly thereafter, but he stood at a greater distance than Sakura.

"Teach her a lesson! Teach her how to listen," he said in such a slimy voice it made Sakura's skin crawl.

Kisame turned around to face her and reached up to grab Samehada's golden handle. He took a few steps toward her, who stood in the servant's hold dumbstruck and uncomprehending, when he glanced over at his partner. Itachi's Sharingan gave Kisame a vibrantly burning glare. The threat of unimaginable malice darkened his features and made Kisame stop in his tracks.

"What are you doing? Get her! Do as I tell you!" Yuu threw his arms into the air pathetically, enraged at the idea of someone disobeying him. Raised as a spoiled boy he grew into an even more spoiled and wicked man.

"They're my teammates, what am I gonna do?"

"IF YOU DON'T GET TO THE BACK OF THE CARAVAN RIGHT NOW I WILL CURSE YOUR NAME ON BOTH CONTINENTS AND DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO BRING THE AKATSUKI DOWN. IF THIS IS THE KIND OF SERVICE YOUR ORGANIZATION OFFERS, THEN OUR JOURNEY BE DAMNED IF I'LL GO ANOTHER MILE WITH A BITCH LIKE YOU. GET OUT OF MY SIGHT. NOW!"

"Go," Itachi said.

She threw one last glance at the injured man and stormed out of the clearing the members of the procession made. She knocked her shoulders into the ones who didn't move aside; she couldn't care about her public appearance right now. She was exhausted, depressed, and so damn  _helpless._  She stumbled once she was free of the crowd, her legs shaking furiously, and didn't know how much more she could take. She hated Yuu, hated the people who let him do what he did; she hated his parents for raising him like that and she hated herself because she couldn't stand up for what was right because otherwise…

"Naruto," she said.

He would have to be her rock.

Later that night she sat next to Itachi beside a fire. They were cooking a skewered fish stuffed with foreign spices and vegetables offered by the Continental Divide natives. The orange firelight morphed shadows into extended mutations of their casters; the smoke coiled in on itself and slithered through the air thick with humidity, disappearing into the dark of the night. While Itachi tended to the fire she watched his movements intently. He seemed more strained than she thought he should have been. His lips were parted…was he having difficulty breathing? He was just poking the fire. She looked at his slender hand, but before she could notice its nearly imperceptible tremors, thoughts of  _his hand_  raced through her mind and stole her breath.

"Th—Thanks," she said. She couldn't look into his eyes, not when thoughts like that were still racing through her mind. She smiled and took the plate of stuffed fish and rice Itachi offered. "By the way, where is Kisame?" Itachi just quirked an eyebrow at her question, seeming to say  _you have to ask?_  She laughed and shook her head, understanding.

They ate quietly, their chopsticks barely tapping against the cheap plates. After the day-long walk with only breakfast pushing them along, this meal was more than welcome. She hummed in the back of her throat at the delicious warmth pooling in her stomach and smiled contentedly. Food was good. She looked at Itachi and watched him eat a few bites, but the longer she stared, the more her eyes wandered to his hands and made her think about him tending to more sensitive areas. She shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut, yelling at herself to stop thinking things like that. She couldn't deal with this silence anymore. Her imagination was too overactive.

"Uh, say, Itachi?" The only thing she could think of to do was bring up something depressing. That would definitely 'kill the mood' for her. He turned his head to her in acknowledgement. Looking at his dark, dark eyes for the first time shocked her. Usually his Sharingan was constantly activated. Terrifyingly enough, it felt like he could see  _more_  when his eyes were that faded ebony. The latent soulful tint in them made her self-conscious about her own inferior eyes. She pulled her gaze away from his, ashamed, and took a few moments to find her voice. "Um, about earlier, with the servants...they really aren't his servants." She finished in a deathly quiet voice, seeming to tighten in on herself at the mention of Yuu's 'servants.'

"…No."

"He called them his property. And, I guess they are, essentially." She took a deep breath and stared down the last few bits of fish on her plate. "They're really his slaves."

Itachi didn't respond to this. He continued to eat as if she hadn't said anything. Did he even care? Slowly, her eyebrows knitted together in the most fierce glare she'd felt in a long time. Her face flushed in her anger and she was about to jump to her feet and bite his head off when he looked over at her. Something in his expression kept her still and silent, attentive. He captivated her with that impossibly depthless look in his eyes.

"The culture of the Continental Divide is different than that of our own continent. No, that doesn't make what they do right, but it does mean we have to respect their way of life. Even if it means we must bite our tongues."

She barely saw the flare of anger in his eyes when he turned his head to set his plate aside. But it had been there. It was a kind of fire different from the Sharingan, different from his anger with Kisame, different from…anything she'd ever seen. It hurt her. Why was he so angry? She nodded her head at his words and focused on finishing her meal, then shyly went for seconds. That night in her tent she lay on the thin mat, an arm laid across her eyes, and thought over her conversation with Itachi. Not once had he really looked her in the eyes.

…Oh well. Not like it mattered, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A ginormous thanks to everyone who's reviewed. You guys make me smile and keep me motivated. Well, leave some feedback? I'd love to hear what you have to say. :)


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